Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

purpletoenails

lostinrates wrote: »

edit: ptn, do you feel he is putting your needs first atm?

I'm not sure really, I don't think he's intentionally trying to upset me though.

Lotus-eater

lostinrates wrote: »

PTN, this is not fair on you

edit: ptn, do you feel he is putting your needs first atm?

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm not sure really, I don't think he's intentionally trying to upset me though.

He's not putting your needs first. He's acting like a pig tbh. He may not be trying to upset you, but that's because he can't think any further than me me me.

This is not fair on you and as I said before, he is acting very selfishly.

You said you want to break up and he should respect your decision, the fact he keeps contacting you to get it back as it was before, just shows how selfish he is.

Oh yes, I know there are mitigating circumstances, there always are. But not enough to show me that he isn't acting like the above.

Emmzi

I agree with lotus-eater.

Keep repeating until you believe it..

"I AM WORTH MORE. I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN SOMEONE WHO IS FREE TO BE WITH ME. I DO NOT WANT 10% OF A MAN AND 10% OF A RELATIONSHIP. I WOULD RATHER BE SINGLE AND FREE THAN TIED TO A MARRIED MAN. I AM GOING TO HAVE A GOOD AND HAPPY LIFE!"

lostinrates

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm not sure really, I don't think he's intentionally trying to upset me though.

PTN....you argiued some pages back you argued when it was queried that people would describe you as someone with self respect....that doesn't sound like what someone with respect for themself...or their adult friends/partners for that matter.

With people who you love...your kids...do you merely not try to upset them, or do you put what they need first? (whether or not its pleasant)? This man is not a child, he needs to consider what is best for the people he is involved with. For you atm that means respecting your very brave and honourable decision, for his family it means making his mind up.

neverdespairgirl

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm not sure really, I don't think he's intentionally trying to upset me though.

Well, golly-gosh, good for him.

Sounds as if the person he really loves is number one.

gonzo127

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm not too bad thank you

Just feel utterly exhausted by it all really, I think I could happily sleep for 24 hours non stop!

He is still sending me messages. I told him it was confusing me when he does this and he said he was confused too. When I said that surely me being out of the picture would stop him being confused, he said no it doesn't and that he would 'sort it'. But I've no idea what he meant by that. He says he is thinking about coming down to see me this weekend! So far I am managing to not cave in, but it's tricky

I like the eye candy idea, will have to flick through my daughter's DVDs and see if there's anything there worth an ogle

quick and easy translation to the highlighted,

i know you are having a hard time with this so if i confuse/make it more difficult for you, you will cave in and i can carry on having my cake and eating it at the same time, without having to actually make a choice

CH27

Stay strong PTN. He is playing mind games with you.

peachyprice

purpletoenails wrote: »

He says he is thinking about coming down to see me this weekend!

And you did say 'Don't bother, I don't want to see you' didn't you?

MrsAtobe

PTN, I've posted once before but been lurking for a long time.

I applaud you for taking back control of your life, and I do appreciate how hard that is. I know you don't want to change your mobile phone number, but please remember that it has an off button;). If your phone doesn't beep constantly when you have an unread message (as mine does, grrrrr), could I suggest that you assign a silent ring tone for both calls and messages from him? It was a tip given to me by Orange when I had finished with someone who wouldn't accept it. You can then deal with the messages when you feel like it, rather than reacting immediately.

Funny how mobile phones have 'trained' us to respond immediately. FWIW, I agree with CH27, I think he is now playing games. Hope the above has given you an idea of how not to play if you don't want to.

MrsAtobe

PTN, I've posted once before but been lurking for a long time.

I applaud you for taking back control of your life, and I do appreciate how hard that is. I know you don't want to change your mobile phone number, but please remember that it has an off button;). If your phone doesn't beep constantly when you have an unread message (as mine does, grrrrr), could I suggest that you assign a silent ring tone for both calls and messages from him? It was a tip given to me by Orange when I had finished with someone who wouldn't accept it. You can then deal with the messages when you feel like it, rather than reacting immediately.

Funny how mobile phones have 'trained' us to respond immediately. FWIW, I agree with CH27, I think he is now playing games. Hope the above has given you an idea of how not to play if you don't want to.