Can't control my jealousy & insecurity

RacyRed

Oh wow! I had no idea what I was unleashing when I linked the other thread to this - meant sympathetically and to give a more complete picture of what the OP is going through.

What is very clear from all of the threads is that hubby sees the op as a source of cash. OP, hide whatever is left of your savings before he spends them. Please.

bestpud

I think it is perfectly possible the OP is actually facing this situation, but that does not mean she cant also be someone who thrives on the drama.

Im not sure how useful it is to tell her again and again how awful it all is - predumably she knows that but can't make the leap yet.

In that case, the only constructive advice is to remind her there are agencies like women's aid who will help and support her if she makes contact with them.

I can also say for sure, OP, that your child will not be automatically handed over to her father. I think it would be an idea to seek a place in a women's refuge as they will help with practical things like accommodation, but also give emotional support and space for you to discuss yours fears without fear of being judged.

Personally, I would see a termination as a viable option in your situation. There is not many scenarios that would make me think that, but I am very concerned for the child you have now, let alone a new one born into this mess. Not because of you, but because your relationship and home environment is toxic and no child should have to cope with that.

euronorris

lookingforsun wrote: »

No one has said about taking my baby - it's my fear.

He went on holiday last year - alone - when I had bad postnatal anxiety... I had a HV visit the day I went, and was crying (as I'm sure even SANE women left holding a 4 month old, whilst their DH went off abroad would). They then started visiting more, telling me to go out, phoning my CPN. My CPN wasn't worried, as he expected me to be upset about it & didn't think it heralded a bout of depression (and it didn't, i was fine on my own after a couple of days & enjoyed my freedom).

I guess just saying you're bipolar gives others the right to judge you, and the minute anyone knows you're bipolar, they attribute EVERY mood change to the illness (like the stupid HV when DH went away)...

Before anyone asks DH went into ovedraft to pay for the trip - so we're still paying for it.

I know it looks confusing, that's how I feel.

When I was a single parent to my son, I used to get a lot of judgements from people, so I guess, especially with having bipolar, that it looks better to outsiders than anything.

And I do love DH - I almost feel ashamed to say that, but I do, and I can't seem to change that. Though I do hate him from time to time

Don't waste your time worrying about what other people may think of you. It doesn't matter. Think about it, if they think something bad of you, what effect does it have on you or your life? Even if they were bold enough to tell you what they feel? At worst, you would might feel a bit upset by the comments, but you know they aren't true and that feeling will pass, and then what? Nothing, absolutely nothing. So please, don't let others perceived conceptions of you hold you back from moving forward.