Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

cheepskate_2

purpletoenails wrote: »

Hi all,


I have been having a relationship with a married man for some time now and I'm starting to get fed up with the situation and wonder if this is all it's ever going to be. How likely is it that a married man would leave his wife for the 'other woman', How do I know if he's serious about me or just toying with me? I know he does love me, but that's not always enough is it?


PT x

At least you have got an answer to your original question , but i see this thread lasting

Kay_Peel

He's wearing you down, down, down.

Isn't he a clever boy! Give him a ring when he's at home watching TV with his wife and children, planning their christmas and next year's holiday. I'm sure he'd really love to hear from you in the middle of his real life.

victory

purpletoenails wrote: »

I feel that some people are getting slightly exasperated with me, and I can understand why.

I am not sure it is that, they can just see that you were happy to an extent while you were with him but not happy enough to just have a bit of him so then came the big talk and what to do, then you ended it and went down and now he is bringing you even more down with keeping in touch and trying to reel you back in but on his terms, still with his wife and kids, still the same so you have gone through all that and instead of coming out the other side, eventually stronger, happier and free to look for a 100% committed to you man that loves you and only you, with all of us cheering you on.... you are so hurting yourself it is difficult to see why?

Bubby

purpletoenails wrote: »

Don't normally log in while I'm at work, but just thought I'd pop on quickly as theres no one in the office at the moment.

Thank you for all your comments

I feel that some people are getting slightly exasperated with me, and I can understand why.


I won't deny that I'm finding it very difficult to break away. If there had been a big row, or he'd done something to really upset me then it would be much easier as the hurt and indignation would keep me going. As it is, things were going along as they always had been, it was the situation that was making me feel so discontent, not him, and the thought of never seeing him or hearing from him again makes me feel quite lost. I am convinced that had circumstances been different then we would be happily together now.

I know that to get over him I will need to completely break away, cut all ties, delete him from my life. It's a bit like pulling off a plaster I suppose, the slower you do it, the more it hurts, and for longer. I feel at the moment like I have just lifted the corners a bit, to gauge how sticky it is, to see how easy it's going to be to pull off, and found it well and truly stuck. But I am pulling at the edges, and just trying to pluck up the courage to do the final rip!

He isn't a plaster he is a parasite:rotfl:I know you don't think so but you are blinded by your feelings (haven't we all had relationships like that)

The only way to get over him is to grieve for the relationship and put distance between you. He knows that you have put up with a "bit" of him for so long that he can try and wear you down by contacting you and promising you that things will change but that it is difficult because of xyz. He is trying to make you doubt your decision by displaying his love for you in continually contacting you and showing you that he loves you so much that he can't let you go. If you could look at it from another prospective he says that he doesn't love his wife but he is unable to let her go either......

BangorJane

PTN, thought I should post as have been reading through this for ages....was watching a film last night which reminded me completely of your situation:

He's.Just.Not.That.Into.You

Methinks you would rather have the drama than have nothing.

Seriously. Change all your numbers - who cares what you have to tell friends/family as to why? People change their phone numbers all the time and it's zero inconvenience for other people to contact you - just text them your new number!

You need to stop this now- this dementor will leave you a husk of a woman, and you are giving him permission to do so.:(

victory

I love that film watched it too:D I hate the American fide bit at the end where he suddenly realises he is in love and stops being so cynical about it all and runs off to tell her, very sickly sweet (OH said 'is this film ever going to end?':rotfl::rotfl:)

Lotus-eater

I saw it was on the telly, but the write up put me off. Romcom about, blah blah....... lost me by that time.
I'd be with your OH

deb68_2

Happy ending No Not for his wife! and definatly his kids or for you,
you deserve better than that low life dont let him grind you down, you are the strong one in all of this.
hes a ....Knob
keep strong smile let all his crap go over your head
xx

jonty1970

Do you want to remain his "bit on the side" forever?

He won't leave his wife, unless she finds out and throws him out!

He is a liar and a cheat and I can't see why any woman would want him.

Get a grip woman and change your number!

Cut the dead wood out of your life!

He gives you nothing!

essexgirly

Hi Purple Toe Nails, just wondered how you have been and have there been any developments?