Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

POPPYOSCAR

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Obviously having just gone through a ceremony, I checked the contract fully and I can tell you...... that this is indeed the case.

My OH belongs to me and I don't care what anyone thinks so there

Oh yes.. and just where does it say 24/7?????????

You must be a man!!!!!

victory

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Obviously having just gone through a ceremony, I checked the contract fully and I can tell you...... that this is indeed the case.

My OH belongs to me and I don't care what anyone thinks so there

My OH re-writes the marriage contract to suit, he is always adding new stuff:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

victory

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Oh yes.. and just where does it say 24/7?????????

You must be a man!!!!!

nope;)......................... he says not me;)

Lotus-eater

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Oh yes.. and just where does it say 24/7?????????

You must be a man!!!!!

I can confirm that, it's something I don't try to hide

It says 24/7 on the mans copy, obviously they don't show all the wording to the ladies, they wouldn't understand the big words anyway. The mans copy is the full legal version.
There is some other stuff about backdoor loving and dirty socks in there, but I'll not bore your pretty little head about it.

:cool:

victory

Oh lotus you are really one of the funniest posters ever:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

POPPYOSCAR

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I can confirm that, it's something I don't try to hide

It says 24/7 on the mans copy, obviously they don't show all the wording to the ladies, they wouldn't understand the big words anyway. The mans copy is the full legal version.
There is some other stuff about backdoor loving and dirty socks in there, but I'll not bore your pretty little head about it.

:cool:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

layton55

clearly there's a quite a few of you here who don't like to hear the other side of the story. unfortunately they exist whether you want to believe it or not. whilst i can empathise what it might be like to be the cheated W and mother i cannot truly appreciate the pain as I haven't been through it. for those of you who have such a strong opinion about what and who the MM and OW are - it's the same really. you will never truly understand the things they go through unless you've been there yourself so before you jump down anyone's throats who are here to help the people who have posted on this thread looking for help, maybe think twice and don't bother posting if it riles you that much! i'm not as patient as PTN and not about to take this abuse from people who have only one view of the world, theirs.

delusional is the women who cling onto their marriage for dear life, refusing to admit it's over and putting up with disrespect, betrayal and pain they say they go through. and for what? the kids? or yourselves? are you too afraid to move on? to be alone? to depend on yourself? how much is it really for the kids? i think they're the questions you need to answer for yourselves, no need to share on here.

"In the meantime, that poor woman and his children are living in a veritable purgatory" - yes they are, as am I but as adults, me and the W have control of our own lives and decisions. she doesn't need to wait for him to decide whether he wants to be with her. she can decide what she wants anytime. but i'm a bit tired of all the sympathy the betrayed wives/mothers who know about the affair/s their husbands have had get to be honest. you have a choice to do the right thing by yourself and your children. no one is making you stay with a person whom you don't trust, has hurt you, betrayed you. makes you unhappy. so don't. leave.

not that easy a decision huh? well, if you do decide to stay 'because of the children' and you wake up one day and they're grown and flown the nest and you're left in a loveless, unhappy, meaningless marriage, resenting your partner and them you - tell yourself then that you didn't make a 'mistake'. tell yourself then that you did the right thing by your kids. personally i think kids are just as much an excuse for the cheater as it is the betrayed. they're treated like a bargaining tool which is sad. growing up in a household where parents resent each other and surpress that resentment is not great. kids pick that up and i promise you your kids won't benefit from that unless you're pro-hollywood actors acting your asses off in front of them. but then what a lesson that is to teach your kids! put on brave face and don't be true to your feelings, pretend you're alright when you're not. i don't think any of you would want your kids to think that.

and please don't be so childish - saying 'my MM' is merely for grammar. don't read into it too much and if you believe that no one owns anyone then you shouldn't refer to them as 'my H' either.

finally, what about those of you who are encouraging women to stay strong and keep at marriage when you condemn the cheater so much?? you should be advising these women to gather their self-respect and move on. but instead you want so desperately to believe that the affairs meant nothing and i know in many cases they don't - it's just sex, but not all of them. i know many people whose relationships started off as affair and still going on strong. it's not ideal but the sad truth is it happens. accept it.

lostinrates

layton55 wrote: »

clearly there's a quite a few of you here who don't like to hear the other side of the story. unfortunately they exist whether you want to believe it or not. whilst i can empathise what it might be like to be the cheated W and mother i cannot truly appreciate the pain as I haven't been through it. for those of you who have such a strong opinion about what and who the MM and OW are - it's the same really. you will never truly understand the things they go through unless you've been there yourself so before you jump down anyone's throats who are here to help the people who have posted on this thread looking for help, maybe think twice and don't bother posting if it riles you that much! i'm not as patient as PTN and not about to take this abuse from people who have only one view of the world, theirs.

delusional is the women who cling onto their marriage for dear life, refusing to admit it's over and putting up with disrespect, betrayal and pain they say they go through. and for what? the kids? or yourselves? are you too afraid to move on? to be alone? to depend on yourself? how much is it really for the kids? i think they're the questions you need to answer for yourselves, no need to share on here.

"In the meantime, that poor woman and his children are living in a veritable purgatory" - yes they are, as am I but as adults, me and the W have control of our own lives and decisions. she doesn't need to wait for him to decide whether he wants to be with her. she can decide what she wants anytime. but i'm a bit tired of all the sympathy the betrayed wives/mothers who know about the affair/s their husbands have had get to be honest. you have a choice to do the right thing by yourself and your children. no one is making you stay with a person whom you don't trust, has hurt you, betrayed you. makes you unhappy. so don't. leave.

not that easy a decision huh? well, if you do decide to stay 'because of the children' and you wake up one day and they're grown and flown the nest and you're left in a loveless, unhappy, meaningless marriage, resenting your partner and them you - tell yourself then that you didn't make a 'mistake'. tell yourself then that you did the right thing by your kids. personally i think kids are just as much an excuse for the cheater as it is the betrayed. they're treated like a bargaining tool which is sad. growing up in a household where parents resent each other and surpress that resentment is not great. kids pick that up and i promise you your kids won't benefit from that unless you're pro-hollywood actors acting your asses off in front of them. but then what a lesson that is to teach your kids! put on brave face and don't be true to your feelings, pretend you're alright when you're not. i don't think any of you would want your kids to think that.

and please don't be so childish - saying 'my MM' is merely for grammar. don't read into it too much and if you believe that no one owns anyone then you shouldn't refer to them as 'my H' either.

finally, what about those of you who are encouraging women to stay strong and keep at marriage when you condemn the cheater so much?? you should be advising these women to gather their self-respect and move on. but instead you want so desperately to believe that the affairs meant nothing and i know in many cases they don't - it's just sex, but not all of them. i know many people whose relationships started off as affair and still going on strong. it's not ideal but the sad truth is it happens. accept it.

the most interesting thing to me in all of this is how strongly you feel the wives should move on for self respect. ''Your MM'' is in marriage counselling and trying to make his marriage for...yet you have set a date and are hanging on till then? It sounds like a contradiction.

layton55

lostinrates wrote: »

the most interesting thing to me in all of this is how strongly you feel the wives should move on for self respect. ''Your MM'' is in marriage counselling and trying to make his marriage for...yet you have set a date and are hanging on till then? It sounds like a contradiction.

but i'm not sat here complaining and wondering what to do. i'm very clear about my next move from the deadline moving forward whichever way it goes. self-respect is already gone for all parties concerned when an affair happens - it's what you do about it that allows you to get it back

POPPYOSCAR

layton55 wrote: »

clearly there's a quite a few of you here who don't like to hear the other side of the story. unfortunately they exist whether you want to believe it or not. whilst i can empathise what it might be like to be the cheated W and mother i cannot truly appreciate the pain as I haven't been through it. for those of you who have such a strong opinion about what and who the MM and OW are - it's the same really. you will never truly understand the things they go through unless you've been there yourself so before you jump down anyone's throats who are here to help the people who have posted on this thread looking for help, maybe think twice and don't bother posting if it riles you that much! i'm not as patient as PTN and not about to take this abuse from people who have only one view of the world, theirs.

delusional is the women who cling onto their marriage for dear life, refusing to admit it's over and putting up with disrespect, betrayal and pain they say they go through. and for what? the kids? or yourselves? are you too afraid to move on? to be alone? to depend on yourself? how much is it really for the kids? i think they're the questions you need to answer for yourselves, no need to share on here.

"In the meantime, that poor woman and his children are living in a veritable purgatory" - yes they are, as am I but as adults, me and the W have control of our own lives and decisions. she doesn't need to wait for him to decide whether he wants to be with her. she can decide what she wants anytime. but i'm a bit tired of all the sympathy the betrayed wives/mothers who know about the affair/s their husbands have had get to be honest. you have a choice to do the right thing by yourself and your children. no one is making you stay with a person whom you don't trust, has hurt you, betrayed you. makes you unhappy. so don't. leave.

not that easy a decision huh? well, if you do decide to stay 'because of the children' and you wake up one day and they're grown and flown the nest and you're left in a loveless, unhappy, meaningless marriage, resenting your partner and them you - tell yourself then that you didn't make a 'mistake'. tell yourself then that you did the right thing by your kids. personally i think kids are just as much an excuse for the cheater as it is the betrayed. they're treated like a bargaining tool which is sad. growing up in a household where parents resent each other and surpress that resentment is not great. kids pick that up and i promise you your kids won't benefit from that unless you're pro-hollywood actors acting your asses off in front of them. but then what a lesson that is to teach your kids! put on brave face and don't be true to your feelings, pretend you're alright when you're not. i don't think any of you would want your kids to think that.

and please don't be so childish - saying 'my MM' is merely for grammar. don't read into it too much and if you believe that no one owns anyone then you shouldn't refer to them as 'my H' either.

finally, what about those of you who are encouraging women to stay strong and keep at marriage when you condemn the cheater so much?? you should be advising these women to gather their self-respect and move on. but instead you want so desperately to believe that the affairs meant nothing and i know in many cases they don't - it's just sex, but not all of them. i know many people whose relationships started off as affair and still going on strong. it's not ideal but the sad truth is it happens. accept it.

You have misunderstood my post I think. I was not getting at you saying myMM. I was responding to posts saying that he did not 'belong' to you, as I think no one 'belongs' to anyone. I actually do understand why you said it and FWIW I do think there is some truth in
your post.

I have said before on here that although I do not condone affairs I do understand how they can sometimes happen.

I also think that some people when they marry, think that 'thats it' and that the partner has to put up with them whatever way they are just because they are married. They seem to take exception when it does not work out that way.