Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Lotus-eater

We've never argued over children, or money.

And I think you have to trust the other person in a relationship 100%, otherwise it's not much of a relationship.

victory

Bringing it back to affairs, one of my best friends went out with a lad when they were at school together, it lasted 3 years and drifted off and life went their seperate ways, thanks to friends reunited they found each other again by then both married, both with 2 kids and met up secretly, they instantly fell back in love, it was passionate, they agreed they had lost 'the one' years previous and could not spend another minute apart, this was it, the birds were singing, neither felt like that with their respective partners, all they had to do was tell them , tell the kids and move out and in together to spend the rest of their lives in blissfull happiness....

When it came to it, before they had a chance to say anything, they were discovered, the truth was out and his wife threatened to commit suicide, his kids cried like babies, her husband sobbed like never seen before, so now the devastation bomb had gone off, you would think that was the worst part and now they could be together forever.

The man through guilt and love of his children never found the courage to leave, his wife accepted she was not the love of his life but was prepared to take whatever she could to keep him, the kids ended up failing their exams and moved out. They barely speak.

The wife's husband never truly recovered but wanted her so, he does anything asked .

The sweethearts are without their 'one and only love' and full of regret, guilt, now live with the original partners whom they have destroyed.

So, rather than having an affair and destroying everything and everyone, they had the affair, got found out and completely destroyed everything and themselves also.

4 adults, 4 kids, hurt for life.

poet123

FatVonD wrote: »

Lots of people (on both sides of the argument) have been very rude and aggressive in their posts and I think it would be a great shame (not to mention convenient) to dismiss someone's opinion because of their age and/or aspergers.

I don't think anyone has dismissed her argument, rather they have said it was presented unnecessarily aggressively, whether through the zeal of youth or through the issue of her Aspergers. A bit of both I suspect!

POPPYOSCAR

Victory, do you not think that this still would have been the outcome if the two had not had an affair and simply left their respective families because they were not happy?

POPPYOSCAR

I would agree that children can put a strain on a relationship.

They are hard work - great - but still hard work. When they are very young it can leave you feeling very tired and this in itself can lead to arguments. Most people do work through this though.

I would say probably the only area where myself and the OH do disagree is over the children - but we always manage to work through this as well.

gratefulforhelp_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

And I think you have to trust the other person in a relationship 100%, otherwise it's not much of a relationship.

Easy to say but so much harder to do.

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I would agree that children can put a strain on a relationship.

They are hard work - great - but still hard work. When they are very young it can leave you feeling very tired and this in itself can lead to arguments. Most people do work through this though.

I would say probably the only area where myself and the OH do disagree is over the children - but we always manage to work through this as well.

Glad you said this, I don't know anyone else with a baby at the moment and I forget...I keep thinking I shouldn't be this tired.

POPPYOSCAR

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Easy to say but so much harder to do.



Glad you said this, I don't know anyone else with a baby at the moment and I forget...I keep thinking I shouldn't be this tired.

Sounds quite normal to me!

I can remember when my children were young, standing in the middle of the kitchen and saying to myself if I don't sit down now, I will fall down, and I sat down there and then on the kitchen floor!!!!!!

I know someone with a young baby at the moment, and she and her OH are always having stupid and petty little arguments, only because they are both so tired - but they do recognize this, which helps.

The good thing is, it does get better!

catkins

Lotus-eater wrote: »

We've never argued over children, or money.

And I think you have to trust the other person in a relationship 100%, otherwise it's not much of a relationship.

I totally agree. I trust my OH 100% as he does me, but I have been told I am stupid, gullible, naive etc etc.

POPPYOSCAR

catkins wrote: »

I totally agree. I trust my OH 100% as he does me, but I have been told I am stupid, gullible, naive etc etc.

I also trust my OH 100% and I don't think he would have an affair in a million years - but I also always say 'never say never'.

Errata

Of course people trust those they are married or partnered to. Why would anyone stay with someone they didn't trust? One trusts, and hopes that one's trust will never be betrayed - it's called life.