Now I am beig unreasonable - but can't help it!

patchwork_cat

ecgirl07 wrote: »

apologisies to OP if im wrong, but the stories are the all linked by the small details since the moving in with her husband and giving up her own house.... some stories just stick with you and ring familiar bells, this one does.

You are better at this than me ALL the threads on here merge into one for me as there are so many familiar themes!!!

Craftyscholar

lookingforsun wrote: »

The other thing, my DS has a very expensive telescope that my parents bought him - but they haven't got room for it, so he asked if we could store it (and use it), so DH is telling his son they can spend nights stargazing!!! I don't want that - it's my son's & he can't use it where he is - so why the blazes should SS?

Whatever else you decide you must remove your DS's telescope - either store it at your parents or with a friend you can trust, How will your DS feel if he finds out they are playing with his property?

sweetilemon

I think you have been given some good advice. your not being unreasonable at all it should be an equal relationship so you should do the same as OH invite your son to stay. The caravan idea is great or you can get similar things like a garden room etc.this can be paid for by ss contributions! Dont stay somewhere your unhappy though. If you cant work things out maybe you need to decide what you want and if that meants starting again with ds and new baby then c'est la vie.

Esoog

My DS was being a DH, as was his DL who was also being a SL. My other JL in turn was then being a UO, coupled with my RT who was seeing her LS at the time (who incidentally was my UI).. :mad:

hcb42

I;ve not read the links to the other threads...but I think I need to go against the grain here...I think expecting your SS to come and pay for food etc is ridiculous. I would never charge any relation for food! I am sure you know this is petty as well, and it is as a result of built up frustration within this relationships. A lot of other things seem a bit petty, like use of the telescope. Perhaps this relationship is on an ineven keel if your own son is not visiting. And obviously I don't agree with what he is suggesting on the abortion side. But you married him and he comes with a son (as do you) and it is up to you to make it work.

Now if i read these other threads and there is more to it than meets the eye in this OP then I will apologise in advance.

sweetilemon

Esoog wrote: »

My DS was being a DH, as was his DL who was also being a SL. My other JL in turn was then being a UO, coupled with my RT who was seeing her LS at the time (who incidentally was my UI).. :mad:

ive read this a few times... im lost is that the point?

*max*

sweetilemon wrote: »

ive read this a few times... im lost is that the point?

I think it might be. If this is his/her point, I have to agree, I can't stand the use of DS/DD/DH/DP..etc either. How long does it take to type son, daughter, husband...? Honestly.

Incapuppy

ecgirl07 wrote: »

august

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2648613

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2667165

october

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2821148


Im posting these to put into perspective for the op that she is consistently unhappy in her relationship and consistently gets similar advice. I understand that it is terribly hard to get out of an unhappy situation and you have to be ever so brave to make the break but based on the op's posts under different guises i can only advise she thinks very strongly about leaving and getting out. In the latest thread there was accusations of being judgemental, im not posting the links in this way but to give a perspective to the op about the pattern of her life.

You forgot the most recent thread which contains plenty of advice and sympathy.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3160276

Quite frankly OP I think your OH's son coming to stay is the least of your problems at the moment. You need to put yourself, your young child and the baby that you are now carrying (which your OH is, or was, trying to pressure you into aborting?) at the top of your list of priorities.

I realise that I probably sound harsh and unsympathetic (which I'm not as you are in an awful situation) but how many times will you post about your problems (under different user names) and how many more pages of advice (all saying much the same thing) will it take before you finally receive the wake up call you need?

I wish you the strength to do something about this situation and to keep you and your child(ren) happy and safe.

lookingforsun

Thank you everyone, I am seriously considering your recommendations - it just seems so hard.

My Stepson is coming tomorrow, and will be here until Monday. I am furious with hubby for not talking to me first, as I do NOT want him here on Sunday - fullstop (and I really don't care if I offend anyone).

On the Monday (yes I know it's Easter Monday - but that is the date they've booked), I am seeing my midwife- my husband thinks I'm having an abortion that day... obviously I need to tell him the truth, but it's hard & I've been putting it off, now we won't have the privacy. Also his son always gets involved in our arguments

I do know & appreciate that he has a son. So do I. I don't appreciate how his son is allowed to just come when he wants - and for how long he wants - and I don't get a say. I also think that as his son made the decision to move out, then his should now realise that it is no longer his home, but he is a guest.

I feel sorry for my son. He lives with his grandparents & doesn't come to stay with me (and I'm his ONLY parent now), yet stepson lives with his mum & gets to stay with dad too. Maybe I am being petty, but I just can't help how I feel

shellsuit

He wants you to have an abortion and won't let your son stay at the house but he's OK with his own son staying there.

Remind us, why exactly are you with this man?