Stripper Opinions - but fear I may regret it.

Torry_Quine

dmg24 wrote: »

Why do images of the human body have to be described as 'flaunting it'?

Yes, I have seen her naked many times. We change together, we share a bed on occasion. I don't see an issue with that?

OK maybe that is the wrong phrase to use. I just meant that other than my OH I would only show my naked body to someone medically.

I certainly have never seen any of my friends naked and would never expect to. :eek:

FelinePrincess wrote: »

I don't see what's so outrageous about that?! There's nothing wrong with nakedness and nothing sinister or sexual about it. Surely you have seen some of your friends in their swimwear? Thats almost naked!

There is a world of difference between swim-wear and nudity or at least there should be!

shell_girl wrote: »

I'm not going to get into the whole !!!!!!/ stripper morality issue... we're unlikely to come to consensus and risk hijacking the OP's thread!

My 2p's worth- I felt a bit queasy when I read the phrase 'nailing some strippers'. Horrible horrible turn of phrase. 'nailing' basically implies sex with no regard for the female's pleasure. Some men will talk about 'strippers' or 'prostitutes' instead of talking about them as WOMEN who do a particular job- suppose it makes it easier to objectify them.

Gracie P put it best, but imho objectify one woman, objectify us all.

Most of us have probably had one night stands along the way that's just about the sex and nothing else- no problem whatsoever. But once you're in a committed relationship it becomes much more.

I want to be able to make love with my partner knowing that what we are doing is mutual pleasure- giving and taking, and that we are equal, and respect each other. I would struggle to do so if I heard/ read that he'd made that comment.

Speak for yourself I have never even wanted a one night stand never mind have one.

FelinePrincess

Sorry OP for going off track..

northeastern wrote: »

How do you know they enjoy it? They're probably not going to tell you how much they dislike it. I don't think all strippers believe it's a great way to make money doing something they enjoy.

And I'll go into details as I'm using another user name. I worked in a club in London many moons ago. Was basically told by one of the well-off clientele that the women could make a lot of money from the "xtras", and I was very naive to think otherwise. I didn't enjoy it at all, didn't take him up on his offer of a nice cruise and didn't stay.

My sister-in-law also had a decent cocaine habit developed while she was stripping, she may have gone down that route anyway but I'm pretty sure that if she'd enjoyed what she was doing she wouldn't have been taking so much drugs.

Maybe some clubs are better than others, and some women enjoy it and believe they are in control, if so, great, good on them. However, lap-dancing/gentlemen's clubs have been investigated for prostitution, big ones in London included, there was also a C4 documentary on it a while ago.

So whenever someone says "nothing wrong with stripping", fine, that's their opinion but there can be more to it than "just" taking your clothes off. And if that's your choice, great, but I found it difficult to deal with.

How long did you work in the club for? I think, when some people first start work in a lapdancing club they are shocked as it's not all glamorous but it's certainly not all bad! Not all lap dancers will think it's a great way of making money doing something they enjoy - but most will think it's a decent way to make a good income, I think they are very few lap dancers that hate the job - it's not the sort of job you can do if you hate it, those who dislike it to start off with usually leave very quickly.

Yes, some girls will make extra money doing extra things but most girls make very good money without doing anything extra. Ofcourse a customer will tell an innocent new girl the only way to make good money if by doing extra - he would want you to think that so that you would do that!

Now, I don't know why your sister-in-law developed her habit but I don't think one can say that if someone enjoyed what they were doing they wouldn't have to take drugs. Alot of clubbers take drugs, does that mean they hate going out clubbing and taking drugs is the only way to face it? It's likely she enjoyed cocaine and when she started dancing she had the money to do more of it, combined with being in a 'going out' environment which made it feel 'ok' to take it more often.

The tv documentaries are sensationalist - it's alot juicer to watch the dark side of the industry and whilst there is some truth in them it's not a true reflection of what it's really like.

Having said all that, it's certainly not for everyone

janninew

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

But doesn't it work both ways? Shouldn't the OP be respectful that her husband wants to go and watch strippers and he has every right to do so. Just because she doesn't like the idea of him doing it, doesn't mean he shouldn't do it.

I really don't like some my OH's friends but I wouldn't for a minute expect him to stop going out with them based on that alone.

You expect the OP to respect a decision that makes her "feel sick to her stomach" just because her OP wants to get his kicks looking at other naked women? What kind of marriage would that be?
You can't even compare seeing friends you dislike to watching strippers, its not even in the same league!

geri1965_2

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

You would struggle to make love to your partner if you heard him say "nailing some strippers"?

Good Lord, MSE is full of over-sensitive people.

It's nothing at all to do with being sensitive and everything to do with respecting women and treating them as people, not a sex object! There is no way I would still be with my OH if he spoke about women in that way.

gratefulforhelp_2

northeastern wrote: »

So whenever someone says "nothing wrong with stripping", fine, that's their opinion but there can be more to it than "just" taking your clothes off. And if that's your choice, great, but I found it difficult to deal with.

Isn't that ultimately what is worrying the OP? It is what would worry me.

MrsTinks

RoxieW wrote: »

What hurts is that he knows this but still was so intent on trying to set it up, obv in secret as he had already told me he wouldn't go to a stripper again.

RoxieW wrote: »

I saw a thread between him and a friend whet he was trying his best to arrange a gang of strippers for a distant friends stag do - one he hadn't even mentioned going on. The banter that I saw on there was disgusted and included 'nailing some strippers' etc etc - u can imagine the rest.[...]not only was he planning on going to the stag do which fair enough could see him railroaded into going to a strip club, he was actually doing his damdest to twist other peoples arms into it and had all the research and everything.

RoxieW wrote: »

He's not arranging the stag do mrs tine. Someone else is and neither him nor the groom want strippers.

I'm confused... you say HE'S twisting other peoples arms to go... then he's trying to set it up but neither he nor the groom actually want to go... anyone else confused?

As for people thinking it's cheating looking at other people when you're in a relationship... wow... you never think "gosh that Johnny Depp/ George Clooney/ Brad Pitt/ whoever is quite fit..."? seriously? because it amounts to the same thing...

burnoutbabe

geri1965 wrote: »

It's nothing at all to do with being sensitive and everything to do with respecting women and treating them as people, not a sex object! There is no way I would still be with my OH if he spoke about women in that way.

Oh, dear, I've been known to say about some of the men on tv "i'd tap that" or "I'd do that. Twice"

Its just throwaway chat. Same as saying you'd nail someone. its just a bit more basic than saying "i'd make sweet beautiful love to them"

sausageface

Originally Posted by shell_girl
I want to be able to make love with my partner knowing that what we are doing is mutual pleasure- giving and taking, and that we are equal, and respect each other. I would struggle to do so if I heard/ read that he'd made that comment.


"RedwoodBrook
You would struggle to make love to your partner if you heard him say "nailing some strippers"?

Good Lord, MSE is full of over-sensitive people."

burnoutbabe wrote: »

Oh, dear, I've been known to say about some of the men on tv "i'd tap that" or "I'd do that. Twice"

Its just throwaway chat. Same as saying you'd nail someone. its just a bit more basic than saying "i'd make sweet beautiful love to them"

Her OH was basically saying to his friends that he wanted to go and sh*g some strippers - I can't believe that you or anyone else would actually be okay with that?! :eek:

I know I wouldn't!

(sorry, I don't know how to multi-quote properly)

euronorris

RoxieW wrote: »

Been thinking on some of the opinions given seriously but I just cant understand how anyone can feel ok at the thought of the person they love ogling a naked woman - yes probably with a better body than me! - who is draping themselves all over them. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. The fact that I don't want my husband to pay a woman to take her clothes of and turn him on doesn't make me jealous or controlling.

Roxie, do you object to him watching strippers in general (ie, in a seat away from the 'stage'), or to having a private dance?

Personally, I don't mind if my OH goes to a strip club to just view from a distance, so to speak, but a private dance is a complete no-no. If he wants that, he can just ask me instead! lol

He knows my feelings on this, and respects it. He doesn't have any interest in going to strip clubs anyway, as he just sees them as a big tease, in which case he'd rather be at home getting some real action.

I'm just wondering if there is a compromise that can be reached between you, if you only object to the private dancing?

Any

I have to say, I couldn't stop reading this thread!
Some of the opinions just made me laugh!! I can just imagine these people with a cross in their hand in front of their face and the other in front of their eyes and screaming every time just a centimeter of skin on a ladies breast comes on the TV....
One would believe we steped into 18th century..

OMG, I am sorry, I have very wild imagination... Some of the opinions here are soooo extreme it's unreal!!

I might shock some too - I have seen my best friends naked, and so they've seen me. We don't generaly just take our clothes off for the fun of it, it usually just happens as we are getting changed to pyjamas, or when my best friend wants me to spray her with self tan. It is completely normal and NOTHING to be ashamed of!!!!

And I also have the feeling that lots of people are mistaking prostitutes with stripers here...

My OH has been to a strip club, so what. I buy Cosmopolitan when it has centrofold with naked celebrities (who do it usually for charity). I like to look at a sixpack. It doesn't mean I am some dirty slag just because I do. I find it beatiful.

DMG24-I applaud you for your arguments. Very well said.