Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Reggie256

erdd2 wrote: »

Contradiction in multiple :eek:

Empathy would be more appropriate and helpful as would clarity

What an arrogant, condescending person you are! I have no time for self-appointed moderators. I won't dignify any more of your conceited posts with an answer - go and sneer at someone else with your messageboard police routine.

Needless to say, so far as the actual thread subject is concerned, I do hope that PTN manages to resolve this matter one way or another.

victory

The above poster came into my thread and was equally strong and painfull to read, my OH says he is either a teenager who has no manners and take on life or a very mean and careless person, either way he upsets.

jonty1970

quick bump for any news!
Hope things go well for you. You don't sound like the typical "other woman" I have heard some tales from my friends, of the other woman turning up at Christmas, childrens' parties etc, to make him break up with the wife.
One turned up with her mobile with naked pics of my friend's hubby and she shouted that she was pregnant so everyone got a free show!

my opinion is you should do the breaking up - but then again, I am like most people, good for giving advice, but no good at taking it.

mountainofdebt

purpletoenails wrote: »

I don't quite see it like that - I'm not telling him if he doesn't do x, y, or z then I'm going to break things off. I just want to know where he sees our relationship going, if anywhere. This will then enable me to make a decision as to whether I'm going to stick around or not.

So what if he says PTN I've missed you and want to be with you but we need to plan this properly ?

What happens if for the next 6 months he's never in the mood / its never the right time to discuss how he tells his wife / children?

As far as I can see it all he has to do is tell you what you want to hear to keep you quiet and you'll go along with it becuase you'll be too scared of pressuring him and you'll be no further forward apart from being strung along for a further six months

purpletoenails

jonty1970 wrote: »

quick bump for any news!
Hope things go well for you. You don't sound like the typical "other woman" I have heard some tales from my friends, of the other woman turning up at Christmas, childrens' parties etc, to make him break up with the wife.
One turned up with her mobile with naked pics of my friend's hubby and she shouted that she was pregnant so everyone got a free show!

my opinion is you should do the breaking up - but then again, I am like most people, good for giving advice, but no good at taking it.

I have no intention of doing any of the above, I really don't understand why people would do such things!!

mountainofdebt wrote: »

So what if he says PTN I've missed you and want to be with you but we need to plan this properly ?

What happens if for the next 6 months he's never in the mood / its never the right time to discuss how he tells his wife / children?

As far as I can see it all he has to do is tell you what you want to hear to keep you quiet and you'll go along with it becuase you'll be too scared of pressuring him and you'll be no further forward apart from being strung along for a further six months

He won't be stringing me along, I won't let him. He knows me better than to try and tell me what I want to hear, because unless it's backed up by actions then it means nothing. If I make the decision to walk away then I will do it, and probably won't look back.

Today I just wish I could run away from it all. Everything would be so much simpler if I hadn't met him in the first place.

Bubby

I can't help but only feel sorry for one person in this situation..............his wife. I hope she finds out and takes him for every penny it is disgusting behaviour to sneak around behind someone elses back and quite frankly if he had a backbone or an inch of decency about him he wouldn't do it. This isn't aimed at you ptn, if it hadn't been you it would have been someone else

purpletoenails

Bubby wrote: »

This isn't aimed at you ptn, if it hadn't been you it would have been someone else

I understand what you are saying but I don't believe that he was looking to have an affair when we met, and neither am I convinced that he will go on to have another one if I walk away.

lostinrates

purpletoenails wrote: »

He won't be stringing me along, I won't let him. He knows me better than to try and tell me what I want to hear, because unless it's backed up by actions then it means nothing. If I make the decision to walk away then I will do it, and probably won't look back.

Today I just wish I could run away from it all. Everything would be so much simpler if I hadn't met him in the first place.

I'm sorry you feel wretched today. Have you got anything fun you can be doing?

re stringing along, I feel its arguable you already have been strung a long a bit....even if unintentionally. If someone who loved you was not ''stringing you along'' or was puttig your needs first they wouldn't be encouraging you (even passively)to put life ''on hold'' for them when they cannot/do not express wish long term to commit to you.

In any case...you've determind to not make a decision til you speak to him so, although that would not be my choice, in attempt to support you in yours can I suggest filling time with good things relating to your interts/kids/other social life until then? It will be helpful for you whateer happens. e.g. any chance of going out somehere...meal/cinema whatever with friends or your dauhter?

purpletoenails

Yes I think that I need to find some things to keep myself occupied. Tonight isn't looking too promising but there are a few things going on tomorrow and Sunday that I can do, weather permitting

lostinrates

You'll have to enjoy the very special companionship of...yourself. (BTW...this is one of the reasons this isn't fair on you or the wife.).


Alone doesn't mean unpromising btw. Tonight my dh is going out without me for a short while, which is really v. rare at weekends (I'm invited but tonight I'm not able to walk v. well so don't want to go) but I'm going to put foot cream on and the radio and have a good sing and later watch a film (but he might be back by then). Watching films alone is good as you don't have to rewind to settle disagareements about the mumurred line which you think said one thing and he thinks said another:D

Have a nice evening.