Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

victory

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Goodness.

I will be careful how I speak to friends' husbands...

NO it was not the chat just seemed a bit of banter a bit of jokiness a bit I don't know if I can put a finger on it it was just a bit more than a bit of harmless jokey laughs, woman instinct is strong

euronorris

candygirl wrote: »

I couldn't forgive that even.If I thought my OH's bits had been anywhere except where they should be, he would be "bitless";):D:D
Seriously, it would prey on my mind forever if I thought/knew he'd been unfaithful:(:(

I understand where you are coming from. It's part of the reason I added 'I think'.

I would like to hope that I could recognise a mistake as just a mistake (albeit a very painful one) and work towards resolution, and eventually move past it. But, in reality, I just don't know how if I could.

Hopefully, I'll never have to find out.

gratefulforhelp_2

victory wrote: »

Yes I can see that but there are extenuating circumstances for that one decision, I am not sure that someone goes out from their marital home and decides before he gets to the pub that he is going to pick up a girl and have a one night stand with her, I am not sure a one night stand is as calculated and cold as a full blown affair.

No it's more like one drink is nothing, another won't hurt, it's only a kiss, it's only walking her home, it's only coffee...

gratefulforhelp_2

victory wrote: »

NO it was not the chat just seemed a bit of banter a bit of jokiness a bit I don't know if I can put a finger on it it was just a bit more than a bit of harmless jokey laughs, woman instinct is strong

But you're convinced nothing happened, so your instinct was wrong, or were you heading something off before it happened?

I would keep my enemies close...

victory

It was more me or a woman standing up protecting her lair as it were, seeing, having nothing really to go on but just a feeling and so it was better to act than let it be and it go off somewhere else and then turn round and think 'well I deserve that because I never bothered with the instincts and the signs and the what I thought I felt' any woman would react if they had an instinct.

I hadn't really thought much about this until keep coming back on this thread it was oh nearly 2 decades ago now funny how this thread reminds you of stuff:D

victory

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

But you're convinced nothing happened, so your instinct was wrong, or were you heading something off before it happened?

I would keep my enemies close...

Well yes and no heading off not sure I guess so, just womans instinct, enemy as it were left to another town for a job and was never seen again such a long time ago:D

gratefulforhelp_2

victory wrote: »

It was more me or a woman standing up protecting her lair as it were, seeing, having nothing really to go on but just a feeling and so it was better to act than let it be and it go off somewhere else and then turn round and think 'well I deserve that because I never bothered with the instincts and the signs and the what I thought I felt' any woman would react if they had an instinct.

I hadn't really thought much about this until keep coming back on this thread it was oh nearly 2 decades ago now funny how this thread reminds you of stuff:D

Wow, that is long ago.

Congratulations on having a marriage lasting 4 times the average:T

I always feel really guilty if I get those feelings and put them down to my paranoia:o

euronorris

victory wrote: »

NO it was not the chat just seemed a bit of banter a bit of jokiness a bit I don't know if I can put a finger on it it was just a bit more than a bit of harmless jokey laughs, woman instinct is strong

I think I know where you are coming from.

One of my OH's closest friends is female. She's lovely, they have a laugh, they chat but I know it's all innocent and nothing more than friendship.

But there have been other women, who seemingly are only chatting and laughing with him, but I can see something more there too (even if he can't). Something in the way they look at him, or repeatedly touch his arm or whatever. I mostly try to ignore it, as I know he wouldn't do anything even if they would, but it still grates on me.

victory

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

No it's more like one drink is nothing, another won't hurt, it's only a kiss, it's only walking her home, it's only coffee...

But is that a decision/calculated or is it 'going with the flow' seeing what happens, seeing what life brings?

victory

euronorris wrote: »

I think I know where you are coming from.

One of my OH's closest friends is female. She's lovely, they have a laugh, they chat but I know it's all innocent and nothing more than friendship.

But there have been other women, who seemingly are only chatting and laughing with him, but I can see something more there too (even if he can't). Something in the way they look at him, or repeatedly touch his arm or whatever. I mostly try to ignore it, as I know he wouldn't do anything even if they would, but it still grates on me.

Yes you see that is pretty much it, OH had no idea that it was causing such trauma to me as he said he was 'just having a laugh' and there are many people we have a laugh with but this one seemed different:D