MSE Parents Club Part 16

aless02

Becles wrote: »

This thread doesn't make sense again. I wish they wouldn't merge random other threads into it as people get missed when they need support

Agreed, Becles. I get 'why' it's done, but it is incredibly annoying.

Morning all! DH is off to FINALLY do his Christmas present (got snow-cancelled last time), so he's very excited and I get another day with my little man .

Today's project is IT-related...I'm trying to reinstall Windows 7 on my netbook, but it doesn't have a CD drive (and all I have is the Windows 7 CD!), so trying to make a bootable USB...except every time I tried it yesterday, it didn't work. Grrrrr.

MDW - have fun with Sunday School! Your lessons sound WAY better than ones I ever had .

delain

Becles wrote: »

This thread doesn't make sense again. I wish they wouldn't merge random other threads into it as people get missed when they need support

Especially that last obnoxious one! Goodness me that's rude and I suspect that poster is a troll as that is not the first such post from them.

My twins have problems and would likely just get run over if I sent them out to ride their bikes alone. But hey it's obviously just me making it up :mad:

Thanks for the recipe :T

tsstss7

moonbeam2007 wrote: »

Ok here goes.

My lovely son is 3 yrs old and I am being told that I 'need to let go a bit'.

He goes to Nursery a few sessions for 2 1/2 hours but that's not the problem. I have not let him stay away from home not with anyone as I feel he is 1] very young - no rush 2] he likes being with Mummy and I love being with him too

But it's driving me mad being told 'you need to let go' 'your not doing the right thing for him' WHY??? he's 3 not 23.

Now granted he hasn't stayed anywhere, only once when I was taken into hospital over night and left the next morning I was with him by 9am and hated it not being with him. I worry I really worry and maybe Yes I worry too,,, much but he's my whole world and I really enjoy our time together. I don't need a break as people sometimes say, I don't NEED him to go away for a weekend or over night.

He only has me, his Dad has spend past 3 years popping in and out his life and hasn't seen him since july last year. I am over protective of him but isn't all Mum's??

Am I being wrong by not letting him stay away? He doesn't seem to want to when he's asked but I'm told that's my fault.

Don't know what to think

Just wanted to chip in and agree that the way you parent is up to you, only you will know if ds is ready to stay away from you whether that be in the day or overnight.

Anyway you'd bettter get used to comments like that - people love critising parents ...they are just societies natural scapegoats -esp single parents!!

HELLO :wave:everyone. I am having a fab sunday morning with ds2 eating bread from our new Panasonic breadmaker (YUM) and watching many episodes of mister maker from bbc iplayer....he loves it.

Almost recovered from my last bout of hacking cough/cold so life looking up !

SugarSpun

Becles, what size do your boys wear? Check the Fairy Exchange, I have a shirt one of them might like

I also feel confuzzled and when threads get merged because often they're threads with one or two replies and get merged into a previous page so nobody sees them and the question gets no answers, or else there's three pages of inexplicable in the middle of the thread. I'm also a bit annoyed that whoever merges them has stopped adding a little "thread merged" comment because at least that was a warning and we could go back and look. It seems a bit ... sort of discourteous without it imo.

KiKi

moonbeam2007 wrote: »

Ok here goes.

My lovely son is 3 yrs old and I am being told that I 'need to let go a bit'.

He goes to Nursery a few sessions for 2 1/2 hours but that's not the problem. I have not let him stay away from home not with anyone as I feel he is 1] very young - no rush 2] he likes being with Mummy and I love being with him too

But it's driving me mad being told 'you need to let go' 'your not doing the right thing for him' WHY??? he's 3 not 23.

Now granted he hasn't stayed anywhere, only once when I was taken into hospital over night and left the next morning I was with him by 9am and hated it not being with him. I worry I really worry and maybe Yes I worry too,,, much but he's my whole world and I really enjoy our time together. I don't need a break as people sometimes say, I don't NEED him to go away for a weekend or over night.

He only has me, his Dad has spend past 3 years popping in and out his life and hasn't seen him since july last year. I am over protective of him but isn't all Mum's??

Am I being wrong by not letting him stay away? He doesn't seem to want to when he's asked but I'm told that's my fault.

Don't know what to think

Hiya

In my experience, comments such as "you need to let go" usually aren't borne out of one issue such as not letting a child stay elsewhere overnight. Usually, they're the as a result of people's wider observations of a situation.

Regarding the sleeping over, I agree, a 3 year old doesn't really have a need to stay elsewhere. If 'nanny and grandad' want to see him and he wants to stay over and they live a long way away, I could see why a 3 year old could benefit from that. But otherwise I agree, he doesn't need to stay elsewhere.

However. Is it possible that these comments are coming from a broader perspective? He's three, and still sleeps in your bed every night OR you sleep on the floor in his room with him. You say you hate him going to nursery and that you tell him that no-one else must touch his 'bits'. He's your world, and you can't bear ever not being with him.

Whilst I completely understand your worry and protection, I *can* see why your friends and family - based on that and possibly other things they observe - think you're over-protective might need to let go a bit.

I don't think it's a staying overnight issue that they're commenting on; I think they could be concerned that your love for him is so all-consuming that he's possibly losing out by not having the confidence to be with other people, or to be alone in bed, or to be without you. He can have a protective and loving mother AND the confidence to be with others. It doesn't mean letting him stay over with other people if you don't want, but perhaps your friends / family are seeing a pattern of behaviour (like nursery, like bedtimes) that isn't good for your son in the long run.

Just my opinion, based on what you've written.
KiKi

delain

I have seen a house right by my DD's current school... also has mahoosive garden. And when I say right by I mean 200 yds away :j

my nan has agreed I can use my inheritance money for deposit etc, just appeared on rightmove today, have rung up left message and said want to see ASAP Monday will bring chequebook and pay all money same day

Wish me luck everyone

SugarSpun

Good luck delain!

This afternoon has been eventful: I have had a hair dye disaster and Miss M dropped a box on my foot, shortly after tipping a full cup of milk everywhere.

kitkat5566

Evening all

Not really had chance to catch up, got a bit confused with the merged thread so I gave up!

Good luck with the house Delain!

We're in bit of a house dilemma; my parents want us to move to a house down the road from them, yes location would be great but its a teeny tiny cottage, u walk out front door and 2 metres is a busy main road, the only heating is a open fire in the living room... and my parents cant see why I am not keen! I have lots of problems with my breathing so thats why I live in a house without a fire now.

Then theres the house me and OH went to view... it has amazing views. It has a massive garden with tree house, climbing frame, swings, slides, etc, a large balcony, lovely large rooms, lots of character, and is just perfect. Only downside is its 2 miles down a single track up a hill. Would be nice and peaceful but we would be snowed in lots in the winter. So I think we'll stay put until something else comes up

OH has left for work, he is away 3 weeks but said he will try come home for an odd day if possible. We had a row when he came home and it resulted in him saying he was going to leave me, we have since patched things up, i think he finally realises i cant do it all on my own and has helped me today before he left

*hugs* Mel I can see your having a tough time xx

kitkat5566

newmoneysaver wrote: »

Kitkat - Sorry your having a rough time (Oh, and congratulations too!) Liam was one for thrashing is arms about and also trying (and sometimes being successful) to scratch his face and waking himself up. We used one of these - I think it was about £6 from TKMaxx.

Just wanted to quote you New! I finally got around to getting one of those pods, couldn't get to TKmax but bought one new on ebay, i would definately recommend them! T calms down as soon as he is in it, he is very strong but he cant get out of it as it fastens so well, its great for putting him in while i put his eczema cream on his face, and he slept so well in it last night, he went to bed a bit late; 10pm but slept until 9.30am :eek: o well i needed the sleep! So thanks New for recommending this!!

Becles

SugarSpun wrote: »

Becles, what size do your boys wear? Check the Fairy Exchange, I have a shirt one of them might like

I never got round to joining the Fairies, so I've knocked on the door to be let in.

delain wrote: »

I have seen a house right by my DD's current school... also has mahoosive garden. And when I say right by I mean 200 yds away :j

Good luck! It's really handy living so close to school. I'm only two minutes walk away from the primary school gates, and I used to be able to watch the boys playing in the yard from the bedroom windows

Kitkat - definitely pick a house with a garden. It's so useful having somewhere safe that you can send them out to play in rather than having them in the house all of the time. We're in a quiet cul-de-sac so they're reasonably safe playing out in the front street as well.