Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

neverdespairgirl

purpletoenails wrote: »

I know that he loves me and cares for me, and that he also understands why I've done this.

For me, love is about actions as much as feelings.

willow_loulou

PTN - Im sorry you are so sad, I hope that both of you can move on and find real happiness now. You made a tough choice but I know you will feel it was the right one as I dont think you would have given him up if you were not ready too as I can see how much he meant to you. And thank you for making me see the other side to the issue its been an eye opener x

gratefulforhelp_2

Wondering how you are?

victory

Yes me too, it can't be easy for you but we are here to help

euronorris

Well done for taking the step and freeing yourself from this, so that you can move on and find someone who deserves you.

Ending a relationship with someone you care deeply for, no matter the circumstances, is always hard. That's understandable. But it does get better with time, I promise.

In the meantime, might I suggest indulging in some eye candy TV watching. Supernatural is full of eye candy, and may take your mind of this guy for a while, inbetween the other stuff you have to keep you busy.

purpletoenails

I'm not too bad thank you

Just feel utterly exhausted by it all really, I think I could happily sleep for 24 hours non stop!

He is still sending me messages. I told him it was confusing me when he does this and he said he was confused too. When I said that surely me being out of the picture would stop him being confused, he said no it doesn't and that he would 'sort it'. But I've no idea what he meant by that. He says he is thinking about coming down to see me this weekend! So far I am managing to not cave in, but it's tricky

I like the eye candy idea, will have to flick through my daughter's DVDs and see if there's anything there worth an ogle

Emmzi

Keep saying no. If he is ever a free man, he may come back. But only if you are still free.

Time to get on with life and everything that is waiting for you!

xx

SaLoGo

purpletoenails wrote: »

I like the eye candy idea, will have to flick through my daughter's DVDs and see if there's anything there worth an ogle

Try Grey's Anatomy.... McDreamy & McSteamy mmmmmmm

Cheered me up no end after ex left!!

Oooh and Prison Break too hehe (I could go on but I won't lol)

SaLoGo

Emmzi wrote: »

Keep saying no. If he is ever a free man, he may come back. But only if you are still free.xx

That reminded me of that [STRIKE]saying[/STRIKE] cliche off Indecent Proposal... if you love someone let them go. If they come back they are yours forever, if they don't then they were never yours. Or something along them lines!

I try avoiding the cliches... heard too many of them when my ex left!!!

lostinrates

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm not too bad thank you

Just feel utterly exhausted by it all really, I think I could happily sleep for 24 hours non stop!

He is still sending me messages. I told him it was confusing me when he does this and he said he was confused too. When I said that surely me being out of the picture would stop him being confused, he said no it doesn't and that he would 'sort it'. But I've no idea what he meant by that. He says he is thinking about coming down to see me this weekend! So far I am managing to not cave in, but it's tricky

I like the eye candy idea, will have to flick through my daughter's DVDs and see if there's anything there worth an ogle

PTN, this is not fair on you...have you said it that simply?

If he were going to ''sort it'' it wouldn't involve coming to see you, it would involve seeing his wife and telling her he wants to separate. If you see him and keep taking and responding to messages you are prolonguing the acute period of pain and unable to move forward into the more chronic mourning for the realtionship and eventually move on. He is also prolonguing the period of time he is under the impression he doesn't have to make a decision.

It seems to me the next place for this to go if he wants it to is for him to say ''he'll leave his wife for you'' which puts blame for that on YOU. He needs to sort that out independantly of you, be man and take his portion of blame for the disolving of that situation BEFORE coming back to you,. otherwise when you have disharmony of your own...which happens in most relationships at some time...is he will say ''I left my family for you...''. what is ''confused'' for example...either he still loves his wife or not...confused is playing for time and avoiding honest evalution. And NOT your problem, you are no longer confused about what is right for you...its someon with no strings...until that is true of him I think you should ask him to stop messaging you.

It would be lovely for you if he wants to be with you, but this is unfair unfair unfair still to everyone involved.

edit: ptn, do you feel he is putting your needs first atm?