Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

justmel

purpletoenails wrote: »

Thank you to everyone who has posted messages of encouragement, they are much appreciated.

I've been out and about a bit today, keeping busy, trying not to be too much of a misery.

You are allowed to feel hurt and upset PTN,even if the reality of the situation is that you are far better off without this man and this relationship the fact is that for you this meant an awful lot,you love him and have invested an awful lot of time in him,anyone would find it incredibly painful to let go of someone who had been such a big part of their life.

Now is the time to think of yourself,put yourself first and most importantly look after yourself xx

victory

Morning PTN hope you are ok.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Just wanted to echo other posters & wish you well PTN. You have come across as such a thoughtful, dignified & kind person, one who I would be glad to know if I met you in "real" life, & you deserve to share your life with a partner who will be there for you, whatever & whenever.

I hope you have plans for today - a long hot bath with something smelly from Lush & a large glass of wine (or several) followed by utter bo*****s on the telly sometimes helps me out.

There are a lot of people on this thread (posting & lurking) who would like to help you get through this if we can.

rockstar44

I'm so sorry things have turned out this way for you PTN! Hopefully though as time passes & you regain your strength you may come to see that this was your happy ending! I know it doesn't feel like it now! Good Luck & very many best wishes for the future!

victory

PTN you are thanking people so reading the posts,everything ok?

purpletoenails

I'm not too bad thank you. Had some messages from him Sunday and yesterday but nothing today so far. I just about managed to resist sending him a message this afternoon, but I was dying to!

Bogof_Babe

PTN... NO. Reclaim your life without the distraction of this guy. You haven't told us what happened but I can only imagine he said he still couldn't leave his wife, and wouldn't be able to for the foreseeable future?

It's frankly underhand of him if he is now putting the pressure on to you. I'd allow him ONE call (and it sounds like he has had that), to make sure you're okay, then pull down the emotional blind on that part of your life and move on.

Wives (even ones who are "allegedly" not so great) do have a mega pull on their husband, especially after several years. Despite all my concerns, it's me whose kitchen (in our flat) he spent today decorating, and me he begged to stay with him when I threatened to go for good after yet another unfortunate incident yesterday morning. (Different woman, same inappropriate behaviour ).

Come on, you're a lovely, bright woman, and deserve so much more for yourself.

Errata

Messages? He couldn't be bothered to ring you and talk to you? Can he find any more ways to insult and humiliate you? Throw him back, let somebody else enjoy having him on the end of their line.

lostinrates

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm not too bad thank you. Had some messages from him Sunday and yesterday but nothing today so far. I just about managed to resist sending him a message this afternoon, but I was dying to!

well done for resisting, it must be very hard. But I'm so impressed you are putting this right and most importantly atm putting yourself forward.

It was expected he would try and contact (in fact I have to say I thought you'd speak to him and continue to put yourself through the wringer over this, and I'm so glad to be proven wrong!). I agree its not fair for him to put pressure on you....if he really cares now he'll let you move on and respect how hard this has been for you. I really hope he does care enough to let you move forward into what ever is next for you.

I know its early days, but what IS next? any exciting plans or ideas?

purpletoenails

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

PTN... NO. Reclaim your life without the distraction of this guy. You haven't told us what happened but I can only imagine he said he still couldn't leave his wife, and wouldn't be able to for the foreseeable future?

No, I didn't ask him to, just pretty much told him it was over.