MSE Parents Club Part 16

kitkat5566

Becles wrote: »

Kitkat - definitely pick a house with a garden. It's so useful having somewhere safe that you can send them out to play in rather than having them in the house all of the time. We're in a quiet cul-de-sac so they're reasonably safe playing out in the front street as well.

Thanks Becles, good advice! My parents want me to move to the house they suggested saying i could move out after 6 months (minimum rental period) but really whats the point?! I dont want to keep moving T I would rather stay here.


Well thats enough 'cosy little chats' from me for tonight...

redmel1621

I think the main problem when they merge threads is that it goes into date order, so instead of being tagged onto the end where we can all read it, we end up missing it, or there is already TONS of answers so often don't feel like we need to add any more!!


xx

Sami_Bee

meritaten wrote: »

this is really annoying me! for some reason the thread I was following was moved onto this one, 'MSE Parents Club' from moneysaving in Marraiges Relationships etc. and its obviously disturbed your cosy little chats! this parent requires help and support and is NOT going to get it here! might as well have chucked it down to the Arms!!!!

this is our fault is it? The BG's merge threads into here, we have no control over it.

workinmummy

meritaten wrote: »

this is really annoying me! for some reason the thread I was following was moved onto this one, 'MSE Parents Club' from moneysaving in Marraiges Relationships etc. and its obviously disturbed your cosy little chats! this parent requires help and support and is NOT going to get it here! might as well have chucked it down to the Arms!!!!

And you're having a go at those who do post on the parent thread because ????????

Thread mergers are annoying to the parent thread. But I think you will find that when it is realised that a question has been merged, many of the posters go back to find the merged question and assist in any way possible.

I politely suggest that you direct your anger at this merger to the board guides and admin as those that do frequent the parent thread are NOT in the wrong.

hammyhunter

meritaten wrote: »

this is really annoying me! for some reason the thread I was following was moved onto this one, 'MSE Parents Club' from moneysaving in Marraiges Relationships etc. and its obviously disturbed your cosy little chats! this parent requires help and support and is NOT going to get it here! might as well have chucked it down to the Arms!!!!

It is thanks to too many sarky comments like that ^^^^^ which have stopped many regular posters contributing :mad:

Talk to the board guides if you are not happy about merge procedures

redmel1621

I think it is as annoying to those who are trying to follow a certain thread when it gets merged, because, as I say it goes into date order automatically, it looks as though the PT regulars have ignored the op whose thread was merged and have continued chatting...that isn't the case, a lot of the 'chat' was already there and the thread has suddenly appeared inbeween those posts....In Date Order!

I hope that makes sense and I can assure you and anyone else who requires advice/reassurance that we are definitely happy to help

xx

tarajayne

meritaten wrote: »

this is really annoying me! for some reason the thread I was following was moved onto this one, 'MSE Parents Club' from moneysaving in Marraiges Relationships etc. and its obviously disturbed your cosy little chats! this parent requires help and support and is NOT going to get it here! might as well have chucked it down to the Arms!!!!

PMT?


......

Glad

redmel1621 wrote: »

I think it is as annoying to those who are trying to follow a certain thread when it gets merged, because, as I say it goes into date order automatically, it looks as though the PT regulars have ignored the op whose thread was merged and have continued chatting...that isn't the case, a lot of the 'chat' was already there and the thread has suddenly appeared inbeween those posts....In Date Order!

I hope that makes sense and I can assure you and anyone else who requires advice/reassurance that we are definitely happy to help

xx

yes they are posted in time order and if it looked like being confusing I would either not merge or post to say I had
in this case the OP of the merged thread was at 9.12pm, in that time there had only been TWO posts in the parent thread, one just general chat asking for a recipe and the second giving a link to a recipe and mentioning the person asking by their username (so obvious who they were replying to)
all other posts between the time of the OP of the merged thread and this morning were from the merged thread, so a continuous discussion, so in this case I can't see why it was so confusing,

surely if a parent has a problem they need help with (and this was a parenting question) you would all rather their query was in your helpful, informative thread, than moved to the Arms where they may feel a little out of place
saying that nonmoneysaving threads should all be moved to the Arms is a little harsh when this thread has its fair share of non moneysaving posts
I like the support it gives though and it's good to have somewhere to put these queries rather than move them

as I've said this merge was done with a minimum of disruption

ladybirdintheuk

moonbeam2007 wrote: »

Ok here goes.

My lovely son is 3 yrs old and I am being told that I 'need to let go a bit'.

He goes to Nursery a few sessions for 2 1/2 hours but that's not the problem. I have not let him stay away from home not with anyone as I feel he is 1] very young - no rush 2] he likes being with Mummy and I love being with him too

But it's driving me mad being told 'you need to let go' 'your not doing the right thing for him' WHY??? he's 3 not 23.

Now granted he hasn't stayed anywhere, only once when I was taken into hospital over night and left the next morning I was with him by 9am and hated it not being with him. I worry I really worry and maybe Yes I worry too,,, much but he's my whole world and I really enjoy our time together. I don't need a break as people sometimes say, I don't NEED him to go away for a weekend or over night.

He only has me, his Dad has spend past 3 years popping in and out his life and hasn't seen him since july last year. I am over protective of him but isn't all Mum's??

Am I being wrong by not letting him stay away? He doesn't seem to want to when he's asked but I'm told that's my fault.

Don't know what to think

I thought I'd go back and quote the original post as it is a bit lost in the misrs of time now!

Izzy is 2, and has never stayed anywhere without me. I think she is getting close to being ready to stay with grandparents, but there is no big rush for us. If we end up with a wedding invitation or something thst will require us to stay over will cross that bridge when we come to it.

I am a firm believer that you have to do what works for yourself and your family. Everyone's circumstances are different and they can't make judgements on yours. You do what works for you and sod the rest of 'em!

SugarSpun

meritaten wrote: »

this is really annoying me! for some reason the thread I was following was moved onto this one, 'MSE Parents Club' from moneysaving in Marraiges Relationships etc. and its obviously disturbed your cosy little chats! this parent requires help and support and is NOT going to get it here! might as well have chucked it down to the Arms!!!!

Becles posted a thread in the Site Feedback forum about this issue, because in the past the thread merges were always accompanied by a little comment to say there was a merged thread so the PT regulars could go and find it and make sure it was answered, but the BG has stopped doing that now and so questions sometimes go unanswered We do try our best though.

As far as the original question goes, my small one is only 18 months old and hasn't stayed anywhere overnight. I do think it's important to let a child develop and have relationships outside the primary parent relationships though and so we have a babysitter who she adores and a couple of hours a week at Gymboree, where a parent is there but her focus is elsewhere. While each child develops at their own rate, I think that when lots of people who know the child and you (OP of merged thread) are saying that you need to let go a bit, they're probably looking at the whole picture and while they may be wrong it might be a good idea to think about it dispassionately. I have a friend who's divorced with a 9yo son. She now lives with her partner, whose 6yo and 5yo stay over at weekends. She and her partner have separate bedrooms because she's been sleeping in the same bed as her son all his life and the son felt that his place is beside his mother - so if my friend and her partner want to sleep together they have to negotiate with a child in order to do it. I think that's unhealthy, and the longer you let your son stay in your bed the harder it will be to dislodge him.