MSE Parents Club Part 16

annie_d

My children are adults now however, I didn't let them stay anywhere with anyone until I knew they were fully able to tell me if anything had troubled them during their stay and the age of 3 is too young for that. Follow your own instincts.

pupsicola

Your son is very, very lucky to have a mum who adores him. You cant smother a child that age in too much love. Your relationship with him wont be doing him any harm. He goes to nursery and is mixing with kids his own age.

I am also a lone parent. So I am all my boys have. I do find that I try to overcompensate sometimes because they dont have their dad in their lives either. He walked away completely 2 1/2 years ago.

If you dont feel you need a break then dont feel pressured into him staying away with anyone else. It is not your fault if he does not want to go. What a silly thing for someone to say to you. Children are very intuitive, maybe he picks up on the fact that these people are not that nice and doesn't want to be with them.

Keep going you are doing a fantastic job

tanith

I do understand not letting a small child stay with friends for example but I don't get not allowing them to stay with Grandparents? My grandchildren have been having overnight stays and sleepovers with us from when they were babies and the oldest is now 23 , do you not think its sensible and confidence building to allow a child to do this especially with people you should trust implicitly? My daughters have always been comfortable with it and so have the children and its meant in the event of an emergency they can go to a Grandparent quite happily and without upset or fuss.. the youngest is always asking for a sleepover at nannies its wonderful for all of us to be so close.. and Mum knows the child is happy and safe and used to Mum leaving her on the odd occassion it happens.

Cant_Take_Any_More

He's your child. Do what you feel is right with him. There's no right or wrong. It's up to you to make decisions on these kind of things, nobody else. And nobody knows whats best for your son better than his Mummy.

nickyhutch

Mme.Hibou wrote: »

Overnight is totally different. I rarely stayed away from home as a child. I'm one of six and we always felt like my parents wanted us there, not shipping us out to relatives.

Staying at grandma's is not "shipping children out" - it's developing a relationship and bond with grandma. If you don't want to do it - fine.

nickyhutch

tanith wrote: »

I do understand not letting a small child stay with friends for example but I don't get not allowing them to stay with Grandparents? My grandchildren have been having overnight stays and sleepovers with us from when they were babies and the oldest is now 23 , do you not think its sensible and confidence building to allow a child to do this especially with people you should trust implicitly? My daughters have always been comfortable with it and so have the children and its meant in the event of an emergency they can go to a Grandparent quite happily and without upset or fuss.. the youngest is always asking for a sleepover at nannies its wonderful for all of us to be so close.. and Mum knows the child is happy and safe and used to Mum leaving her on the odd occassion it happens.

Thank you. Just what I meant.

fletch3163

My Goodness, that made me smile.

My DS is a fabulous 13 now and, apart from one night at 3 months old, he's never been away overnight. I make no apologies for it. He camped in our garden one night with a friend and one night with his dad, that's the lot!!

I spent years with people telling me I need a break from him or I needed to get my life back. Utter nonsense!! He became part of my life, not a hindrance to it for God's sake.

As a mum who had to go back to work full time when he was 3 months old there was no way I was giving him away on the weekends to allow me a social life. I had my social life before my child and I'll have one again when he's no longer a child.

You do what your heart is telling you. Your baby will be grown in quick time so you must absorb all you can. Enjoy what you have.

And for those who worry about them sleeping with you, or having their dummy longer than the others, I can testify that they don't do it in high school :rotfl:so it's all good.

Good luck and well done for being such a conscientious mum. There should be more like you in my humble opinion

JC9297

hitatotatus wrote: »

It is my policy not to allow sleepovers at friends, although they stay with their grandparents and aunt and uncles occassionally.

Just wondering why you have this policy? When my son started going to sleepovers it was with friends that he had known since the start of school, so we were friendly with their parents and knew them pretty well. Obviously if I had thought for any reason he wouldn't be well looked after or safe he would not have gone, but this was never an issue.

finaniciallyfitforfortys

only problem comes when you are ill and have to go into hospital for more than overnight. Saying that my children only ever go to grandparents or aunt. They grow up so quick so spend the time with him, enjoy him and do whats right for you both.

JC9297

fletch3163 wrote: »

My Goodness, that made me smile.

My DS is a fabulous 13 now and, apart from one night at 3 months old, he's never been away overnight. I make no apologies for it. He camped in our garden one night with a friend and one night with his dad, that's the lot!!

I spent years with people telling me I need a break from him or I needed to get my life back. Utter nonsense!! He became part of my life, not a hindrance to it for God's sake.

As a mum who had to go back to work full time when he was 3 months old there was no way I was giving him away on the weekends to allow me a social life. I had my social life before my child and I'll have one again when he's no longer a child.

You do what your heart is telling you. Your baby will be grown in quick time so you must absorb all you can. Enjoy what you have.

And for those who worry about them sleeping with you, or having their dummy longer than the others, I can testify that they don't do it in high school :rotfl:so it's all good.

Good luck and well done for being such a conscientious mum. There should be more like you in my humble opinion

Has your son not been on any school trips that involved staying away from home or any sleepovers? Not saying it is wrong but presumably he has had the opportunity to do these, my son had trips away in year 4 and year 6 of primary school and had a brilliant time.