Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

debbieblueeyes

been reading a few of these posts and thought id tell you my experience here goes: I was married to to a gambler and a drunk,he got me into a lot of debt which im still paying for anyway i had an affair with a married man who also said he was not happy with his wife and he said he was going to leave her,i left my husband in the january(not to be with the other man)i knew our marriage was over months before i left.i fell pregnant with my new man who still hadnt left his wife,anyway he told his wife about me and stopped phoning and coming round,he wouldnt come to the scans or the classes(went on my own),wouldnt answer my txts or calls,he finally sent me a txt but it was from another number,in the november i was 2 weeks overdue and told him i was going in2 hospital to have our baby,he didnt want to know,nearly lost my son(had to be resusetated),had him on the tues and he was in baby unit,he finally came to the hospital to see me n baby but he wouldnt go in2 the b-unit so i showed him a photo of his baby,he just made some excuse to leave.Exactly 1 week after my son was born i received a call that my lover had been killed in a car crash,later on i found out he had been cheating on his wife n me with another woman.What a fool i was,Anyway i moved off the isle of man and came back over here met an amazing man who looks after me and my son and he has 3 boys,ive never been so happy,we got married in 2008.IVE certainly learnt my lesson.:)

Reggie256

Interesting thread, and I’ve admittedly not managed to read all 90+ pages.

Firstly, kudos to Purpletoenails for having the courage to post this thread.

Secondly - the old adage about a man (or woman – why is this occurrence supposedly exclusive to males?) who has cheated being guaranteed to do so again. I abhor such sweeping generalisations.

Anyway – Purpletoenails – I wouldn’t presume to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, it’s not my place. It’s YOUR life and only you can decide which path to take. For what it’s worth, from reading your posts throughout this thread, you seem like a really nice person and I’d be proud to know you.

purpletoenails

jonty1970 wrote: »

Some men like " a bit on the side" because it's cheaper than a prostitute or a hotel.

Ouch!! I don't think this is the case with him as 80% of the time when we meet we don't have the opportunity to have sex.

cheepskate wrote: »

Cleaner???? At least prostitutes get checked over occasionally, and a lot will insist on a condom.

I imagine most normal women get checked over occasionally and also insist on using a condom.

Reggie256 wrote: »

Interesting thread, and I’ve admittedly not managed to read all 90+ pages.

Firstly, kudos to Purpletoenails for having the courage to post this thread.

Secondly - the old adage about a man (or woman – why is this occurrence supposedly exclusive to males?) who has cheated being guaranteed to do so again. I abhor such sweeping generalisations.

Anyway – Purpletoenails – I wouldn’t presume to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, it’s not my place. It’s YOUR life and only you can decide which path to take. For what it’s worth, from reading your posts throughout this thread, you seem like a really nice person and I’d be proud to know you.

Thank you

erdd2

cheepskate wrote: »

UUUGGGG, just the thought of bodily fluids being passed to me an hour after he had been doing the same with the wife.

And vice verse....double UUUUGGGG!

erdd2

Reggie256 wrote: »

Interesting thread, and I’ve admittedly not managed to read all 90+ pages........ For what it’s worth, from reading your posts throughout this thread, you seem like a really nice person and I’d be proud to know you.

????

Much of what you "raised" was promulgated

How are you today PTN?

Reggie256

erdd2 wrote: »

????

Much of what you "raised" was promulgated

How are you today PTN?

I fail to see how - I stated my opinion and make no claims that my opinion is an offical position on anything, or that it wasn't already common knowledge.

victory

ptn hang in there, I am sure people post first and think later;)

CH27

purpletoenails wrote: »

I do actually feel like I'm going a bit nuts already, yesterday kept finding myself filling up with tears every so often - luckily it was sunglasses weather!

The problem is, I can't really imagine not seeing him ever again. Most of the time relationships end because of something that happens, or because you fall out of love or whatever, but that wouldn't be the case here. It would be easier to end things if we had a big row or I were to lose interest, if that makes sense.

I don't know if his wife suspects anything. If they were already distant, then perhaps she wouldn't notice? Maybe she's choosing to ignore it because she's not really bothered as long as her other needs are being met? I honestly don't know.

I suspect that you know it's over & are grieving for your hopes & dreams for your future together.
I hope for your sake you can bring yourself to end it sooner rather later to save you more pain.

Bogof_Babe

CH27 wrote: »

I suspect that you know it's over & are grieving for your hopes & dreams for your future together.
I hope for your sake you can bring yourself to end it sooner rather later to save you more pain.

Another thing, if you do the finishing you get to leave with your dignity intact. If you give him the ultimatum and he chooses his wife, not only have you lost him, but you've also lost the moral high ground of taking control of your future.

erdd2

Reggie256 wrote: »

I fail to see how - I stated my opinion and make no claims that my opinion is an offical position on anything, or that it wasn't already common knowledge.

You fail to see how to what?

There was no inference that your opinion is anything. I quoted the contrast between your opening and closing points noting that those in between had been raised and promulgated...hence the ?????