Should I feel guilty?

sharon59

thinking of you -cant find any other words.x

redmel1621

As I am sat here in tears, I can't imagine what you must be going through. You do have a daughter to be thankful for and she is going to need a strong mummy to help her through this too. But don't neglect yourself, let yourself grieve and you will see a light at the end of the tunnel. Although you will never forget your darling boy, you can take comfort he will no longer be suffering.

Love to you and your family at this heartbreaking time.

Mel x

clivoclivo

His time in this world might be very short, but he was able to smile in it.....! Remember his smile..... don't let him suffer so the smile goes.

I wish you all the strenght you need xx

ceebeeby

Take your time, this is your decision to be made as and when you're ready to do it.

Can you take him home or to a separate special room (many hospitals have private rooms where Baby can lie in the arms of the family as he gently falls asleep.

Although it might sound hugely callous of me, and even if you don't feel like doing it yourself, ask the hospital to take hand prints, foot prints, change him out of his outfit, into the outfit you love him most in (keep the one you've taken off), make sure you have his favourite cuddle blanket with you, take a small hair cutting, take photographs of you and him, you, your daughter and him and any other family members (most hospitals have a medical photography department, with professional photographers, and won't object to this very human request)! Make sure and take a trusted someone along with you, even if they don't come into the room with you - but you need someone to be with you afterwards.

I pray that your son has a safe journey, and that you and your daughter can find some comfort in the joy of having known him, albeit too short.x

basil92

Words fail me, but my heart is breaking for you.

Sending love to you and your family

Take care xx

sarymclary

My sister had to make the same choice as you. She, like you, is a very brave woman. Saying goodbye to her daughter, and making the decision to allow her to be at peace, is the hardest decision she will ever have made. Somehow she found the strength to do so, and I admire her so much that she bore it with such immense dignity.
My neice was 4 months old. She was beautiful, and perfect in every way, but her heart simply wasn't capable of sustaining her.

After being told by the Drs. that her daughter was not going to improve, and that further attempts to prolong her life were, in fact, not in her best interests, or benefit, and quite possibly causing her great discomfort. My BIL was unable to deal with the enormity of the moment, and was unable to stay with my neice as she passed away. My eldest sister was closest to the hospital she was in (GOSH) and went to be with her. Together, they spent time with my neice, told her how loved she was, and then allowed her life support to be withdrawn. It was done with dignity, without medical intrusion but their quiet support, and was as peaceful as it could have been.

Like you, my sister had another daughter, who she needed to be there for, and to make sure was coping OK.

Whilst she was only with us for a short while, my neice touched all our hearts, and is remembered by us all. She would be the same age as my eldest son, so his milestones have marked what would have been her's. I thought of her last summer, when she would have had a prom dress, etc. The love doesn't die, the memories are treasured, and the grief does stay, but you learn to deal with it better with time.

My sister says it doesn't get any easier, but she has learnt to cope with it. Every birthday is a hard day to get through, but it is a significant day in the year, and marks the stamp her daughter made on this world.

May you find the strength to endure this time, and the times to come. May you have the support around you that you need (and seek it, if you don't), and know that the love you gave your perfect boy was the best love in the world, and he will have loved you so much for that.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. xxxxx

shirlgirl2004

It breaks my heart to think that you and your family are having to go through this. A mother's worst nightmare. Sending you my prayers.

chivers1977

Just wanted to send you all my thoughts and love. I will be thinking of you this weekend xx

wornoutmumoftwo

I just wanted to offer my love and my prayers for you at this time. I haven't read all the posts as it is so heartbreaking and you are so brave.

I lost my baby girl when I was 27 weeks into my pregnancy, and although I never got to know her, she is with me always in my heart and in my thoughts. I often talk to her, sometimes aloud, sometimes in my head and I write letters to her on special occassions.

adea

I can't really think of much to say other than I admire your courage and my heart goes out to you and your family.
Your little boy will be at peace soon and won't suffer any more.
My heartfelt sympathy to you.
Please don't feel guilty, for what I have read, you have done the very best for your son and are a wonderful mummy.