dont know what to do

little_miss_messy_2

hello all,i really dont know what to do. a few years ago i saw my mum cuddling with my dads friend . i told her and asked why but she said it was because she was sad .
now a few days ago my aunty was talking to my uncle and didnt realise i could hear and they were talking about my mum saying that after having an affair for the last 6 years they didnyt know how she could do it and what about me etc.
now i dont know what to do cos if i tell my dad they may split up and i dont want theman to be a stepdad and i love my mum but feel if she loved me she wouldnt be doing this to me and my dad ..im so scared and i have only just turnd 13
thanx for any advice anyone can give

mountainofdebt

Am beginning to feel very old of a sudden...........

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Talk to your Aunty. She might be able to offer you some support.

And ignore Tod. He's a pain in the bum.

Poly,put_the_kettle_on

Whatever else the truth may be, don't ever think that this means your mum doesn't love you. There may be reasons you've never dreamed of. I agree, talk to your aunty.

marywooyeah

aw sweetheart thats awful - firstly have a big *hug*

sadly affairs are very common, probably loads of people on here at some point have been affected by them.
from what you have said it sounds like your dad doesnt know yet? thats a big burden to carry round with you.
I am not sure what to advise, if you ask your mum she might just deny it or ask you to keep it a secret, both of which aren't very nice for you.
Having said that, I don't think its right for you to tell your dad either as it would be really hard for him to hear that from you, and at 13 you don't need to carry that with you.

If both your aunty and uncle know, I would hazard a guess that it will all come out shortly anyway so I'd hang in tight for a few days.

x

ashaput

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Talk to your Aunty. She might be able to offer you some support.

Agree. Talk to your aunty. I know it is hard to keep the secret. But I think all you want now is to have a talk with someone. Big hug for you.

little_miss_messy_2

thanks guys for all advice so far . i will talk to my aunty later and see what she says ,she is my mums sister and we are very close .

joess

I agree you need to speak to your Aunty.

I caught my MIL with a family friend about 7 years ago, I never spoke to her about it or acknowledged to anyone it had happened - it's my biggest regret, I think about it all the time as I know it's still going on but can't bring it up as people will want to know why I didn't say anything all those years ago.

little_miss_messy_2

hi , just spoketo my aunty and she was so upset that i heard what was said and she said that she will talk to my mum for me if i want and that whatever happens they both love me and i can always talk to her but now i dont know if i want her to talk to my mum ..why do i know this stuff all im doing is crying and cant sleep .

pigpen

None of this is any reflection on you and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you .. or even that she doesn't love your dad either and I know that sounds a bit crazy. It is possible to love many many people in different ways and for different reasons.

It might be that your dad knows and is just not bothered.. he might not be too pleased but he might also realise that it is him she comes home to each day and it could be something they have discussed and chosen to do. Some people do actually do this... very few though.

Well done on talking to your aunty... it was very brave!

As a mum if my daughter knew I was doing something like this and was upset I would want to know, and it wouldn't matter if she told me herself or if my sister told me because I would want to know my girl was upset. She needs to know that you know.

Would it help if you could stay with your aunty a few days so you could talk to her and hopefully feel a bit better about it all?

You must be very mixed up an confused

little_miss_messy_2

hi i would love to but they go on holiday today for a week so i cant .my dad is oing to his mum and dads in the morning so i might talk to my mum then .