Forgotton ?

helena4_2

Hi need some opinions please I have been seeing my partner for nearly 2 years it was my 30th 2 months ago he took me out for dinner and gave me a bunch of flowers and a pretty vase, he went to pay for dinner and wanted to pay all the bill I insisted we go halves as we didnt go out for dinner on his b/day 3 weeks prior to my birthday so he said ok.

We got in the car to go back to his place and he said that these were not the main presents I was getting as its a big milestone turning 30 I said I dont need anything else the flowers and vase were enough im not the kind of person who wants things off people etc and im not into material things, anyway he said he wanted to buy me a piece of jewellery but was not sure what as in a bangle or earrings? I said no need but he kept saying no he would. Now since then he has not got me this bit of jewellry and lets be honest girls we secretly wnat something sparkly on our 30th right? so yes I was looking forward to it now I feel the moments gone it was more the sign of commitment I was looking for I guess that he thought highly of me.

I told my friend back then and now shes asking where this jewelry is and im too ashamed to say its all forgotton about, im not going to give hints to him because I dont want to seem greedy.

But when someone says your 'main' present is to come should it take over 2 months?

ps I have loaned this guy £2000 which he has paid back now all above board etc etc and he is not skint he has a good job

What would you do? x

pps please dont think im greedy or materialistic I live alone and buy what I want, the flowers still had the price tag on 3.99 and the vase looked like a less than a fiver. I spent more on him (on his not a milestone b/day) he was 31 I got him a digital photo frame and loaded pictures on to it too plus a bag full of lovely travel toiletrys for his job as he travels alot.

helena4_2

also we always pay half when out to dinner he earns double my wage but has alot of expenses (divorced 2 kids) now I dont mind but when a the bill is £20 he will gladly take the 10 cash off me then pay all he bill on his card to get 'points' on his BMI card. Dont know why but that bothers me at times sorry to sound old fashioned but sometimes it would be nice to be treated!
I know its my fault for saying I should pay half but he always eats loads more too :mad:

MrsTinks

But you're the one insisting on going halves... He might be happy to pay the whole bill but since you've insisted so often then he may feel you'd be offended if he insisted too hard at paying the bill?
And if you'er not greedy or materialistic then what does it matter if you bought him expensive things on how birthday and he's forgotten your bangle? (And who in their right mind insists on paying half of the food bill on their birthday???)

If you want to see if he still wants to buy you the pressie then next time you're out go have a look in a jewellers window with him and say "oh that's pretty - I love bangles like that"... if he says you still have your pressie to come then look amazed as you'd forgotten etc - if he doesn't say anything then maybe despite having a good income he's actually skint??? Earning a lot doesn't mean you have a lot of money - he could have huge debts from splitting from his ex?

helena4_2

I know what your saying but he could insist that I dont pay half the bill for once,we did have a conversation a while back I said I could not afford to pay for so many dinners out 2-3 time s a week is alot of money for me but was not for him and he said ok I should of thought. I only say let me pay half as im too nice I guess and dont wnat him to think im a taker, so suggested we go out less and spend nights in cooking which we enjoy too.

Yes he has huge expense due to his ex but after all taken into account he still has more money at the end of the day his kids in private schools.

peachyprice

helena4 wrote: »

, he went to pay for dinner and wanted to pay all the bill I insisted we go halves .

I said I dont need anything else the flowers and vase were enough

he said he wanted to buy me a piece of jewellery, I said no need

Sorry, I really don 't understand your gripe, you're the one insisting you pay half, even on your birthday.

You're the one who said you really didn't want anything else.

helena4 wrote: »

he could insist that I dont pay half the bill for once,.

He tried that on your birthday.

You really need to make your mind up what you want, he is not a mind reader, how's he supposed to know that when you insist you want to halve the bill you don't really mean it. How's he supposed to know that when you say you really don't need jewellery you don't really mean it.

It sounds like there's a lack of communication in your relationship and until you stop playing games and expecting him to read between the lines it isn't going to change.

So next time he insist on paying the whole bill just say 'thank you very much'. If he offers you a gift accept it.

scrounger_2

You seemed to be winding yourself up as you were typing!. Try looking in jewellers windows and say to him bluntly that you would like such and such with a smile on your face. You`ll melt his heart you see!:j

helena4_2

But people do say 'no need' when someone wnats to buy you something so as to not look greedy? I think he knows that but maybe im not the one for him

My actual words were when he said about buying me a piece of jewellery for my 30th were 'you dont have to' his words were ' I have to its a milestone your not 30 every day!' I didnt say anything to that apart from kiss him and say ok.

My post is more about the jewellry not the dinners Im tellimg everyone on here the forum im not a taker and dont need a piece os sparkle but not to him

mandragora_2

If you've been together two years you really ought to be able to tell him what's on your mind.

'I can't really afford lots of meals out, but I know you like them. How about we agree once a fortnight as a shared treat - if you want more, that's fine, but they'll need to be your treat, my dear'

'You know you said you were going to get me my main pressie and it was on it's way, well, I hope you don't mind me asking, but have you forgotten? I don't mind if you have, but it's a bit embarrassing to have to keep fobbing off Jane, who keeps asking me if I've got it yet. It's daft, I know, because it's nothing to do with her, but actually, I'm wondering myself now, too. If there isn't one, that's ok, but I'd just rather know'

Then he'll be able to tell you what he thinks and feels and you'll know.

peachyprice

But people do say 'no need' when someone wnats to buy you something so as to not look greedy? I think he knows that but maybe im not the one for him

My actual words were when he said about buying me a piece of jewellery for my 30th were 'you dont have to' his words were ' I have to its a milestone your not 30 every day!' I didnt say anything to that apart from kiss him and say ok.

My post is more about the jewellry not the dinners Im tellimg everyone on here the forum im not a taker and dont need a piece os sparkle but not to him

Then ask him when you're going shopping for it, easy peasy.

Zazen999

helena4 wrote: »

I said no need but he kept saying no he would. Now since then he has not got me this bit of jewellry and lets be honest girls we secretly wnat something sparkly on our 30th right?

If we're confused, think about how he feels - and no - not every girl secretly wants something sparkly on our 30th - or any other birthday. So you can't use that as an excuse to say he should know.

helena4_2

Hi I thought of that and think if I say that he will have to buy something when he might have not wanted to in the end?