Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

nickyhutch

catkins wrote: »

No, that's why so many people have affairs, so many people do not work at their marriages, so many people have 2, 3, 4 or more marriages, so many children have their lives upset

And this affects you how? Me having been married twice, my OH twice, my Mum twice, my Dad 4 times, my ex 3 times - how does this affect you exactly?

VestanPance

nickyhutch wrote: »

And this affects you how? Me having been married twice, my OH twice, my Mum twice, my Dad 4 times, my ex 3 times - how does this affect you exactly?

Product of environment and attitude. Increased chance of metting/having a realtionship with someone of that attitude.

What are the chances you're lax attitude to marriage and the length of time you think you'll spent with a partner have been a product of what you witnessed from your parents?

VestanPance

nickyhutch wrote: »

That old chestnut. He "will" do the same? Absolutely definitely? My first husband left his wife for me and didn't cheat on me in 12 years. My second one has been here 8 years and hasn't.

Maybe you move on before they do. Breaking up one home wasn't enough for you?

You've done exactly the thing you argue against.

nickyhutch

gettingbackontrack wrote: »

I don't claim to be perfect (please refer me to the post in which I said that - or apologise).

You haven't said it outright, but it seeps into all your posts - your superior attitude implies that you are nearer perfect than OP. You may be in your opinion, and judging yourself by your own standards, and that's fine - it's what we do. But remember that people have different opinions and different standards.

beanymagoo

My Dad set up home with his mistress but only because my Mum found out and threw his stuff out so he went to live with her as he had no where else to go! My dads affair was the best thing that ever happened to my Mum as she was then given the chance to meet a wonferful man who knew how to treat a lady! Fast forward 25 years and my Dad is now married to his mistress but I know that there have been other mistresses and he has lost the love of his children and family.

nickyhutch

VestanPance wrote: »

Product of environment and attitude. Increased chance of metting/having a realtionship with someone of that attitude.

What are the chances you're lax attitude to marriage and the length of time you think you'll spent with a partner have been a product of what you witnessed from your parents?

But what is exactly wrong with my attitude to marriage? How does it affect you directly? Why are you so bothered that I don't have the same standards as you? My Mum's been married 30 years now, by the way.

nickyhutch

VestanPance wrote: »

Maybe you move on before they do. Breaking up one home wasn't enough for you?

You've done exactly the thing you argue against.

I didn't break up any home. My first husband had an affair with me because his relationship with his wife broke down because she aborted their child against his wishes, without his knowledge, after them telling everyone about it and making big plans. He was heartbroken and could not forgive her. The relationship broke down, understandably, I feel. He should have just left, but he didn't (he was human, not saintly).

What have I done that I argue against?

I've explained why I left my first husband, and it wasn't simply "moving on". I'm not going to say it yet again, but you can go back through the thread if you're so inclined.

VestanPance

nickyhutch wrote: »

But what is exactly wrong with my attitude to marriage?

Nobody should get married unless they think it's for life. You seem to think it's absurd that people could be partners for life, which makes a mockery of your marriage.

VestanPance

nickyhutch wrote: »

What have I done that I argue against?

I've explained why I left my first husband, and it wasn't simply "moving on". I'm not going to say it yet again, but you can go back through the thread if you're so inclined.

You argue that a person doing something once doesn't mean they'll do it again. You shacked up with one married man, and then dumped him to shack up with another.

nickyhutch

VestanPance wrote: »

Nobody should get married unless they think it's for life. Why not? You seem to think it's absurd that people could be partners for life, I'm not alone there which makes a mockery of your marriage.

No it doesn't. I sincerely hope we'll be together til death us do part, but I'm realistic enough to realise that people change, circumstances change and crap happens. I wouldn't want someone to stay with me even though I make them desperately unhappy, just because they said those words 20 years ago.