Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

victory

Emmzi wrote: »

I hope for your sake that is "tomorrow." If it ain't changed now, it won't change then. And I think you know that in your heart, and that he is a selfish, selfish man.

But tomorrow never comes;)

victory

purpletoenails wrote: »

Just a quick update.

Yes we are still in touch, in fact I met with him last week

I did try really hard to ignore him but ultimately found it too difficult. I have managed to pull away from him a bit emotionally, I'm trying to get on with my life and do things I want to do and not think about him so much. I have come to realise that I spend such a lot of time and energy thinking about him, that it is actually really exhausting me.

I have now set in my mind a final time limit - I'm unsure whether to tell him when that is, but to me it's non negotiable. If nothing has changed by then, I am going to just disappear from his life.

You must have wanted this to happen so it happened, he can play any tune now because he has you, his wife, his kids, happy days but not for you, if you are unable to do it now you will not be able to whenever the final time limit comes.

You will allow it to come and go in your mind and if you have not told anyone you will not have to feel bad you let it go, set another one and on this will go, in the meantime the only thing you are doing is kidding yourself and causing more pain, so much more pain you are going to wish that you had stopped it in its tracks a while ago because believe me this is just the start of so much more....

Wickedkitten

purpletoenails wrote: »

Just a quick update.

Yes we are still in touch, in fact I met with him last week

I did try really hard to ignore him but ultimately found it too difficult. I have managed to pull away from him a bit emotionally, I'm trying to get on with my life and do things I want to do and not think about him so much. I have come to realise that I spend such a lot of time and energy thinking about him, that it is actually really exhausting me.

I have now set in my mind a final time limit - I'm unsure whether to tell him when that is, but to me it's non negotiable. If nothing has changed by then, I am going to just disappear from his life.

It's been over two and a half years since you first started dating him, over two months since you told him you were unhappy and over two weeks since you first told him to sling his hook. He's had all the time in the world to have left his wife if he really loves you that much and the fact he hasn't should tell you something.

The fact that you haven't stuck to your own ultimatum and are still putting it off should tell you something because it damn sure is telling him something.

Wickedkitten

victory wrote: »

But tomorrow never comes;)

It never dies either

victory

They say things like 'you can't see the woods for the trees' or 'treat unto others how you want to be treated' (if your children came to you with this situation, as a mother you would say stop, turn around, walk away, don't look back for your own good, no good would come of it)

or 'once you are in it look at the bigger picture' but you can't. you reason, you hear, you probably understand, but the fantasist takes over, the romance, the imagination, reality is so boring.

I agree with fag ash lil and moneymaker he is going to be so kind to you, can you see the flowers he will send to you? Can you see yourself smiling he remembered your favourite song? Or your perfume and sent you a bottle? What about that favourite walk or restaurant or poem or saying? He will try to recreate it all for you and you are going to be on cloud nine.......

Until he goes home.

victory

Wickedkitten wrote: »

It never dies either

True:D...........................

Bogof_Babe

I think PTN only ever wanted to read posts that told her yes she would get her happy ending, and he would one day be hers. She must have been somewhat taken aback with the replies she did get, mostly telling her she was unlikely ever to seduce him away from his wife and family, and was only prolonging her own agony.

Even now, she is only going through the motions of agreeing with us that she needs to call a halt, because deep in her heart she still thinks it's only a matter of time, and if she continues to do what she's doing he will somehow magically "see the light" one day and rush to her arms for good.

PTN I know you won't like reading this, but you are deluding yourself bigtime, and it WILL end in tears. Probably not once, but every time you allow yourself the indulgence of contacting him. You must feel so very empty when he walks or drives away after your "dates".

Is it really worth it? Really?

CH27

purpletoenails wrote: »

Just a quick update.

Yes we are still in touch, in fact I met with him last week

I did try really hard to ignore him but ultimately found it too difficult. I have managed to pull away from him a bit emotionally, I'm trying to get on with my life and do things I want to do and not think about him so much. I have come to realise that I spend such a lot of time and energy thinking about him, that it is actually really exhausting me.

I have now set in my mind a final time limit - I'm unsure whether to tell him when that is, but to me it's non negotiable. If nothing has changed by then, I am going to just disappear from his life.

You silly, silly moo! You'd done the hard bit by breaking contact. Now you are going to have to do it all over again.

gonzo127

oh PTN, i think i am feeling as disappointed as everyone else whos been following this thread as i was really pleased you had managed to get the courage to break contact from him and i really hoped you had realised that you deserve sooo much more than this.

i think the only thing i would say now is never drop your knickers for him again until he has left his wife, which to be honest will never happen

Lotus-eater

CH27 wrote: »

You silly, silly moo! You'd done the hard bit by breaking contact. Now you are going to have to do it all over again.

Oh dear, it's a bit of a disaster, isn't it.

I don't think I could add much to the words already written following PTN's last post.

You seem to come over PTN's, as someone with common sense, but if this thread is real, you are really letting yourself down.