Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

lostinrates

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

(Different woman, same inappropriate behaviour ).

Come on, you're a lovely, bright woman, and deserve so much more for yourself.

:eek:
Bogof babe....were you responding to yourself there?

You have a lot of patience.

purpletoenails

Errata wrote: »

Messages? He couldn't be bothered to ring you and talk to you? Can he find any more ways to insult and humiliate you? Throw him back, let somebody else enjoy having him on the end of their line.

He did want to call me, but I've asked him not to for the time being.

peachyprice

purpletoenails wrote: »

He did want to call me, but I've asked him not to for the time being.

If you really mean that get your self a new sim and change your home number, then it's up to you to contact him again when you are ready.

purpletoenails

lostinrates wrote: »

well done for resisting, it must be very hard. But I'm so impressed you are putting this right and most importantly atm putting yourself forward.

It was expected he would try and contact (in fact I have to say I thought you'd speak to him and continue to put yourself through the wringer over this, and I'm so glad to be proven wrong!). I agree its not fair for him to put pressure on you....if he really cares now he'll let you move on and respect how hard this has been for you. I really hope he does care enough to let you move forward into what ever is next for you.

I know its early days, but what IS next? any exciting plans or ideas?

I know that he loves me and cares for me, and that he also understands why I've done this.

I'm having my hair done this week, and a night out with friends planned, and also a trip to the cinema, so relatively busy really.

Bogof_Babe

peachyprice wrote: »

If you really mean that get your self a new sim and change your home number, then it's up to you to contact him again when you are ready.

Nooooo..... why would she ever want to do that? :eek:

Agree about changing her numbers though. And block him on Facebook if you are friends on there.

peachyprice

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Nooooo..... why would she ever want to do that? :eek:

Well hopefully she won't! But she has left it open by telling him not to contact her 'for the time being'.

purpletoenails

peachyprice wrote: »

If you really mean that get your self a new sim and change your home number, then it's up to you to contact him again when you are ready.

I've had the same home number for 20 years and the same mobile number for over 10 years, so this I don't really feel this is an option.

lostinrates

have to say, I wouldn't be changing numbers if he was respecting my wish not to be called, and stopped messaging. PTNs friends and most importantly her kids, who don't know what's been going on, don't need to know.

fwiw, I do think moving forward and not getting in touch is the best plan. Not least PTN, to remain emotionally available in the future to somebody else, and when you meet that person, to give him a chance while not having a loved ex lover involved in your life in any way.

Bogof_Babe

lostinrates wrote: »

:eek:
Bogof babe....were you responding to yourself there?

You have a lot of patience.

Lol no - I probably over-reacted a bit yesterday. When we dropped our cat off at the cattery in the morning, as we were leaving he went to grab the lovely young woman who runs the place, and planted a kiss on her cheek! I was so embarrassed and I think she was too. She is married and must be about 30, maybe younger, while he is 65. Urgh. He did apologise profusely to me when he saw how I'd been upset by it, so I let it drop. Nervous about picking the cat up again though - what must she have thought? :eek:

However on the scale of things it probably wasn't all that serious, it's just that I'm still uber-sensitive after all the other stuff. Anyway we had a row, I stomped off and went to the flat by train, he followed later in the car (I was meant to be going with him in the car but as I had a train ticket anyway that was going to waste it wasn't really a big deal).

Sorry PTN, back to your situation...

MissMitch

No need to change your number PTN, you have already shown a great deal of strength by breaking it off in the first place, which must have been heartbreaking for you. I'm sure you can handle any messages & calls from him. Glad you're keeping yourself busy too...it helps to have stuff to look forward to.

I'm about 5 weeks down the road of breaking up with a man who I quite frankly love with all my heart & soul, the urge to text him has subsided totally now although I can't say I wouldn't be over the moon right now if he did call me!