Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

victory

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Wouldn't he have told PTN that, if it were the case? He hasn't, as far as I can tell from what we know, given her the slightest reason to think that anything has changed as a result of her "ultimatum".

I have to so agree with this, PTN never mentioned this and never told us the ultimatum date either, if the master had said anything about finances, leaving, coming to her PTN would be so ecstatically over the moon she would have put it in a post surely?

jonty1970

Oh dear
You are and always will be, his bit on the side.
I don't think he will ever leave his wife and children, for you.
If it was a great love he feels for you, he would move heaven and earth to be with you.

It's not just his immediate family that he upsets. His wider family, friends and work mates will know. He may be afraid of their judgement.
They might think he is a nice man, not a lying, cheating, deceitful person!
Which is what he is, and so are you! You are just as bad, because you know he has a wife and children.

I think people need to stop being so nice to you. You have been treated really well on here, which has surprised me.
You are part of this sordid affair, no matter how you want to pretend it's a love story.
It's not.

If you end it and stop being his plaything and he will find another woman.
He could have another on the go now!

You know nothing of this man really, because you only see him once a fortnight.

Open your eyes and get some control over your life.

Or you will still be here in ten, twenty years and have nothing then, like you have now.

Errata

"Can an affair ever have a happy ending?"
It looks like this one hasn't even got a happy middle.

victory

The title as you say is contradictory because happy for PTN yes if he leaves his wife and children and pTN gets him but unhappy for all the other people...

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

And he abandoned his family, don't forget that bit.

We weren't talking about the emotional side of things. We were talking about finances. If you look back through what I posted on this thread weeks ago, you'll remember that he "abandoned" his wife into the arms of her boyfriend, who she then moved in, with her and the children, very quickly.

POPPYOSCAR

Hi Bogofbabe,
How are you?

Lotus-eater

Emmzi wrote: »

having slept on it - if you are going to be the msitress, be a demanding mistress.

jewellery. new car. exotic holiday. But mainly jewellry.

memories will fade, diamonds are forever. If you're going to do it, get milking it.

And that really expensive silk underwear that really rich blokes buy their bit on the sides.
Y'know the stuff, the ones you think should be bought for you, but you always get the Matalan stuff in a John Lewis bag

Margaret52129

purpletoenails wrote: »

Just a quick update.

Yes we are still in touch, in fact I met with him last week

I did try really hard to ignore him but ultimately found it too difficult. I have managed to pull away from him a bit emotionally, I'm trying to get on with my life and do things I want to do and not think about him so much. I have come to realise that I spend such a lot of time and energy thinking about him, that it is actually really exhausting me.

I have now set in my mind a final time limit - I'm unsure whether to tell him when that is, but to me it's non negotiable. If nothing has changed by then, I am going to just disappear from his life.

Dear PTN, how hard it must be to be the one to end it - your heart must be breaking in two, but you are just prolonging the pain. You must really love this guy, because no matter what anyone says/suggests you do, you are just pulled by the magnetism of him. You say yourself you are being exhausted by it all, so is there any chance of taking yourself off for a few days (with children or friends) without telling him?

You're now being extra hard on yourself because you say you've got your own timetable but are not letting him know, so, if he doesn't know and still contacts you, how will you be able to say no again? And how will you just disappear from his life? He has your telephone numbers, email and perhaps even your address, so that he can contact you anytime he wants.

The only way you can be sure he doesn't contact you is to tell him, loud and clear, that you no longer want him to do so. Painful as it may be for you do do this, he will only know not to get in touch is if you spell it out to him, and mean it. Sooner the better before you get too involved again.

My heart really does go out to you.

gratefulforhelp_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

And that really expensive silk underwear that really rich blokes buy their bit on the sides.
Y'know the stuff, the ones you think should be bought for you, but you always get the Matalan stuff in a John Lewis bag

Is THAT where DH gets it from???

nickyhutch wrote: »

We weren't talking about the emotional side of things. We were talking about finances. If you look back through what I posted on this thread weeks ago, you'll remember that he "abandoned" his wife into the arms of her boyfriend, who she then moved in, with her and the children, very quickly.

And the children lost having their Dad living with them.

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

And the children lost having their Dad living with them.

Yes, they did. Where did I say they didn't? We were discussing finances, and I pointed out that ot all men who leave do so and leave their wives penniless. The children are a different issue.