A not so happy relationship

MrsTinks

Steel I don't know the thread you're on about but yes that is often the problem and the cause of comments like that...
I'm not exactly skinny myself (although bulging in the right areas now added to by a babybump ) and I can assure you that getting male attention has never been a problem. My husband loves it when I get admiring glances if we're out. Some times he even hangs back so people don't think we're together and then gloat like mad when all the blokes suddenly realise I'm with him and there is a wedding ring on my finger... Bless him...
Many years ago I was in a relationship that wasn't abusive per say, but was mentally degrading me and the difference is like night and day. I went from being a quiet little mouse, not worthy of anyone's attention because that was what I'd been made to feel. Not worth anything. Then I found myself when we split and meeting my now husband made me blossom. I've changed so much, found courage to get a career that I should have earlier and it feels right... Having someone support you and be there for you when you need them and sometimes when you'd rather they weren't lol - it makes a huge difference even to someone like me who managed to get pretty independant on her own...
Obvious difference? Twice the salary I used to get and I no longer try and watch my weight like a hawk or go to WW etc (did briefly before the wedding out of vanity LOL) and instead of hiding in baggy clothes I'll get dolled up a bit and dress in something a little risky just because I like seeing my husband feel proud of me

If you don't feel like that then this guy is NOT the one

MrsTinks

Staciep88 wrote: »

Wish I could but I have a few reasons for not doing that at the moment;
1) we live at my mum and dads second house so if anyones going it sure as hell aint going to be me
2) we work at the same place - therefore came together in his car so I couldnt get home anyway. xx

In that case you ask him to leave when you get home. You might want your parents to be close by when you do this though in case he refuses. That or some male friends who can provide you with some moral support in case he gets nasty. IF he does you call 999 and the earlier in the evening you do this the better as the police will have more resources.

grey_lady

Please think about just packing up a bag and going back to your family, leave him a note saying it's over for good and change your mobile number, get a cab if you dont drive but just get away.

Dont confront him, dont let him talk you out of it - just do what's best and what's right for you, he's not going to suddenly change into the perfect nice guy that you thought he was, maybe it just took some time for his true nature to come out and this is what he is really like and will always be like and you dont want the rest of your life to be like this.

You have your whole life ahead of you and im sure you'll find someone who will treat you so well you wont believe that you put up with such crap before.

Please don't stay with this cretin for another minute, you don't deserve this you deserve much much better.

Once your home ask your parents to get him to leave the property and take a few days off work so you dont have to see him.

Staciep88

grey_lady wrote: »

Please think about just packing up a bag and going back to your family, leave him a note saying it's over for good and change your mobile number.
Dont confront him, dont let him talk you out of it - just do what's best and what's right for you, he's not going to suddenly change into the perfect nice guy that you thought he was, maybe it just took some time for his true nature to come out and this is what he is really like and will always be like and you dont want the rest of your life to be like this.

You have your whole life ahead of you and im sure you'll find someone who will treat you so well you wont believe that you put up with such crap before.

Please don't stay with this cretin for another minute, you don't deserve this you deserve much much better.

Once your home ask your parents to get him to leave the property and take a few days off work so you dont have to see him.

He says I'll never find anyone else though, what if this is true? I dont want to be alone :-(

grey_lady

Of course it's not true! that's just daft - you're going to meet someone so much nicer than him and you get to have all the fun of going out with your mates as a single girl in the meantime!

Steel_2

Oh boy!

I wish I could find that post.

That is EXACTLY one of the comments that abusive men use.

That's it. I'm going off to look for it right now.

Back soon...

xx

Steel_2

By the way, if that's your real picture, you're foxxy.

You'll be snapped up by someone....

r.mac_2

ahhhh sweetie, you will meet someone special who will treat you right. I know it sounds patronising but you are only 19. I didn't meet my husband till I was 25...and there are loads of others on the board here that will agree with me.

it's more important that you are happy, healthy and safe than part of a couple or with someone who doesn't respect you.

None of us want to be alone - but none of us are really - we all have friends family and mse'ers don't we (or at least a combo of the above).

Uniscots97

Staciep88 wrote: »

He says I'll never find anyone else though, what if this is true? I dont want to be alone :-(

C'mon, you know that isn't true. He's saying so you won't leave and degrading your confidence. Go talk to your Mum and Dad and tell them whats going on. Please.

Staciep88

Steel wrote: »

By the way, if that's your real picture, you're foxxy.

You'll be snapped up by someone....

Lol thanks - I was 16 there though! I look the same now, just without the smile