Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

POPPYOSCAR

shellsuit wrote: »

Ahh I see, I thought that was to do with a will sorry

When we made our wills we were advised to do this.

We also have our property as 'Joint Tenants' so that on death the other partner automatically owns 100%of the property. However, this does not
negate Inheritance Tax.

So to my mind the main benefit for us as a couple to get married is for 'financial reasons'.

balletshoes

mountainofdebt wrote: »

But what is being married, if it's not upholding the vows (= promises) that were made on the wedding day? To me the most important part of my wedding day was the bit in the service where the OH and I made our vows....not the dress, the flowers or any of the arty farty stuff but the vows.

If it weren't for these vows why get married?

lots of people get married for lots of reasons - I am married, but I wouldn't be if it hadn't made the red tape much easier of us being able to live together and raise a family in the country of our choice. Thats why I got married - I love my OH very much, but thats why I got married.

neverdespairgirl

victory wrote: »

The vows were supposed to be sacred

That depends - not everyone has a religious wedding.

peachyprice

nickyhutch wrote: »

I didn't stand in front of God (capital letter)

I don't think the capital G is necessary if you don't believe

nickyhutch

peachyprice wrote: »

I don't think the capital G is necessary if you don't believe

I do believe

poet123

nickyhutch wrote: »

They sometimes do.

My OH respects me. If I'm honest, the vows we made aren't that important to me - they were part of a script in a ceremony. More important is how behaves towards me every day.

Most people see their vows as more than a "script" if that was all they meant to you why bother? Why not just live together and use the measure you prefer- how he behaves every day.

I suspect that deep down your ambivalence towards the vows stems from the knowledge that he ignored the vows once he can do it again, so why attach that much import to them? Instead, living a day at a time and evaluating the relationship at a day at a time seems sensible and pragmatic.

nickyhutch

poet123 wrote: »

Most people see their vows as more than a "script" if that was all they meant to you why bother? Why not just live together and use the measure you prefer- how he behaves every day.

I suspect that deep down your ambivalence towards the vows stems from the knowledge that he ignored the vows once he can do it again, so why attach that much import to them? Instead, living a day at a time and evaluating the relationship at a day at a time seems sensible and pragmatic.

I already explained why I got married.

If that's what you prefer to believe (without knowing me and OH), then of course you're entitled to do so. I know me and I knew OH, so I know you're wrong.

A day at a time? We've been together 7/8 years, so I think it's based on a little more than that.

victory

nickyhutch wrote: »

You misunderstand me, perhaps deliberately.

No I didn't and now deep breath....;)

victory

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

That depends - not everyone has a religious wedding.

Absolutely true but the promises, the hope, the future together, being there for each other all the way through is the same whether it is infront of the eiffel (sp) tower or Las vegas strip:D

balletshoes

victory wrote: »

Absolutely true but the promises, the hope, the future together, being there for each other all the way through is the same whether it is infront of the eiffel (sp) tower or Las vegas strip:D

hopefully all of those discussions and promises would have been made long before the wedding day .