Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

peachyprice

purpletoenails wrote: »

he is having an affair, but in my mind he could be an awful lot worse.

Sorry, but that is a pretty poor excuse to allow the affair ro carry on. That's like saying 'My OH is an alcoholic, but it's Ok because he could be anawful lot worse, or my OH verbally abuses me, but it could be an awful lot worse. Just because there are worse things to be doesn't excuse being a cheat and a liar.

I know the best thing I can do is cut my losses and move on with my life.

If you KNOW this why didn't you stay out when you got out?

You know what you should do, you've admitted what you should do, so why oh why can't you be a grown up and do it?

GillianY1

I found out at the beginning of the year that my husband was having an affair with someone from work.

I had sensed for a while that something wasn't right with him although every time I asked he just said everything was fine and I had nothing to worry about - it was just my imagination etc etc. I hated the way I was feeling and had almost convinced myself that I was just being a complete paranoid penny. Anyway, to cut a long story short I checked his e-mails and texts and found messages from a girl (photos etc). At this point he had said he was away with work but I found a hotel booking in our home city for that night for 2 people. I turned up outside the hotel the next morning (I couldn't leave my son home alone while I went to the hotel that night!) and caught him red handed.

I was so angry and right then my whole world felt like it had caved in. We had been together for 13 years (unlucky for some!) and I had been nothing but a good and caring wife. He really did have an easy life and I know for a fact I gave him no reason to cheat on me. I hated my 3 year old asking me when daddy would be home and asking why i was crying.

People cheat because they are selfish cowards. If he is so unhappy in his marriage then he really needs to grow a pair and end his wifes suffering. I would rather have been told straight then have to catch him in the act. No, I wouldn't have liked it but in the end it would have at least been a bit more diginified.

People like you should get a grip on reality. You are obviously just attention seeking since you feel the need to come on to a forum and advertise the fact you are having an affair with a married man. How would you feel if you found out tomorrow that he had another girlfriend lurking in the shadows that you didn't know about and that you are not as special to him as he makes out? Only then would you be able to know how his wife will feel when she eventually finds out his secret.

FatVonD

I dare say his financial obligations have been presented to PTN as an example of his wife being demanding/only wanting him for what he can provide her with rather than as a lifestyle decision he made himself.

VestanPance

I think many are over thinking PTNs situation. She's blind to his actions as she has feelings for him. I'm pretty certain if she was reading her posts from another poster then she'd not be so sure of this guys actions.

If anything she's a classic other woman. Always believing his stories. He's different, she's the special person in his life if only he could escape his horrible marriage etc. In truth he's in control over contact. He's in control over when and often they see each other, when it's convienant for him. He's getting her back despite changing nothing. He has his wife and family life, and his secret affair with PTN.

Personally I think she's a fool for getting involved with a married man. He's a scumbag for treating his wife and family as he does, as his special time with PTN is time that could be special time with his wife and/or children.

She's blind to the situation she's got herself in due to her emotions for this muppet.

Pollycat

GillianY1
I don't wish to comment on PTN's circumstances or any of the posts discussing them but I just had to tell you that your post was so heart-wrenching to read.

I hope you are managing to move forward with your life and that your son is OK.

Your story should make any woman who is having an affair stop in their tracks and consider the implications of what they are doing.

Wishing you all the best.

candygirl

So now the wife isn't only a nag, she is a materialistic one:DThe excuses get even worse as the days go on:D:D:D
Bet they both wear chastity belts on all the expensive holidays she demands, and I bet he'd be much happier in a tent at Skegness;):rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Let's face it, they both want the lifestyle they've got, prob have a normal sex life, but he needs a bit of titillation on the side now and then [STRIKE]ie you, and god knows who else[/STRIKE]:D:D
Relationships can get stale, and you might be the icing on the cake for now, but remember, life is all about choices, and he made his a long time ago.Otherwise, you'd have ridden off into the sunset together years ago:D:D
GILLIAN massive (((hugs))) to you hun, and hope you are rebuilding your life without that cheating scum xx

jetplane

On the issue of teachers, mentors and pearls of wisdom. A very good teacher at school told me that 'you have nothing if you don't have peace of mind'. This has come back to me many a time over the years and it is so true.

victory

Think before you act might be another pearl of wisdom that a teacher said to me, think first act second always one to remember:D

victory

GillianY1 wrote: »

I found out at the beginning of the year that my husband was having an affair with someone from work.

I truly hope that you are now after been through this are able to see to the future and not live a life full of anger and regret, they say 'the best revenge is to live a happy life' and I hope you will always have a happy life.:D

SaLoGo

victory wrote: »

I truly hope that you are now after been through this are able to see to the future and not live a life full of anger and regret, they say 'the best revenge is to live a happy life' and I hope you will always have a happy life.:D

It's something that never leaves you. My ex left me when he got his bit of fluff up the duff, I am very happy now but every now and then I have a little wobble, get paranoid and insecure. Luckily I found a wonderful man who understands how I feel and why I feel like I do (he went through something similar).