Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

jonty1970

An example of how affairs turn out.
My exes brother had an affair, while his wife was seriously ill. The "bit on the side" knew all about it and still kept seeing him.
He divorced her and married the "bit on the side"
He was skint from the divorce and they rowed.
He cheated on the 2nd wife as well.
So now he has 2 ex wives and kids to pay for. He has so much guilt, he does everything he can to make up to his family
And the exes know they can ask him for favours/ money and he can't say no.
All for what? It might be fun at the time but the fall out is horrible.

And yes I still spoke to him, but I was put in an awful situation at the time, because I knew he was cheating, but the wives didn't and I felt awful knowing. I wish I had never found out, as I part of his sordid affairs. But how could I tell the wife? I wish I had, but everyone would have fallen out with me, so I kept my nose out.

He's skint and knackered now !

jonty1970

PTN, people aren't against you. The married man you are seeing is messing you about and you would be so much happier if you cut him out of your life.

He probably tried it on with lots of women, men like that cast a wide net, and some take the bate.
You did and became his plaything, someone to go to when he needs a break.

Honest men join a gym or go the pub, have a hobby to wind down, not start an affair.
He has dragged you down to this
You should want more from a man.

I have had 2 horrible exes and more fool me for staying so long, but I did get out in the end. I lived with crap for far too long. We all make mistakes and try to justify our choices.

Now, I have a wonderful man. I never thought I would get someone who loves me the way he does.
I trust him with my life. He is there for me. he buys me little treats. He says lovely things to me, he texts me when he is at work. We are 100% happy with each other.
If either of is ill or neesd help, we are there for each other.
You don't have that.

His family will hate you, if he ever leaves his wife (I would put money on him not leaving, until his wife chucks him out)
You deserve a man to be yours alone.
Two years he has had to be with you
I couldn't go two days without my OH

You will find someone one day, who is all yours and you can go out any time you want together.

This cheating man isn't good enough to be with any woman. Tell him where to go, change your number and don't look back.

I would be annoyed at being kept dangling by anyone. I wouldn't take anything less now. Been there and never being treated bad again by any man.
if you were a friend, I would want to shake you. You life is going round in circles

If my Mr Perfect did anything to me, as much as I love him, he would be out the door and finished with. And he knows that.
Don't be second best.

But you keep making excuses for him. He has you well trained. Sorry, but you sound like any other "bit on the side"

I heard a quote on Eastenders, when Jody was cheated on and upset she wouldn't get her dream wedding

"You're not Cinderalla and life isn't a fairy tail" or something like that

For your sake, walk away and leave his poor wife to him.

I wish you well and hope you do find happiness one day.

Bubby

purpletoenails wrote: »

As I said in post 2784, I've never said that having an affair wasn't morally wrong.

However I do feel that there are much much worse things that a friend could do than fall in love with someone that was already in a relationship. Yes you could rip a family apart, destroy his wife and destroy his children's lives.....oh yes that is already happening:p

And I'd have no problem with him being in touch with his family, why would I?

But will they have a problem being in touch with you? As his children are older they have the ability to make your life very difficult if you were a couple and also have the ability to make him choose between you!

I know if I was the wife I would be making damn sure your life was a living hell and make you and him regret ever doing that to me:D

jonty1970

I posted before about the "bit on the side" turning up with naked photos of the "boyfriend"

You will be at that same point one day. Frustrated that he won't commit to you.
The women that tell the wife are fed up of being messed around.

You seem to revel in being the "little woman" who does as she's told.

Stand up for yourself and tell him it's now or never.

He is the one who says he loves you and wants to be with you. Talk is cheap. Tell him to get his !!!!! in gear and prove it, or you will look for someone who can commit to you full time

gratefulforhelp_2

But Jonty, if she does that she might destroy a family.

Melonade

GillianY1 wrote: »

People like you should get a grip on reality. You are obviously just attention seeking since you feel the need to come on to a forum and advertise the fact you are having an affair with a married man. How would you feel if you found out tomorrow that he had another girlfriend lurking in the shadows that you didn't know about and that you are not as special to him as he makes out? Only then would you be able to know how his wife will feel when she eventually finds out his secret.

:T Maybe that's the real reason you don't actually see him very much. And the reason you both sit round chatting and it's not a 100% sex based affair... he's getting enough from his other bits on the side!! You can say "it's not like that, I know I'm the only one etc" but do you really know that for sure? REALLY? Imagine him having an affiar behind your back.

I haven't bothered replying to this because I don't usually like getting involved in this kind of stuff but honestly you should of stuck to your guns and called it a day PROPERLY!! I'm not sure I'd have enough patience to hang around and wait for something thats not going to happen, ever!!! Good Luck with it though

purpletoenails

Thanks all for your comments. I will reply to any specific questions tomorrow as I'm off out now and am unlikely to be able to type in a straight line when I get in later. I've noticed a couple of posters seem to have very vivid imaginations though!!

essexgirly

euronorris wrote: »

How could I possibly trust someone who isn't trustworthy? They would know that the other person wasn't available, children involved etc and do it anyway.

It's so selfish, what's to say they wouldn't do that to me or break my trust in any other way because it suited them?

The answer is that I could not.

I'm talking about friends, who I have grown with throughout life, who you have been through thick and thin together. I don't judge them whatever they do, I may not like their choices, but they are their choices and not mine. At the end of it, they are still my closest friends. I'm talking about FRIENDS here, not acquintances here.

I love and trust my friends and you know what, I know its reciprocated. Both with mutual respect, honesty and yes, trust


We trust each other, and that is something in life of which I can be assured.

POPPYOSCAR

essexgirly wrote: »

I'm talking about friends, who I have grown with throughout life, who you have been through thick and thin together. I don't judge them whatever they do, I may not like their choices, but they are their choices and not mine. At the end of it, they are still my closest friends. I'm talking about FRIENDS here, not acquintances here.

I love and trust my friends and you know what, I know its reciprocated. Both with mutual respect, honesty and yes, trust


We trust each other, and that is something in life of which I can be assured.

This is exactly how I feel as well.

jonty1970

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

But Jonty, if she does that she might destroy a family.

Does she care?>
I doubt it

PTN comes across as a wimp
Wants the man, whatever it cost (not to her, it's his real family and children who will suffer)

Typical "other woman" wants that man, whatever it costs!

Selfish, deluded and strung along and happy with the scraps that the man gives them

Thinks they are special. The One!

Pathetic!

leaving this thread. I thought PTN was different, but she has shown she is a typical slapper. Willing to take the scraps some sad man throws them