Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

euronorris

Red Doe, the original question has also been answered many times, from many different angles. And, I believe that the OP has spoken to the guy in question, and has made a decision about how to deal with the situation.

TBH, I think this thread should be closed now.

Pollycat

euronorris wrote: »

Red Doe, the original question has also been answered many times, from many different angles. And, I believe that the OP has spoken to the guy in question, and has made a decision about how to deal with the situation.

TBH, I think this thread should be closed now.

I've not posted much on this thread but have been reading lots.

I thought the OP had asked her friend if he saw them having a future together as she was no longer content with the bit of him she currently has and he was going away (with his family) for 2 weeks and will decide during that time.
At the same time, the OP is also considering her future.

Have I missed something?

euronorris

Pollycat wrote: »

I've not posted much on this thread but have been reading lots.

I thought the OP had asked her friend if he saw them having a future together as she was no longer content with the bit of him she currently has and he was going away (with his family) for 2 weeks and will decide during that time.
At the same time, the OP is also considering her future.

Have I missed something?

No, that's how I understood it. But also, if he decides he can't leave his wife and family, I believe the OP will be (trying) to walk away from the relationship and move on. Hard as that will be.

But that's still a plan, no?

Pollycat

I think if the OP does post what the outcome is she will either:
be vilified as a home-wrecker, harlot or any of the terms already used about her
or
be subjected to smug, 'I told you so' or 'you deserve everything you've got' posts
depending on what happens.

FWIW, I wish her well.

I'm sure she didn't set out to 'snare' this guy and, imho, is less at fault than the married man whom she's seeing.

euronorris

I think you're right. She can no longer win, no matter the outcome.

But, I do wish her well, and hope that she can find happiness.

lostinrates

Pollycat wrote: »

I think if the OP does post what the outcome is she will either:
be vilified as a home-wrecker, harlot or any of the terms already used about her
or
be subjected to smug, 'I told you so' or 'you deserve everything you've got' posts
depending on what happens.

FWIW, I wish her well.

QUOTE]

I did say, some pages back I hope she doesn't tell us the outcome.

I think that mainly because of the above and the impact on her, and a small part too, because I don't think it does any of us any good, and potentially not good for gloaters here.

Bogof_Babe

Red doe a lot of people who have posted on here are still feeling hurt, or at least uncomfortable, as a result of their own partner having strayed. No good telling them to give the OP a break, it's still all too raw for some of us. We feel for the betrayed wife because we know from
our own experience how devastating this will inevitably be for her if it continues. Incidentally, I wonder if she thinks her marriage isn't up to much, or is it just him?

Yoghurt_Pot

you cant help it if you fall for someone other than OH (or in this case some elses) but you should never act on these feelings until you leave the other person (or they do) affairs only hurt people and it doesn't take much to say to OH that you like someone else

lostinrates

Red_Doe wrote: »

True enough. Sadly the original question seems to have been lost in the back and forth moral arguments over whether affairs are `right` or not.
Perhaps another thread on the morals of affairs would serve better, leaving this one for folks wanting to address the OP`s questions?

for many the morality is connected to the happiness, inextricably linked....e.g. I think for many the argument that you'be looking over him etc in the future is partly morality, partly happiness. Same argument is possible for pretty much all the ''right and wrongs'' points used IMO.

1sttimer_2

I'm not going to say anything about the last 1000+ posts, nor am I giving any opinion on what should/shouldn't be done/said, but read this thread.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3393334

it brings it home about what the children may feel once (if) they ever found out.