Forgotton ?

Morglin

Either ask him where your bling is or forget it.:rolleyes:

It doesn't really matter what people spend.

Lin

Happy_Girl_2

When I read your OP, my initial thought was that you are more into this relationship than he is. When I got down to your post about him starting looking at other women in the last 2 months, I am now more convinced of it

Imo, most guys who really cared about their gf, would put some thought into getting or organising something nice for a milestone birthday. The present you received smells of a last minute thought, and not something especially chosen for you. It isn't about the cost, some of my best presents have cost very little, but the value has been in the amount of thought that has gone into the choice.

I don't get a sense that he is emotionally with you OP I'm sorry to say. I've had relationships with divorced guys and they can be emotionally detatched. This can be a problem when they are in a relationship with someone who needs more. OP, you have to ask yourself if this is what you want long term for yourself. If you want a partner who is more emotionally available, then it is time to move on. If you want to make this relationship work, you need to communicate better with him

flippin36

I think a bit differently. My OH doesn't bother much about birthdays. Even on milestone birthdays I'm lucky if I get a bunch of flowers. Its not that he doesn't care its just that he's a blokey bloke who doesn't think birthdays are a big deal. He hates shopping and has no imagination. If my OH hears that I want something will often say "I'll get you that" but it rarely appears. I think he just forgets and doesn't think its that important. My sisters boyfriend is exactly the same. You have to just accept their faults sometimes (as long as there is plenty of other nice things along the way that makes us feel special i.e I get a cup of tea made every morning).

Could there be financial problems he's keeping from you?

Perhaps he's the kind of guy who won't buy anything unless he can afford to buy the best!

Perhaps he finds shopping for jewellery intimidating. I.e doesn't have the confidence to go and choose something but doesn't want to take you because he hasn't got unlimited amount of money to spend. iykwim

There could be many, many reasons. I think the reason you are unhappy is because you told your friend and nothing has appeared. If you want to have a happy/lasting relationship with the guy you need to not measure your relationship by what your "friend" thinks of what he has or hasn't bought you. Believe me, I have been married 14 years and there are so many other important things that make a relationship work.

larmy16

Just to add to the last poster, surely our guy should be our best friend if he is the right one for us?

Brighton_belle

helena4 wrote: »

We got in the car to go back to his place and he said that these were not the main presents I was getting as its a big milestone turning 30 I said I dont need anything else the flowers and vase were enough im not the kind of person who wants things off people etc and im not into material things, anyway he said he wanted to buy me a piece of jewellery but was not sure what as in a bangle or earrings? I said no need but he kept saying no he would. Now since then he has not got me this bit of jewellry and lets be honest girls we secretly wnat something sparkly on our 30th right? so yes I was looking forward to it now I feel the moments gone it was more the sign of commitment I was looking for I guess that he thought highly of me.

I really really think you are sending him mixed messages here. You have made it clear to him that it is of no consequence or importance to you. Probably the next day his confidence may have taken a dive - dispite him telling you he wanted to repeatedly, you rebuffed him everytime.
Men just aren't mind readers I am afraid.
It is a great life skill to learn to graciously accept comliments and gifts. He should know by now you are not a taker. My OH often rebuffed when I treid to do anything nice for him and to be honest it stops you bothering trying in the end. Fortunately I have patience and have been able to teach him he is worth being cherished and treated well.

Also some men are better at showing their love in other ways. My OH is complete pants at presents, lol.

flippin36

I really really think you are sending him mixed messages here. You have made it clear to him that it is of no consequence or importance to you. Probably the next day his confidence may have taken a dive - dispite him telling you he wanted to repeatedly, you rebuffed him everytime.
Men just aren't mind readers I am afraid.
. My OH is complete pants at presents, lol.

It could be his confidence. This was my initial thought too, you put it really well.

Shineyhappy

Just a thought but do you think he might be killing two birds with one stone and putting a nice present under the Christmas tree?

I would gaze into some of the shops and admire certain pieces and if it doesnt turn up at Christmas then I would ask.

MrsTinks

Simple solution: you have been dating for 2 years right?

If after 2 years you can't be honest and ask him... then maybe you need to think about finding someone else?
18 months after meeting my DH he proposed on my birthday - I knew it was coming (been dropping the hints about styles of rings etc for AAAAGES and we knew we wanted to get married) but no idea when...
Many a time he's offered to get me something or pay for something and then hasn't - why? Because he's simply forgotten. I don't particularly mind and if I'm a bit short that month I'll just ask him if he's forgotten because I have x y z bill coming out soon etc
On the other hand I often pay our car insurances in lump sums because I save up for them - but I make him pay me back. Not because I begrudge paying it but because I know that at some point he might need to sort his own car insurance out and I want him to get in the habit of saving up for it
Often he forgets a payment and I don't hassle him for it to be fair, I do think maybe I should but heck... I love the guy and I know it's just because he's a forgetful sod... He'd give me the shirt of his back so long as there were home cooked meals and a cuddle thrown in

Rockporkchop

I would be very upset if my OH of two years didn't bother to get me anything but cheap flowers and a vase for my 30th birthday. Everyone is saying that he might be skint, but he could have saved up for her special day or otherwise bought something thoughtful but inexpensive.

Telling the OP he wanted to get her something nice is a total cop out - why didn't he just buy something in the first place? He probably knew the OP would say not to worry about it and he would be off the hook. He sounds quite tight to be honest.

Ellie2758

Thank goodness, i thought it was me for a minute!

Helena, yu give us women a bad name. Yu say one thing and mean another. for goodness sake you are thirty years old. it's time to start saying what yu mean.

peachyprice wrote: »

Sorry, I really don 't understand your gripe, you're the one insisting you pay half, even on your birthday.

You're the one who said you really didn't want anything else.



He tried that on your birthday.

You really need to make your mind up what you want, he is not a mind reader, how's he supposed to know that when you insist you want to halve the bill you don't really mean it. How's he supposed to know that when you say you really don't need jewellery you don't really mean it.

It sounds like there's a lack of communication in your relationship and until you stop playing games and expecting him to read between the lines it isn't going to change.

So next time he insist on paying the whole bill just say 'thank you very much'. If he offers you a gift accept it.