Should I feel guilty?

deb68_2

OHHH my heart goes out to you and your daughter, Im so very sorry for all you are going through I do not no what to say to you.There isnt anything i could say, that would make it all better, i wish i could
sending you all my love and hugs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS AND LOVE))))))))

jaffa30

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) for you

sodamnfunky

My thoughts are with you. Not really sure what to say other than that.

wobbly

My thoughts are with you.

Becles

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I've had to make the same decision to let poorly dogs go, but having to make the decision for a child must be a million times worse.

Don't feel guilty. You're a very brave and strong lady for having the courage to release him from the pain he is in, and let him go to a peaceful place.

Keep that smile in your memory, and think of all the joy he has brought you. That's priceless and you can carry that forever so he'll always be close to you.

Take care xx

msflowerfairy

Hi,
I had my son when i was 18, and he was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.
They operated on him when he was two weeks old, and i nearly lost him many times, we even had him christened by the hospital chaplian in I.T.U
Eventually all of the ops had the effect of kidney failure and brain damage to my son, and at 4 months old he was disharged from the hospital for me to take him home to love him. At such a young age i didn't quite realise what the doctors meant by taking him home to love him, but i did, so much so my heart ached when i looked at him. We then went on holiday to West Wales with my parents and siblings to get away and try to relax.
While we were on the beach my son was in his pushchair under his shade asleep, and i went to play with my little brother to keep him entertained, and something in me made me check my son.
I went over to his pushchair, and unfortunately my son had passed away, he was exactly four months old.
The guilt i felt was unbelievable, and i went over eveything in my mind for years, thinking that if i had done something differently he would have lived. I guess what i am trying to say is i totally understand your predicement, and whatever you do for the best you will feel guilty, you wouldn't love your child unconditionally if you didn't feel guilty, but you must do what is best for your child's quality of life, this is what i chose to do, and i miss my baby every day of the week, but i also know if he had survived he would have been unable to walk, talk, sit up or do anything to achieve that quality of life.
I really feel for you, and regardless of the guilt you feel you will make the right descision for your circumstance...trust me.
PM me if you would like to talk privately, you are more than welcome xx

frannyann

Just wanted to send my love, nothing else I can say xxxxx

*Chattie*

You also need to think of your own health and that of your unborn child along with your daughter, its a shame the new baby's dad is of no help to you at this terrible time but I'm so glad you now have your own dad to help you through.

Mado

Let him go and accept that he will now be in peace.

Sometimes life sends us the worst of trials; you have done all you could and can't change it.
Maybe with time you will just be grateful that you had him at all.
Take care.
xxx

melwright

My best friend went through a similar situation, although her son was only 3 days old.
The best advice I can give it let yourself feel however you need to feel, don't bottle things up, take all the help and support you can when you need it (you maynot want anything straightaway) - don't be afraid of how you feel.
My friend found comfort on various related forums and has made some good friends for life on there as they truely understand what she is/has gone through. There are also some good supportive books (if you are a book person) and a couple of books for children to help them understand the loss.
My friend also found that her friends had different uses for her (shoulder to cry on, shout at, talk to, walk with). She found the worse thing was that people don't know what to say (do they talk about it or not etc). Use your friends - that's what they are there for.
My thoughts are with you and your family at this tragic time.
Mx