Should I feel guilty?

wannabe_sybil

So sorry for what you are going through - wishing you well.

Also, have the doctors offered anyone to talk to like a counsellor for after you have made that decision? Are there bereavement counsellors there at the hospital? Even if you are not religious, there is no reason why you cannot talk to one of the chaplains - they will able to offer support I am sure. You are having such a hard time. Please do not be alone if you need support. There are wonderful people on here and there are some lovely people out there. Also I think there is a charity called CRUSE which helps those bereaved, and the good people on here will, I am sure, know more than I.

Also, it is human to find relief if you no longer need to make the trip even if you do desperately mourn the loss of your loved one. It is not either/or - it can be both. You may find yourself desperately mixed up because really you have already done a lot of grieving, even if not consciously, so you will not perhaps feel the same as someone who has been bereaved by a sudden loss. It is important to remember that you don't have to follow rules about how you 'should' feel. You can feel contradictory emotions at the same time and you just can only feel how you feel.

If you were not a very good mother, you would have already made that decision. As it is, you are doing all you can, and a saint cannot do more. I admire and respect you a great deal for all that you have tried to do for your loved one.

All the trite phrases like 'hope this helps' or 'wishing you well' seem so inadequate, but I really hope that this stage of your life goes as well as it can.

penguin83

As a parent we always want what is best for our children and in this awful situation you have chosen what is best for your son and you shouldnt feel guilty about your decision.

Thinking of you x

wesb1980

Hi, im so sorry for what you are going through. Just over 3 years ago I had to make the desicion to take my 4 day old daughter of the machines and die in my arms. Although it was the most awful thing I have ever had to do I will never regret it as she is no longer in pain and in a much better place. I know it will be hard for you but you have to be brave.

Thinking of you

Wes:o

thatgirlsam

this thread made me cry
-
-im so sorry for what you are going through - there is no need to feel guilty for letting your boy go to a place thats free from pain - in fact, you need to be proud of yourself for letting him do that , he will always be with you x

Damzel_In_Distress

aslong as your absolutly sure your making the right decision then you shouldnt feel guilty,as long as your ok with your choice and that is whats best for your son then you should look at it as something thats been done with love-and you cant feel guilty about loving someone! good luck with everything,i really feel for you.

belfastgirl23

Feeling guilty is normal but you must see that there is absolutely nothing you can do for your son except release him. This is actually much harder for you than it is for him and of course you shouldn't feel guilty at all. But don't deny those feelings and repress them, own them. And deal with them.

I also think you should take up any offers of counselling - this is a really hard situation and you deserve all the help you can get to get through it.

helphelphelphelp

I have spoken to our local hospice and arranged for a counsellor. My daughter is already receiving this as I wanted her to be prepared.

I am also in contact with other parents who have lost children but also know that only myself and time can help me come to terms and deal with this. And that is the hard bit, knowing that it is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. And if I am feeling this bad now, not sure how much lower I can get.

Thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts.

Fag_ash_lil

Hi ....

I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through ......
Please remember that nobody can take away your memories .....
My thoughts are with you and your family .....


terri x

moneysaver12

You are in my thoughts and sending hugs.

~Chameleon~

I'm struggling to find the right words and can barely see the screen through my tears

My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this sad time xxx