Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

whitewing

purpletoenails wrote: »

Funny enough he did ask me this time if I'd like to join him for a few days because he knew it was somewhere I'd absolutely love to go.

QUOTE

What a shame that in being so considerate to you he is being so disrepectful to his wife and children. (Children on the assumption that he's lying to them too). That is the problem, isn't it, every single gesture of his to you is outweighed by the negative behaviour that it means for his family.

purpletoenails

Person_one wrote: »

His wife is sure he isn't seeing anybody else...

His mistress is sure he's only seeing her and his wife...

He's off on a trip without either of them.

How can there be any semblance of trust in this setup?

I gave up on this thread ages ago but it keeps popping back up so I've been tempted back in! Basically, nothing has changed for PTN except a lot of handwringing and justifications. It might be a record for the longest thread of no importance whatsoever.

Yeah I trust that he's not got anyone else on the go, as it were. He finds it difficult enough as it is and I'm quite certain he has no desire to complicate things any further.

And as for the thread being of no importance, well you're entitled to your opinion, but it's been invaluable to me

MarilynMonroe_2

Sorry but it sounds like youre almost gloating, blugh! He wanted to take you away SO you must be really special to him, thats the way it's sounding.
Honestly, he's a lying scumbag cheat and youre party to it. It's terrible, especially if he's got kids. My heart goes out to them. you have no idea of the potential damage these kids could face.

He should leave his wife and let her find someone decent, cos sure as hell he isnt.

LandyAndy

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

I feel sorry fo rthe wife... just remember karma is something that doesn't exist

Karma !!!!!!.

Somebody upsets you and something bad happens to them = Karma.

Somebody upsets you and nothing bad happens to them = Karma will get them (just not this time).

Grow up.

purpletoenails

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

Sorry but it sounds like youre almost gloating, blugh! He wanted to take you away SO you must be really special to him, thats the way it's sounding.
Honestly, he's a lying scumbag cheat and youre party to it. It's terrible, especially if he's got kids. My heart goes out to them. you have no idea of the potential damage these kids could face.

He should leave his wife and let her find someone decent, cos sure as hell he isnt.

Nope not gloating, was just responding to Lostinrates post.

And apart from the fact he is having an affair, he is actually a very decent man.

justmel

purpletoenails wrote: »

Nope not gloating, was just responding to Lostinrates post.

And apart from the fact he is having an affair, he is actually a very decent man.

And apart from the fact that the refuses to do the decent thing and give you a definitive answer about his future intentions which leaves you hanging on and constantly pondering on what to do about this?

He certainly isn't doing the decent thing by you,the decent thing if he could not choose or did not want to would be to set you free imo and i do think it is niave to think he is only there because he doesn't want to leave his children,he may well not want to leave his wife either.

Frankly i don't understand how you can possibly take his word for anything given the fact that you see him once every 2-3 weeks,have never met his wife,never been in his home or actually seen the way they live together.

If i was to conduct a relationship with someone who lived 2 hours away,whom i saw once every 2-3 weeks and who i only had other contact with via a phone and computer i could pretty much convince them of anything to do with my own life.

There comes a time when you have to wake up to the reality of certain situations,sadly you have not and i don't think you ever will simply because you don't want to see this for what it is,an affair where you want more and he couldn't care less what you want so long as it ties in with what he does.

ab7

be honest though it has made you feel special and you did consider it from your answer. You're allowing it to fan the flames of what you think is love. You're now making up excuses - how do you know really he's a decent man? You hardly see him and there is only a little daily communication according to you?
And your comment about 50/50 made me realise you really dont think about his wife either do you? Bet you his decision would factor in his wife whether you like it or not she has been a big part of his life for a long time and he wil not be able to just shut her off like you can

I agree with the others you simply want justifications I dont think you will leave you've convinced yourself not to

mountainofdebt

I've often wondered why PTN waits for this loser, putting her life on hold until he makes a decision (as we've seen that PTN can't make a decision and stick to it), and the only thing I can think of is that she can actually envys the wife's life if that makes any sense - I'm guessing the loser isn't short of a bob or too enjoying a comfortable lifestye etc.

victory

So if you love him so and want to be with him at any given secret opportunity and wanted to go to the place what actually stopped you from going?

clearingout

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I've often wondered why PTN waits for this loser, putting her life on hold until he makes a decision (as we've seen that PTN can't make a decision and stick to it), and the only thing I can think of is that she can actually envys the wife's life if that makes any sense - I'm guessing the loser isn't short of a bob or too enjoying a comfortable lifestye etc.

Envies what she thinks if the wife's life. The reality is likely very different, what with having a liar for a husband and all that...!