Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

gratefulforhelp_2

TBH even with the greatest respect for the religious ceremony I was sorely tempted to elope because of the hassle.

In every wedding there is someone (other than bride and groom) who decides it is all about them.

nickyhutch

Lotus-eater wrote: »

My OH does the obeying

Vows...... no, no way. It was nice and a bit touching tbh, but forgotten.

My real vows come every day. When I make her cups of tea, change a pooey nappy (from DS ), hold her hand when out for a walk, make dinner, have a chat/laugh.
These are my real vows and they have to be kept up, no relying on a archaic ceremony to help remember them.

It's the same way I think of most religions, if you need it fine, just don't think that everyone does.

THANK YOU. That's exactly what I mean.

Errata

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I rather like the idea of a typical corny 'Elvis' Las Vegas wedding.

If I have to go through this ritual I might as well get a laugh out of it.

You'll have a bigger laugh if you tell them all you're having a week's holiday away from everything and everyone to sort out your relationship, and tell them on you return it's sorted. Nobody will dare say a word

shellsuit

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Being married means absolutely nothing to us.

We do not feel the need to stand in front of anyone and make vows to each other. Our commitment to each other is understood and demonstrated on a daily basis.

As they say, 'actions speak louder than words'.

This has stood us in good stead for over 25 years.

We will have to get married ,eventually, purely for financial reasons.If we could do it online or through the post we would!!

What about for legal reasons incase anything happens to either of you, because as it stands now, you're not each others legal next of kin.

POPPYOSCAR

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

TBH even with the greatest respect for the religious ceremony I was sorely tempted to elope because of the hassle.

In every wedding there is someone (other than bride and groom) who decides it is all about them.

Oh how so very true!

POPPYOSCAR

shellsuit wrote: »

What about for legal reasons incase anything happens to either of you, because as it stands now, you're not each others legal next of kin.

Yes this is true.

But a lot of this can be incorporated into your will and setting up a Power of Attorney which we did years ago.

But yes it does make it easier if you are married.

shellsuit

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes this is true.

But a lot of this can be incorporated into your will and setting up a Power of Attorney which we did years ago.

But yes it does make it easier if you are married.

It's not just if either of you die though, what if one of you are seriously ill or in an accident where the legal next of kin in needed by medical staff?

This is one of the main reasons we got married as we wanted to be a couple in the eyes of the law.

Wickedkitten

mountainofdebt wrote: »

But what is being married, if it's not upholding the vows (= promises) that were made on the wedding day? To me the most important part of my wedding day was the bit in the service where the OH and I made our vows....not the dress, the flowers or any of the arty farty stuff but the vows.

If it weren't for these vows why get married?

Going by the divorce rate, vows don't mean diddly to a lot of people.

I've been with my OH now for 11 years and we have no plans to get married because we don't need to stand in front of anyone and make any promises that we haven't already made to each other.

I'm pretty jaded on the entire thing though personally. My mum was the other woman and they met when my dad was her supervisor, she got pregnant with my older sister and my dad left his wife and married her, just found out about a month ago that my mum has been lying about that for over 30 years now.

POPPYOSCAR

shellsuit wrote: »

It's not just if either of you die though, what if one of you are seriously ill or in an accident where the legal next of kin in needed by medical staff?

This is one of the main reasons we got married as we wanted to be a couple in the eyes of the law.

That is what the 'Power of Attorney' does, it gives whoever holds it the power to make those decisions.

shellsuit

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

That is what the 'Power of Attorney' does, it gives whoever holds it the power to make those decisions.

Ahh I see, I thought that was to do with a will sorry