Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

lostinrates

victory wrote: »

This made me laugh because my mum used to say when she saw progs on the tele about prostitution etc she would say 'if you are going to be a hooker my dear, make sure you are a fur coat, diamonds, no knicker wearing, travelling around the world high class hooker':rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM IS THIS IN REFERENCE TO YOU PTN , just something my mum said that is all:D

On eof my dearest friends (actually the one who went on to have affairs who I spoke about forever ago on this thread) once was telling her father while we were on a dog walk that she wasn't interested in any one nouveau riche and asked me what I thought. I replied better nouveau riche than no riche at all. Its as easy to love a rich man as a poor one.

I must tell dh that. And ask him where my matalan knickers are. I don't think he's ever bought me underwear.

Lotus-eater

lostinrates wrote: »

I don't think he's ever bought me underwear.

Tut tut

He doesn't deserve a woman of your calibre :A

Even I've just bought my OH a sexy body thingy for her birthday, she doesn't know yet, but she's getting married in it as well

Pollycat

I was going to post that PTN seems to have gone right back to where she was a few months ago when she first started this thread.

But, on reflection, I think she's in an even weaker position because she told her lover that she's not happy with the situation and (sort-of) gave him an ultimatum, then ended the affair herself but then she didn'y stick to her guns but instead has let him slink back into her life.

He's got his cake and is still eating it.

PTN, I think you've made a very big mistake.
As for the original question, I'd be very surprised if the happy ending comes your way.

FatVonD

Ugh, worst possible outcome, so his poor wife still continue sharing a bed with her husband when he's just come straight from yours.

I've asked several times, you say you'd kick him to the kerb if he has a second mistress, why exactly do you think you have the right to deny his wife the right to make the same choice for herself?

I think he's made it perfectly clear he's never going to leave his wife, in fact I think this recent break probably came about as a result of him putting it into words, either directly or via his excuses why he couldn't leave, that it was never going to happen.

Get out now with some self respect intact.

poet123

A couple of stories from acquaintances spring to mind here. One I was chatting to the other week has been in this position on and off for 35 years with the same guy...first the kids were too young, then his wife lost her parents, then she fell ill, then the kids needed support through uni, then one got pregnant and she and the child came home. Then, eventually, the wife found out about her and threw him out, he went to a bedsit and hated it so he effected a reconciliation and finished with my friend. After a couple of years he re contacted her, and so it began again...eventually he got divorced, but still would not introduce her to his children, now he is much older and is impotent due to prostate issues he has just asked can he move in with her....I think he sees her as his future nurse. 35 years wasted waiting for his call, christmas and birthdays missed or celebrated as and when he could get away.

Second one, very "respectable" professional well known in our town, string of affairs over the years, wife worshipped him, one main mistress to whom he regularly returned, wife dies suddenly, no obstacle now to main mistress except his children! He takes up with her again in secret, suddenly he becomes aware that there is talk that this is happening and worse that he was not the good husband he purported to be when the wife was alive, he values the facade of his good reputation and unceremoniously dumps old mistress. Fast forward a few months and he meets a new woman who is introduced to family and friends from the off and the mistress is left wondering why she allowed the hole in the corner relationship to go on so long.

These really are both true stories. Don't let one of them describe you PTN.

Money_maker

poet123 wrote: »

on and off for 35 years with the same guy...first the kids were too young, then his wife lost her parents, then she fell ill, then the kids needed support through uni, then one got pregnant and she and the child came home

Exactly the sort of excuses that he can use in the future. Even better, he can make them up to use at sticky times as PTN doesn't know the wife.

But 35 years - how do you try to come to terms with wasting most of your life like that and how often do we wish we could buy time.

lostinrates

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Tut tut

He doesn't deserve a woman of your calibre :A

Even I've just bought my OH a sexy body thingy for her birthday, she doesn't know yet, but she's getting married in it as well

Oh, congratulations. Are you ''eloping'' have you decided? I don't deserve dh though, not the otherway round. He's only moderately into knickers. He does have a weird thing for roll neck fluffy sweaters though. I think he likes to know that ''the assets'' are being kept warm

Bogof_Babe

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Hi Bogofbabe,
How are you?

I'll stick with "cautiously optimistic" for the moment. Thanks for asking .

Bogof_Babe

lostinrates wrote: »

He's only moderately into knickers.

There really is no answer to that! :eek: :rotfl:

neverdespairgirl

lostinrates wrote: »

But neither, I'm afraid, can I consider a knowing partner innocent of causing hurt to others. An unknowing one absoltely, but PTN has thought this through and decided her/his feelings and justifications are more important to her than those of his children. I'm so sorry PTN, I have grown to like what we know of you from this thread, but I can't help thinking less of you from this behaviour. I still wish you well.

I agree with you completely - and very well put.