Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

purpletoenails

candygirl wrote: »

[/B]
I agree, but because you don't seem to be sincere in your feelings for others, I think maybe we have taken on the same frame of mind:D:D:D

Regardless of what posters think of me on here, I do actually have feelings for others, I'm not heartless or emotionless and I do think about the hurt that could be caused. It doesn't make me feel great, I'm not on here to gloat or boast abut what I am doing, because I know that it is wrong.

Lotus-eater

purpletoenails wrote: »

But although there have been some very amusing and lighthearted asides on this thread, the subject matter itself I feel is no laughing matter, not for anyone that's involved.

You've got that the wrong way round, things are so serious that you have to laugh about them.

You are on the edge of being a part of maybe ruining up to several peoples lives.
It's so serious it's f'ing hilarious.

Lotus-eater

Bubby wrote: »

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Not sexually I hope ........ _pale_ _pale_

:rotfl:

EthelBloggs

BLUEBIE wrote: »

To be honest at this moment in time, i would probably welcome finding out that he had done it again so I could walk away.

I know what your saying Poolycat, I will try to explain:

To start with she made friends with him and to some dgree with me. They had the same days of when me and her husband was at work. They started meeting for coffee, she turned into a very good friend who my huisband enjoyed chatting too. he then started telluing him how unhappy she was at home etc. Then he was telling her how busy I was and how he wished he can more to give etc. Mush mutual ego stroking went on, etc etc. Her hubby told me they were having an affair. He promised to end it, I said ok. However Occasionally over the next couple of weeks I would lose it and accuse him of seeing her again. Until he did, I got told my a friend who had seen them together, he promised to end it. The same thing happened until we had been in this situation 6 times, the last time I found out the day we got back from Hols, had a great time etc.

He has said its def no contact and I have a couple of people who work with him keeping an eye etc. But I'm not sure I want someone who needs keeping an eye on. Even though I know he's not a serial adulterer, just stupid and weak.

I guess I don't know what I want or where I am at the moment, as the last bout was only 6 weeks ago. I guess time will tell.

This was the storey of the woamn who's hubby is so awful she had to leave but actually left her kids too and used to send me texts when thet were meeting. Soory for bad typos trying to be quick as at work.

B

Sounds very similar to the situation with my P. I have asked him to leave more times than I can remember but he just won't. We're 18 months down the line now and it's been a year since he had contact with ow but the damage is done. I no longer trust him, don't believe a word he says even about trivial stuff. He left the job where he met her pretty much as soon as I found out what was going on.

My self esteem and confidence are shot. I'm a shadow of what I used to be, I hide away and avoid people and trust and rely on no one anymore. I'm jittery and nervous, can't answer the door or the phone unless I know who it is.

I have begged and pleaded with him to leave but he just clings on. I need some time alone to rebuild myself and then decide whether to continue the relationship but he won't give me that opportunity.

His affair ruined my life

PTN, please don't condemn that man's wife to a similar fate, or even yourself..

northerner77

purpletoenails wrote: »

Regardless of what posters think of me on here, I do actually have feelings for others, I'm not heartless or emotionless and I do think about the hurt that could be caused. It doesn't make me feel great, I'm not on here to gloat or boast abut what I am doing, because I know that it is wrong.

Ok then Ms Toenails - have a good think and make a list here of all the likely collateral damage that will ensue when you eventually land your catch for good. Then stand in front of the mirror and read it all out aloud to yourself.

gratefulforhelp_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Taadaa wrote: »

About every half an hour

Not that I see that many bodices about any more tbh

So many bodices, so little time.

purpletoenails wrote: »

Well I'm pleased that you would find other peoples misfortune entertaining

It's a bit late to get on your 'igh 'orse after posting about your infidelity on an internet forum.

purpletoenails wrote: »

Nope nothing to update that I haven't already stated

But although there have been some very amusing and lighthearted asides on this thread, the subject matter itself I feel is no laughing matter, not for anyone that's involved.

I think the silly asides have defused a tension that would otherwise result in more rudeness to yourself and others.

And we really don't need any more of that, do we?

Pollycat

EthelBloggs wrote: »

Sounds very similar to the situation with my P. I have asked him to leave more times than I can remember but he just won't. We're 18 months down the line now and it's been a year since he had contact with ow but the damage is done. I no longer trust him, don't believe a word he says even about trivial stuff. He left the job where he met her pretty much as soon as I found out what was going on.

My self esteem and confidence are shot. I'm a shadow of what I used to be, I hide away and avoid people and trust and rely on no one anymore. I'm jittery and nervous, can't answer the door or the phone unless I know who it is.

I have begged and pleaded with him to leave but he just clings on. I need some time alone to rebuild myself and then decide whether to continue the relationship but he won't give me that opportunity.

His affair ruined my life

PTN, please don't condemn that man's wife to a similar fate, or even yourself..

Ethel

Are you and your OH in a financial/family position that your OH could actually afford to move out for a while?

If not, I can see why he may be 'clinging on', even though it's his fault that you feel you need space.

It sounds to me like he really regrets the affair - unless he just doesn't want to lose his cosy home life.

Did you have low self-esteem/trust issues before the affair or is it just since?

Posts like yours pop up every now and again on this thread and, amidst all the joking, banter and back-biting, ir really drives home the damage that affairs can do.

lostinrates

northerner77 wrote: »

Ok then Ms Toenails - have a good think and make a list here of all the likely collateral damage that will ensue when you eventually land your catch for good. Then stand in front of the mirror and read it all out aloud to yourself.

Hmm. I think despite what has been said the chances are her self esteem is not high. I think rather more beneficial would be to start to be more skeptical and apply the less rose tinted interpretations to things he says and does. He too would be causeing all that pain and damage, and a person who could do that in the most hurtful way...not trying to do it in the best way (leaving first dating afterwards) would be pretty unattractive to me and many other women.

lostinrates

Taadaa wrote: »

Huhhhhhh I dunno.......I think that you can have love and a bit (or a lot) of bodice ripping in the same relationship. Love doesn't necessarily mean sharing a life without passion.

Love doesn't mean a life with out passion, absolutely not. but lust can occur without love. And that is what I guess was being pointed out.

If ''love'' (or lust) were the pure clean defense against all critism and blame and bad things happening then no marriage would ever end. Love is not an answer to all evil....in or outside marriage, but in marriage a commitment has been taken which IMO should come into its own when things are tough and love seems a little less prioritised....(I don't know because we haven't experienced that yet). Even if its just enough love left, or memory of love and respect for a person to call time on things properly.

euronorris

candygirl wrote: »

mmmmmmmmm and me Sean Bean:p:p:p:p:p:p

Jensen Ackles for me, and Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins and after watching Source Code for the 2nd time last night, Jake Gyllenhal too. Mmmmm I've met the first 3 though, and managed to stop myself from jumping on them! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

It's Felicia Day or Isla Fisher for my OH. Mmmmm, maybe I should die my hair red! :rotfl: