Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

candygirl

I cannot believe this thread is still going on:eek::eek:If he wanted to leave his wife he'd have done it ages ago;)
If PTN wants to hang on, in hope he will do, it's her loss.V sad imo:(:(

MissMitch

lostinrates wrote: »

Is she? it still has the ptotential to oimpact on her financially for the rest of her life, and emptionally. If for example, she was a sahm, or took career sacrifices to fit round her OH....that will reflect later on. Money divided in half just doesn't stretch as far...two more modest homes, for example, cost more than one flash one. She might be as smitten with him as PTN and take years to get over it....or not, who knows. The chances are she won't take it well or be thrilled, or her husband would have told her already.

Oh I understand that, and I've always rather said that I believe, personally in making myself financially secure in my own right, I wouldn't rely on someone else financially ever again...but that's my personal choice. It was the chances of meeting someone rapidly diminishing part like we have a best before date. There's still plenty of single, divorced, separated, widowed, men around in their 40s, 50s, 60s...I can't always vouch for quality mind!

lostinrates

MissMitch wrote: »

No disrespect but I think that's weird, with friends and family that are in similar situations to this or abusive relationships that they've stayed in, I've never unfriended them because I didn't agree with what they were doing. I might tell people when I've had enough of hearing about it, but what they do with their lives is their own business and I'd hope they wouldn't judge me either for what I do with mine...anyone who would I wouldn't consider worth having as a friend in the first place.

I'm still very much friends with my friend who I referred to. But I have dropped others in simialr situations. Unless you love someone tbh the yuck factor is too high I'm afraid. Also...it makes trusting people harder. for me its a balance, I love my friends and accept they are flawed, but the bigger flaws are harder to dela with. I'd have the same problem with a friend who was a habitual thief, who committed benefit fraud or who was just very mean.

victory

purpletoenails wrote: »

I <- it wasn't a criticism, I was just saying[/COLOR][/COLOR].

Still no actual facts that could be connected direct have been put on have they?

victory

lostinrates wrote: »

I'm still very much friends with my friend who I referred to. But I have dropped others in simialr situations. Unless you love someone tbh the yuck factor is too high I'm afraid. Also...it makes trusting people harder. for me its a balance, I love my friends and accept they are flawed, but the bigger flaws are harder to dela with. I'd have the same problem with a friend who was a habitual thief, who committed benefit fraud or who was just very mean.

That is a very valid point, along the way I have had all sorts of friends that have not done very nice things, including what we are talking about having affairs, I have not condoned it, been there for the support etc when it all goes wrong but have not necessarily dropped them because of it, they are like me, inperfect and as much as I would hope they stuck with me along the rocky road of life it works vice versa.:D

Errata

candygirl wrote: »

I cannot believe this thread is still going on:eek::eek:If he wanted to leave his wife he'd have done it ages ago;)
If PTN wants to hang on, in hope he will do, it's her loss.V sad imo:(:(

If he was deeply in love after over two years, he'd be seeing her a couple of times a week not a couple of times a month.

lostinrates

MissMitch wrote: »

Oh I understand that, and I've always rather said that I believe, personally in making myself financially secure in my own right, I wouldn't rely on someone else financially ever again...but that's my personal choice. It was the chances of meeting someone rapidly diminishing part like we have a best before date. There's still plenty of single, divorced, separated, widowed, men around in their 40s, 50s, 60s...I can't always vouch for quality mind!

as a wife who can't be financially independant because of personal situations combined with choices WE have made in OUR marriage, the justification would leave me cold tbh.

I think in many ways we do have a BBD, albeit a very fallible one. I've known people remarry in seventies, but I also feel that its easier when you are younger with less baggage. ATM my mother seems to have met someone else, but my dad hasn't and says he doesn't want to and can't deal with it..I hope he feels the same in five/ten years in a way, because I think his chances decrease rapidly from now on.

victory

Errata wrote: »

If he was deeply in love after over two years, he'd be seeing her a couple of times a week not a couple of times a month.

And more even because how it reads now is he does not like being in his home with his erratic wife so why would he not want to be out as much as he could with a calm PTN?

candygirl

I've got purple toenails btw, but wouldn't sh@g another woman's hubby!!Whatever happened to sisterhood?;)
Oh and BTW how many blokes call their wives nags?It's an age old way of trying to silence us:mad::mad::mad:

lostinrates

candygirl wrote: »

I've got purple toenails btw, but wouldn't sh@g another woman's hubby!!Whatever happened to sisterhood?;)
Oh and BTW how many blokes call their wives nags?It's an age old way of trying to silence us:mad::mad::mad:

I remember my mother in her forties and early fifties, and during a long and hard menopause. Its the only thing that really scares me about reaching that sort of age. I sure as hell hope dh can take it and is there for me when I'm less than lovely, as I imagine the propensity to be a hormone crazed witch is inherited.:o:o