Can't control my jealousy & insecurity

blue_monkey_2

Bettybigboobs wrote: »

Not read all the replies, but to be honest i'm more worried about the husband than the sister! Just what IS going on there??

He is being a plank!!

blue_monkey_2

*Louise* wrote: »

blue_monkey - wow, if I was your hubby I would be totally scared to cross you!!:T:rotfl:

LOL, he knows. :rotfl:

Seriously though, I don't think he'd ever do anything to disrespect me in that way but I have been in relationships with people who have. Thankfully I was not married to them!! I cannot remember what it was over but I have stopped doing his washing and cooking before.

At the end of the day respect is a 2 way street and if I am not getting it then I'll stop being nice. Then he realises just how much I do for him.

The husband is being a pillock, the OP needs to stop doing s much for him - and as for not speaking to him at the party - I'd have not stopped there, I'd probably still not be seaking to him. Sitting in a different room with my vile sister all night. I think not. I'd have been in there telling him to get into the other room - if had not been so disrespectful in the first place then I'd have no need to belittle him in front of others in that way. However, as he would be belittling me by having that conversation all night with my vile sister who had just put me down in front of everyone, then it would be more than deserved.

In a way the OP has let it get this far in a way (although not blaming you OP, just think you should have nipped this in the bud earlier), her sister thinks she is onto something and the husband is having his ego stroked. it's the usual excuse, wife to busy with the baby and housework, blah, blah, blah ;no-one loves me and I need some attention' crap.

When he got home from work I'd have already eaten and have my feet up for a start. :rotfl: We do not have that many arguments in all fairness, but if I found my hubby was having secret conversations with my sister (who i cannot stand) and arranging to go for drinks he would NOT be sleeping in my bed until arrangements were unarranged. And fast. And he would be getting his ar se kicked be being so bloody disrespectful. And if he did not like it, well, he could kiss it and go find somewhere else to sleep. He'll soon be back with his tail between his legs because I look after him too well. :rotfl:

Yes, I know I am on here - DH has gone up to bed hours ago, I've spent the last 2 1/2 hours sewing bloody badges on a Brownie sash for tomorrow. My fingers are bleeding now where I have sabbed them with a needle so many times. I hate sewing with a passion!! The things we do for kids and husbands eh?

LegalBlonde

What happened OP?????

RacyRed

This is the hubby who decided you are having an abortion, right?

OP's other thread

WHY are you putting so much effort into keeping this pathetic excuse for a human?

Plans_all_plans

OP I didn't realise it was you from the other thread mentioned above!

You poor poor thing...I'd be hatching my escape plan if I were you and I'd be taking my kids out of there. Best of luck with it all.

blue_monkey_2

Bloody hell.

OP, maybe they are welcome to each other. Really. You are worth SO much more than this. Do not put up with 'second best' because you have always walked in your sisters shadow.

It'll be the best thing you have ever done.

Hopefully he has gone for the day and you have every excuse to kick his sorry ar se out the door.

I can TOTALLY understand why you are suspicious and paranoid about him. And I bet HE has told you that too, and that it is all your fault.... etc.... Been there, worn the t-shirt and got the f-out. He does not value or respect you.

Plans_all_plans

lookingforsun wrote: »

I know that all the responses I get, will be to tell me how stupid & selfish I'm being, I know this, I've been told this all my life, but it doesn't stop how I feel.

I actually think that you have suffered from emotional abuse in one form or another for an awful lot of your life - whether it was from your sister/mum growing up and now with men in adulthood.

You will only start to see the world as it really is - and how you deserve to be treated - once you realise that you are not a stupid, selfish person with trust issues and paranoia. You only think like this, because it is what you've been told for so long.

I don't know whether this is something you will be able to realise by yourself or whether you'll need some form of counselling to help you, but I wish you all the best in getting your self-esteem back. From what you've told us about your husband: I don't think he is helping you.

sjc3

lookingforsun wrote: »

When the solicitor told her she'd have to consider moving to the town when her divorce is finalised (she can't afford a mortgage) she claimed she'd live in a field rather than some dump where I live!

She will be right at home living in a field, with all the other cows

RacyRed

sjc3 wrote: »

She will be right at home living in a field, with all the other cows

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

blue_monkey_2

OMG, I read all of the other post and he sounds like a catch. I hope she waved him off with a smile on her face and then packed and got the hell out while he was gone or has changed the locks.

He sounds like a manipulative bully. OP, you might not think you are suffering from domestic abuse but you are, these pathetic mind games are a way of controlling you and it is not acceptable. You need to have a really good hard think about whether you actually want to be with this man. Don;t stay with him because you feel he is the only one who will love you - he doesn't else he would not treat you this way. As I said before, he neither respects or values your relationship - which does not leave a lot.

I know how hard it is to has your self esteem smashed into the ground, to be told things to make you feel worthless. You think they are lovely because they are, once a week.

I'd say that your husband and sister are pretty much like for like and that is the reason you fell for him, because you have been treated like that all your life by others. He is as nasty as your sister is, sorry if you did not want to hear that, but it is true. You are worth SO much more than this sweetheart and I think that you need to change this cycle of abuse. Because you have always been treated like that you feel that this is 'normal'. It isn't.

ETA: I did go for a nose around too and I found this: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3149134 What is wrong with your husband OP? And you said that he took you for a termination on the way to work but he get's IS. i thought you only got IS if you did not work. Am now very confused, have we been trolled??