Can't control my jealousy & insecurity

balletshoes

Look OP, if you really don't want your sister getting her own way, as far as I can see the only way this is going to happen is if your husband says he's not going to see the car, or for the drink afterwards.

What are you going to do when/if he does go (because the way things sound, he's not going to say No now).

Under the circumstances, with all the OTT phone calling, I'd also be suggesting your husband changes his mobile phone number, or gets your sister's number blocked. But if he's flattered by her attention (despite how you feel about it all) I doubt he'll do that - so again OP, what are you going to do?

I'm exasperated for you by your sis and your OH.

misgrace

The more you write the more I am appalled at the cheek of her, ringing oh every day!!! and he the silly idiot speaking to her.
I might be way off here, but do you think she is doing this to get a reaction from you,she knows that you have maybe always been insecure next to her, (why I dont know as she sounds a nasty piece) she has split from her OH, your still with yours and happy, so she wants to put a spanner in the works?

The more your saying the more I want to tell you to really put your foot down as this is beyond a joke now.
Either tell OH point blank that you are having none of it, or if he still insists on going, you go along with your child, or perhaps get your mum to have the kids and you go as well.

SandC

I agree with everyone else, you are not being jealous and insecure. You should tell your OH today that he will not be going and he's to phone and tell her that.

A 40 year old woman doesn't need any bloke to come with her on first looks at cars. If she was any kind of a mother she'd be making it a fun trip for her and her son and get him involved in choosing a new car for them! Then when she's seen one she's interested in she should be asking for help on the second look. I don't have a partner and I do not waste anyone's time by asking them to trawl round looking at motors with me until I think I want it but I need someone who knows about the mechanical side to check it out for me.

And he doesn't even know about the mechanical side anyway.

She's got a darned cheek and you need to really let your OH know how you feel about this.

lookingforsun

Thanks. I decided I didn't want to argue with DH about it. He knows my feelings all too well (he knows I avoid answering the phone to her, all the arguments, our wedding etc), he knows I don't want him to go, but I won't beg.

So I bit the bullet & asked him what time the car viewing was. He asked me why, and I replied "so I can make sure DD & I are ready to come then). He just looked at me and said that he thought I was looking after nephew, I said no, that I thought it'd be good to come too.

He then said to me that I was crowding him, that obviously I don't trust him to be alone with another female, or like it when he gets attention, or another woman wants his help. He told me that my sister asked him, and it has nothing to do with me, it's between him & her, and I'm being stifling.

So I don't know what to do.

I do love my sister (as hard as it is to believe, it's true), i just don't like her, and we don't get on.

She does take advantage of people; she has a job which involves looking after animals, and she quite often just drops them off at my parents house. They will say no to her, but she walks off, gets into her car, and drives off - knowing my mum & dad will not kick out other people's dogs. At times my brother & I have suggested they do this - or with her dog which she's always leaving. But my parents say no, and she does what she wants... I've got over the unfairness of that (my brother has also had lots of arguments with my parents over it). But that is why I DON'T want DH going... it is petty, but jsut because she takes advantage of my parents does NOT mean I have to put up with it... as far as I'm concerned DH is not obligated to her. The way I see it, if he does this, it'll just be the start. My dad does stuff in her house for her now (and while she was married as she didn't want to ask her DH). Dad is now getting old and has osteoartritis, so is not as able no, she is getting divorced and will have to move, and, I imagine, will have lots of things to be done, and she'll assume he will help.

There is one thing that may be driving this. She came to my house on birthday, when her son was a newborn. Her DH asked me if I'd like to go for a meal the following week as a birthday treat. I agreed, told sister & she arranged for a babysitter - it then emerged that her DH was asking me out ALONE! My sister was understandably upset over this (of course I didn't go - I was shocked). He avoided me after that, and me him. I'm not sure if my sister is still angry over that

Sambucus_Nigra

I'd ask him what !!!!!!! planet he was on and think very carefully before actually leaving the house and about the whole stupid situation

January20

I think the advice of taking yourself and your DD out for the day and be unavailable for babysitting duty is a good one. You should follow it. You have little other choice since your DH will not have you there and will not say no to your sister.

Then find a problem that one of his friends could help you with and tell him you are going to ask for this friend's help. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Be as single-minded about it as he has been with you.

He is a very silly man to do this to you.

Bambywamby

I wouldn't say you are being unreasonably jealous...personally I would have walked away from her along time ago - sister or not. If she spends her time trying to make you miserable/feel inferior/unhappy...why have that in your life? Life is too short and you only get once chance to enjoy it. x

Bambywamby

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Has it occurred to you that most men are polite to her because they are absolutely terrified and have no idea how to deal with a fat old tart hauling her carcasse around like an alleycat on heat?

The vast majority are probably trying not to vomit when she shuffles her sagging, sweaty cleavage under their noses.

Your husband included.

Lmao...you have way with words dear.

viktory

I feel sorry for your sister - sounds like she has been hated by both her mother and sister for her entire life. In order to validate herself and her life she looks for attention where she can get it - from men.

Tell your husband how you feel and ask that he doesn't spend any time alone with your sister if it will make you feel better. Personally, I think you should have some trust in your husband and deal with your own issues.

sassyblue

lookingforsun wrote: »

Thanks. I decided I didn't want to argue with DH about it. He knows my feelings all too well (he knows I avoid answering the phone to her, all the arguments, our wedding etc), he knows I don't want him to go, but I won't beg.

So I bit the bullet & asked him what time the car viewing was. He asked me why, and I replied "so I can make sure DD & I are ready to come then). He just looked at me and said that he thought I was looking after nephew, I said no, that I thought it'd be good to come too.

He then said to me that I was crowding him, that obviously I don't trust him to be alone with another female, or like it when he gets attention, or another woman wants his help. He told me that my sister asked him, and it has nothing to do with me, it's between him & her, and I'm being stifling.

So I don't know what to do.

I do..... tell him you've asked nicely and now you're TELLING HIM - he's NOT going!!

Your sister is clearly making a play for him (or at least trying to cause trouble) with all these sudden phone calls, wanting him to take her to look at a car AND got for a drink afterwards??

I can understand he's soft and wants to help people but he's being disrespectful to you and downright stupid if he can't see what your sister is upto....

I do NOT like him coming back and saying you're crowding him, what is he upto/thinking??

Time to play dirty with your sister methinks.... I think l'd bugge*r off out for the whole day on my own tomorrow if l were you, let him have to stay in and look after your child, sorry but l think he's taking the pi55 now too :mad: