Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

POPPYOSCAR

lostinrates wrote: »

Although I entirely understand, and hope I evidenced that this morning, I think its a shame to switch of entirely from distasteful posts or preachy sounding ones. I am aware I often sound..um...a bit pompous, but somewhere in the pomp of my posts, for the patient, I hope there is something obliquely useful or thought provoking.

I would not say I switch off entirely, and I do read every post.But the way a post comes across to me does make a huge difference in how I
view what is being said - If you see what I mean!

gratefulforhelp_2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I presume you are referring to my post when you say this.

Not only yours, there have been A LOT of posts accusing those who have had relationships damaged by affairs of being "bitter" as though it's a grave personality flaw.

While I agree it's not a constructive approach, and that it damages only oneself, we have to accept that it's often a side effect of being terribly hurt.

POPPYOSCAR

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Not only yours, there have been A LOT of posts accusing those who have had relationships damaged by affairs of being "bitter" as though it's a grave personality flaw.

While I agree it's not a constructive approach, and that it damages only oneself, we have to accept that it's often a side effect of being terribly hurt.

But only if you let it.

VestanPance

FatVonD wrote: »

Vestan Prince/Radio, I had no idea you were both so young!

VestanPrince may be young, I'm pushing 40.

gratefulforhelp_2

lostinrates wrote: »

We don't , and can't, have kids either. Both of us would have quite liked them but look on the postitive side. Not having kids means we don't ever hyave to grow up properly, there is no one to whom to set an example about what to eat, how to sleep, etc etc. We have pets who get spoken to in baby language, and who don't need school fees or university fees. I think it keeps one a bit ''childish''.

And no-one smears poo everywhere then chucks a gigantic hour-long tantrum when you have friends visiting:eek:

POPPYOSCAR

lostinrates wrote: »

I think that's a bit of a (see this is where I'm struggling for a word.....ether and um...thing that you get if you get two pieces of evidence to get a false conclusion which is clear 9if you put other things in the picture...grrrrrrr)

because people often have children when the relationship stops working how it used to, (i.e. it could start struggling then anyway) because they think its time to grow up, or sometimes even to fix things.

Not having children can also cause problems, if one in the partnership wants them a bit. And affairs with ''infertility'' cruelly used as a justification must be heartbreaking and soul destroying.


We don't , and can't, have kids either. Both of us would have quite liked them but look on the postitive side. Not having kids means we don't ever hyave to grow up properly, there is no one to whom to set an example about what to eat, how to sleep, etc etc. We have pets who get spoken to in baby language, and who don't need school fees or university fees. I think it keeps one a bit ''childish''.

I think there is an obvious argument for both having and not having kids.

What works for the couple concerned is all that matters.

(I must admit there have been times when I have wondered why did we!!!!!!!!!!):)

gratefulforhelp_2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

[/B]But only if you let it.

We all have a set time scale to get over relationships then?

It's ok for the cuckold to be devastated for a fortnight, but after that time (or any other fixed time) they're just wallowing?

That's very harsh.

Marisco

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

On an open internet forum?

When the question was "can an affair ever have a happy ending?" ?

It's really hard to answer the question without getting into the rights and wrongs, as we have seen, unless we simply say

"yes" or "no".

Which is exactly what I said quite a few pages back, I just wrote "yes" (with a few full stops as they won't let you post short answers!!!:)) Yes, of course everyone is entitled to an opinion, that's what a discussion forum is about. It's just when they put their views across as "my way or no way" that things get hairy. Who is to say whose "moral code" is right? You might not believe in abortion, I happen to think it's up to the woman concerned, whose has the right to say any of us is right or wrong IYSWIM. I believe in it, you don't, (don't know if you do or not, but for the sake of argument) neither has the right to say we are in the right with no question. That does not mean to say you are any more moral than me! It just means we have differing viewpoints.

lostinrates

rachbc wrote: »

OT but I have to say LIR I find your posts very eloquent and would never have guessed!

Thank you. Sometimes its more obvious than others. When I'm tired, stressed, ill/sore or simply doing a lot. Some of my posts are pure gobbledigook.:o:o:o I joined MSE because the language therapy I was dpoing was very dry and isolating and I at times, became very ..hermit-like...because I was embarrassed and also ill and not able to get around physically etc. MSE offered the same stuff (language use) but also communication and because I don't think so much about ''using langauge'' its much more effective in fact, than the stuff I used to do. I used to ONLY post on the debate board, mainly because they knew me and are very kind and supportive and just ignore it when I'm not clear (some have become valued friends). I'm a LOT better now, and clearer, so I go more places on the forum.

Anyway PTN, sorry to digress.

lostinrates

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

And no-one smears poo everywhere then chucks a gigantic hour-long tantrum when you have friends visiting:eek:

hmm...read the bit where we have pets.