Should I feel guilty?

aligerdie

I'll be thinking of you this weekend.

And please, don't ever feel guilty. You are doing the most selfless thing a mother could do. Letting your little one fall asleep peacefully just shows how much you truly love him.

We made the decision to withdraw treatment for our little girl. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but at the time, I knew straight away it was the right thing to do. Your natural instinct is to love and protect your children, and if they suffer, you want it to end.

Take your time with your baby, I cherish my photos, footprints, and handprints. When I close my eyes, I can still smell her skin.

Whilst you will never forget, in time you will think more rationally about your decision, and you will realise it was made with love. I admire you, I understand what you're going through, and I know how brave you must be.

Be strong, I'll think of you this weekend and say a prayer for you.

salena

Nobody should have to go through something like this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending all my love x

*CheshireBelle*

Hiya hunni, I am pretty new to this place and still kind of in the "lurking" stage, but I could not read this post without replying.

I am so sorry for what you are going through, it must be the most difficult decision a parent has to make.

I hope this poem is of some comfort to you, I am in no way a religious person - but this poem makes me weep everytime I read it, and was of great comfort to me when I miscarried at 19 weeks pregnant.
Please don't feel guilty - you are making this decision for the best, and deep in your heart you now that - however difficult it may be.

(((HUGE HUGS))) to you and your family, you are in my thoughts xxxx

I thought of you and closed my eyes; and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother and I know I heard him say..
A Mother has a baby, this we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother, when your baby's not with you?

Yes you can, he replied with confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime; and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb, but there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God, I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat; and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you, what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile with other kids and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons of Love and Life and Fear,
My Mommy Loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here"

I feel so lucky to have a Mom, who had so much love for me.
I learned my lesson very quickly, My mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep, on her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek; and whisper in her ear
"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one, your children are okay.
Your babies are here in my home; And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me, until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home; they'll be at the gates for you.

So, now you see what makes a Mother, it's the feeling in your heart.
It's the Love you had so much of, right from the very start.

xxx

6889joannew

Im thinking of you in this difficult situation,
My mother went through this over 10 years ago now she had a child 13 weeks early and he was rushed to intensive care he weighed 2lb and he was the size of my dads hand he was tiny, eventually he started growing andall was well then at the age of 7 months he came home for a day and this was the best day of our lifes.
He went back and within a few months he came down with an illness im not exactly sure what it was i think it was several things.
Within a week or so he was in a critical state they told my mother that he was suffering and if she kept him on life support hed still suffer and hell never be able to walk talk or come home.
They had to ask my mum whether she agreed to this or not because they would not do this without her consent.
My mum has me and another daughter and a son who she still in the mean time had to look after in between the time she was spending at the hospital so she had to take us into consideration also.
My mum came to a decision she didnt want my brother to die but she also decided it would be best for him to be rid of pain.
He was born on 12 september 1996 and my mum agreed to switch the machine off on the 10 april 1997 .
I always think this was for the best and his no longer in pain.
My family got a family room and we all said our goodbyes to him there it was a sad but peaceful last few hours with him.
My mum kept all his favourite toys and the clothes he wore all different little bits and pieces.
She has the box in a cupboard with it all in this is so when she needs to she has a little look through and it brings back fond memories.

I still think about him everyday and i dont think theyll be a day that goes by without thinking about him or the way he would have looked, but i have memories and they are fantastic memories.

The last few days we had with him we tried to have a moment each with him and that really helped,we made sure we spent as much time with him as we could.

I cant say whether your doing the right thing or not but do what your heart tells you to do i know you love your child but whats best for him and your family?

All the best and if you ever need a chat pm me and i may be able to help x

You should never feel guilty theres nothing more you can do for him my heart goes out to you!
((((((big hugs)))))))))))

whitewing

I wanted to add my love and support for you whenever you make your heartbreaking decision. Take care, and peace be with you all.

charlies_mum

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you are in this situation, but I am full of admiration for you. I can't even imagine what it must be like to have to make this decision, but I would hope that I could be as brave as you as you make the best decision for your son and your family.

Don't ever feel guilty, we can all do that when we lose a loved one, but you have done your best.

xx

Morty_007

It takes a wonderul mother to dedicate her life to a child, which you have done for the last 8 months for this little boy. It also takes a wonderful mother to then let that child go, free of his pain and suffering, taking that on for him by mourning his loss. You have NOTHING to feel guilty for but as a mother you probably always will. I just cannot imagine having to be strong enough to do what you know you need to do. My thoughts are with you, your son and your family at this the hardest time.

adea

Morty,sadly her little boy died on 11/01.
this is the post that help,help,help made http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1407717