Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

purpletoenails

CH27 wrote: »

But by letting the affair continue you clearly spell out your lack of care, remorse & fairness.
That speaks volumes about you.

So if I walk away now, I will suddenly have all these attributes that I am apparently lacking at the moment?

CH27

purpletoenails wrote: »

So if I walk away now, I will suddenly have all these attributes that I am apparently lacking at the moment?

Well you will stop willfully contributing to the almost certain destruction of his family's happiness & security.
I would say that walking away would show fairness & compassion.

gettingbackontrack

purpletoenails wrote: »

Okay, if it makes you feel happier - I chose to let it happen.

And as for not seeing any evidence of caring or feeling, well I'm afraid, that as you know nothing of how I conduct my life, other than what's on this thread, you'll just have to take my word for it (or not)

Well, you seem very self-satisfied so maybe you should spend more time polishing your halo and less time with another woman's husband.

The more you try to justify your actions, the more despicable they appear. Nice peopel do not conduct illicit affairs, lie, cheat and then prentend to be victims/

I wonder if you told your children to steal another child's toy if they fancied it - because it would make them happy? According to what you've posted on this thread that seems to be acceptable in your book..... I guess if they said "I feel bad about what happened" afterwards they'd get buckets of sympathy andbe told they're wonderful people.....

gettingbackontrack

purpletoenails wrote: »

So if I walk away now, I will suddenly have all these attributes that I am apparently lacking at the moment?

Why would you expect people to consider you kind and compassionate when you mock another woman's betrayal?

And before you protest that you haven't mocked her, I refer to the above quote. "Apparently lack" indeed. A woman screwing a married man lacks an awful lot and there is no "apparent" about it.

purpletoenails

gettingbackontrack wrote: »

Well, you seem very self-satisfied so maybe you should spend more time polishing your halo and less time with another woman's husband. I have no need to polish my halo, I'm not trying to pretend I'm better than anyone else

The more you try to justify your actions, the more despicable they appear. Nice peopel do not conduct illicit affairs, lie, cheat and then prentend to be victims/ I'm not trying to justify my actions, I take full responsibility for them

I wonder if you told your children to steal another child's toy if they fancied it - because it would make them happy? Don't be ridiculous - no human being 'owns' another one, and I'm not trying to steal anyone According to what you've posted on this thread that seems to be acceptable in your book..... I guess if they said "I feel bad about what happened" afterwards they'd get buckets of sympathy andbe told they're wonderful people....I've not once asked for sympathy

gettingbackontrack wrote: »

Why would you expect people to consider you kind and compassionate when you mock another woman's betrayal?

And before you protest that you haven't mocked her, I refer to the above quote. "Apparently lack" indeed. How is that mocking her??? A woman screwing a married man lacks an awful lot and there is no "apparent" about it.

Not every human being can be as perfect as you seem to be, we are mostly fallible and do things sometimes that we might regret or not be very proud of. Perhaps you should start showing some kindness and compassion to us lesser mortals?

gettingbackontrack

purpletoenails wrote: »

Not every human being can be as perfect as you seem to be, we are mostly fallible and do things sometimes that we might regret or not be very proud of. Perhaps you should start showing some kindness and compassion to us lesser mortals?

I don't claim to be perfect (please refer me to the post in which I said that - or apologise). However, I have never slept with a married man. You're the repeat offender on that score.

If you do something you regret or are not proud of, I would suggest you stop doing it. You can do that but you choose not to. You pretend it's out of your control in some way, that it's something that happened. No it isn't, madam, it's something you DID.

End your affair right now and admit you've done the dirty on an innocent woman and children and I'll show you kindness and compassion. Keep on with the lies and deceit and you'll get the treatment you deserve. I've no patience with someone who shows the insensitivity and selfishness you exhibit.

purpletoenails

gettingbackontrack wrote: »

I don't claim to be perfect (please refer me to the post in which I said that - or apologise). That's how you are coming across However, I have never slept with a married man. You're the repeat offender on that score. Only with the 1, hardly a repeat offender

If you do something you regret or are not proud of, I would suggest you stop doing it. You can do that but you choose not to. How do you know what I've chosen to do? You pretend it's out of your control in some way, that it's something that happened. No it isn't, madam, it's something you DID. No, it wasn't just me that did it

End your affair right now and admit you've done the dirty on an innocent woman and children and I'll show you kindness and compassion. Keep on with the lies and deceit and you'll get the treatment you deserve. Which will be what? I've no patience with someone who shows the insensitivity and selfishness you exhibit.

I feel like you are just posting on here in order to insult and belittle me now. You are saying nothing that you've not already said before, or that hasn't been said by numerous other people. I appreciate you taking the time to post, but would appreciate it even more if you were more constructive and less personal in your comments.

1echidna

CH27 wrote: »

That's fine. I'd far rather be judgemental than without morals.

I'm afraid being judgemental in the way exhibited on this thread entails having the kind of morals that those who enjoy picking the wings off live butterflies have. They fail on both counts.

mountainofdebt

OP

I really don't get what you want us to say. Whilst I can appreciate you can't help who you fall in love with, it sounds that this isn't love - well certainly not on his part anyway.

If he truely madly deeply loved you don't you think he would move heaven and earth to be with you?

I do think you are subconsiously ashamed of your actions - after all if he's such an important part of your life why not introduce him to your children?

(for what it's worth just becuase you've only been involved with the one married man, doesn't make it any better and to my mind every time you have sex with him yes you BOTH are serially offending)

I guess you just wanted to someone to give you a hug and say to hang on in there and eventually he will leave his wife for you ....although I have a sneaky suspicion he will turn up with his suitcase in tow only when he has been kicked out by his wife who has found about his decit

nickyhutch

sandraroffey wrote: »

and please just remember this old saying 'when he marries the mistress, he creates a job vacancy'. he will do the same to you. just because he can.

That old chestnut. He "will" do the same? Absolutely definitely? My first husband left his wife for me and didn't cheat on me in 12 years. My second one has been here 8 years and hasn't.