Can't control my jealousy & insecurity

Bambywamby

msb5262 wrote: »

I'm afraid either we have been trolled or the OP is extremely unstable. If you look at the three threads together, it's hard to come to any other conclusion. I wish the OP luck but this whole situation is making alarm bells ring for me.

MsB

On the off chance this poster is telling the truth, we should still give good advice and be supportive.
Some people are so down trodden that they put up with anything and their life seems so absurbed and ridiculous because people with better self esteem just wouldn't put up with it.

If it is all true, I feel very sorry for her and her children. She should ditch the sister, kick the dreg of a husband out and start a fresh. Easier said than done when you are feeling depressed but she doesn't deserve these two negative influences in her life.

blue_monkey_2

It's no wonder your paranoid when he is acting like a !!!!.

This is why I think that HE is making your condition worse.

It sounds like Kerry Katona when she was with that Mark bloke, she got rid of him and now is able to look after herself as he is not telling her she is a loser 24/7.

I really do think you need to have a serious think on where this relationship is going, I actually think it is doing you more hard than good. However only YOU can change this. Stuff him recording arguments, we all have them. Have SS told you they will take the baby from you? I think you need some support so you can decided what you need to do.

ne thing is obvious though - this marriage is not healthy and I, personally, think you need to get out before you do more damage. You are paranoid because he has made you this way. And continues to do so. have you told your psych any of this? Because I think you need to. Maybe they can get you some support.

I just want to add that now we have been told everything it does all add up and I want to be supportive and help the OP. BUT, the 'paranoia' she has comes from her hubby telling her she is, lying and being secretive- this treatment would make anyone paranoid in all honesty, if it's not her hubby it's her sister. It is hard making that move when you are at rock bottom, but when you are at rock bottom and are ill too - it's even harder. Do you rent or own your own house OP?

Also to add that they are not just going to take your baby away, this can be the time for you to prove yourself to them. I am confused as to why you feel you need him - you only need him because of the way he has been treating you, and this is what is making you sick.

Can you see how this vicious circle is going? Maybe you can get better if you get rid of him. Can I ask how long you have been ill? Has it been worse since you have been with him? Maybe you yourself cannot see it.

LadyMorticia

lookingforsun wrote: »

OK I'm bipolar. I'm scared that the authorities would think that I could not cope if I was to leave (although I did raise a child alone before & I do most of the childcare & my psychiatrist thinks she is a very well-cared for baby & has no concerns.

He has recorded arguments (without me knowing) and this has scared me.

He also came to the psychiatrist with me & told them how paranoid I am (after finding all the photos of his genitals)... so I worry what he would say.

I also find it hard - he tells me that I'm paranoid (over the photos etc), so I think I am, then when I think about it alone, I think it's weird.

As my CPN says, there's a difference between paranoia and insecurity and a reason for how your feeling. I wouldn't say you're paranoid hun. I'd say that your OH wants you to think that all these problems are ones you're creating, when clearly they're not.

pupsicola

I left an abusive relationship myself nearly 5 years ago. It is clear to me OP that you are being very badly abused by your husband. I have read this thread and others of yours. Your husbands treatment of you is extreme and is being done to reduce you to the state you are now in. The only way you are going to get better and lead a happy life is to be shot of him for good.

Your sisters treatment of you is appalling but it is your husband who is doing you the greatest harm.

blue_monkey_2

LadyMorticia wrote: »

As my CPN says, there's a difference between paranoia and insecurity and a reason for how your feeling. I wouldn't say you're paranoid hun. I'd say that your OH wants you to think that all these problems are ones you're creating, when clearly they're not.

LM - would your CPN withold your condition from your hubby? Is this usual practice?

OP. Does he go to all of your appointments with you?

My ex used to be like this, he used to go with me because he knew what I was telling them. I was not allowed to go anywhere on my own, I was not allowed to talk to anyone - of course, it was because get out of me that I was being beaten every day. However, he was on total control of my life but I could not see it, could not see what he was doing, I thought he was great because he loved me comgine everywhere.

I look back now and I am mortified at what he did to me, my self confidence was rock bottom, I spent all of my days with this horrible sick feeling so bad I could not eat. I was paranoid and suspicious because that is how he made me. The only reaon I was not oin tablets was because he would not let me go back and speak to the doctor on my won and she kept on asking me to go back. I think she knew but there was nothing she could do to help me. When I finally plucked up the courage to walk out I was less than 6 stone through stress and fear.

The day I walked was the day I got my life back - however, it did not happen overnight, it took many years and also counselling too. I am much stronger now and I'd not put up with any of that now but I do know that had I not walked away from that relationship I would probably not be here speaking to you now. I tried to kill myself 3 times when I was in that relationship. I never thought I'd be able to do it on my own because of all the things he said to me, but I am sitting here telling you all of this now.

LadyMorticia

blue_monkey wrote: »

LM - would your CPN withold your condition from your hubby? Is this usual practice?

Heya BM. My CPN would never withhold my condition from him. It's vital that he knows so that he can care for me properly and to aid me on the road to recovery. I thought it was normal practice for partners to be told about their OH's condition?

The only reason I could think for someone not being told is if it could be dangerous for them to know? Or if the person had explicitly asked the other person not to be told? But even then they would usually be persuaded that it would be for the best.

pupsicola

blue_monkey I think we have the same ex, seriously. Oddly enough we use to live in hertfordshire too.

balletshoes

pupsicola wrote: »

I left an abusive relationship myself nearly 5 years ago. It is clear to me OP that you are being very badly abused by your husband. I have read this thread and others of yours. Your husbands treatment of you is extreme and is being done to reduce you to the state you are now in. The only way you are going to get better and lead a happy life is to be shot of him for good.

Your sisters treatment of you is appalling but it is your husband who is doing you the greatest harm.

I agree completely with pupsicola's assessment of your situation OP - this is not reasonable behaviour, at all, and he's doing a better job every single day you're with him, of grinding you down and making you feel like nothing.

blue_monkey_2

pupsicola wrote: »

blue_monkey I think we have the same ex, seriously. Oddly enough we use to live in hertfordshire too.

Oh cripes..... I know there was more after me, sadly.

My life changed the day I decided I would go out with a black eye and tell everyone where I got it. I don't know what came over me. When peopel asked where I got it turned and pointed and said 'he did it'. I got a beating that night and I then decided that it was now or never and the next day I packed what I needed intoa carrier back and just left.

He came running after me but I refused to go back. I became stronger from that day forward.

blue_monkey_2

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Heya BM. My CPN would never withhold my condition from him. It's vital that he knows so that he can care for me properly and to aid me on the road to recovery. I thought it was normal practice for partners to be told about their OH's condition?

The only reason I could think for someone not being told is if it could be dangerous for them to know? Or if the person had explicitly asked the other person not to be told? But even then they would usually be persuaded that it would be for the best.

Interesting. These were my thoughts too. So what is the husband REALLY like?