A not so happy relationship

katiekittykat

Sorry to go but have just heard on the news on the radio - that the police take a call every 60 seconds from somebody (male or female) who is being attacked by their partner.

My friend was beat up my her OH - her face swelled to twice the size and he fractured her jaw, that was the 1st and only time he did it (they didn't live together but she dumped him)

Money is not important enough to make you stay - is £1500 all your life is worth? Sounds over the top - but leave now with the debt or stay and risk your life.

I really don't want to sound hasrh - but sometimes being blunt and telling people straight can save a life, and if one person reading this decides to leave a violent partner and their life is saved - i think it was worth it.

xxx

Staciep88

katiekittykat wrote: »

Sorry to go but have just heard on the news on the radio - that the police take a call every 60 seconds from somebody (male or female) who is being attacked by their partner.

My friend was beat up my her OH - her face swelled to twice the size and he fractured her jaw, that was the 1st and only time he did it (they didn't live together but she dumped him)

Money is not important enough to make you stay - is £1500 all your life is worth? Sounds over the top - but leave now with the debt or stay and risk your life.

I really don't want to sound hasrh - but sometimes being blunt and telling people straight can save a life, and if one person reading this decides to leave a violent partner and their life is saved - i think it was worth it.

xxx

Ha, I was listening to that also. thank you xx

katiekittykat

Staciep88 wrote: »

Ha, I was listening to that also. thank you xx

No prob's if you need to talk i am only a PM away

xx

RedBern

what you decide to do is up to you.

However as a mum of a daughter (who is a little older than you - living at home and driving me absolutely bonkers!;)) - I'd welcome here home like a shot if I thought she was unhappy in a relationship like you are at the moment. I'm sure your parents want you to be safe and happy in that order - you won't get the one without the other I'm afraid. You've the rest of your life ahead of you - living at home aged 20 is not a failure.

Steel_2

Do you know why he says things like that to you?

Because he's frightened you'll leave.

He's the one who couldn't really cope on is own. He thinks if you lose weight, you'll become even more attractive to other men and you might suddenly realise what a pr1ck he is and leave.

Somewhere on these forums is a fantastic post by someone who works as a counsellor and a lot of women tell her about the comments their horrible partners say to them and time and again they are the EXACT same comments designed to knock their confidence and make them feel dependent.

Does anyone know where that is?

I think (but can't be 100% sure) it was relating to an post by Witsend whose guy had told her she was too fat to be loved and various other things designed to get her to stay.

Steel_2

By the way, 13lbs in 3 weeks is incredible. Well done!!

Next time that fat head makes a sarky comment about your weight, point out that there is a very easy way for you to lose around 13 stone of excess weight and point him towards the door.

No, actually don't in case it triggers him off. But think it in your head and it will make you smile. That will really annoy him because you are supposed to crumple is agony when he makes nasty comments about your weight.

Staciep88

Steel wrote: »

Do you know why he says things like that to you?

Because he's frightened you'll leave.

He's the one who couldn't really cope on is own. He thinks if you lose weight, you'll become even more attractive to other men and you might suddenly realise what a pr1ck he is and leave.

Somewhere on these forums is a fantastic post by someone who works as a counsellor and a lot of women tell her about the comments their horrible partners say to them and time and again they are the EXACT same comments designed to knock their confidence and make them feel dependent.

Does anyone know where that is?

I think (but can't be 100% sure) it was relating to an post by Witsend whose guy had told her she was too fat to be loved and various other things designed to get her to stay.

I suppose you right, I hadnt really thought of it tbh, I just thought that he was horrible cuz I deserved it. Thank you, I will look for that thread x

Staciep88

Steel wrote: »

By the way, 13lbs in 3 weeks is incredible. Well done!!

Next time that fat head makes a sarky comment about your weight, point out that there is a very easy way for you to lose around 13 stone of excess weight and point him towards the door.

No, actually don't in case it triggers him off. But think it in your head and it will make you smile. That will really annoy him because you are supposed to crumple is agony when he makes nasty comments about your weight.

Haha thats funny! That will make me smile. x

Emmzi

you don't need to have a conversation where you might 'crumble'. You just need to pack a bag, and walk out, when he isn't there. first chance you get. Leave work early if you have to. Please a stomach bug, migraine, whatever. A conversation will make no difference if you know you have to go, It isn't 'kind', itr isn't 'neccessary', it's just drawing out the agony. If your stuff is gone, he'll know what's happened, and no amount of talking with make it any easier for either of you. Pack. Go. Today. Any good reason not to? Reason - not excuse.

Staciep88

Emmzi wrote: »

you don't need to have a conversation where you might 'crumble'. You just need to pack a bag, and walk out, when he isn't there. first chance you get. Leave work early if you have to. Please a stomach bug, migraine, whatever. A conversation will make no difference if you know you have to go, It isn't 'kind', itr isn't 'neccessary', it's just drawing out the agony. If your stuff is gone, he'll know what's happened, and no amount of talking with make it any easier for either of you. Pack. Go. Today. Any good reason not to? Reason - not excuse.

Wish I could but I have a few reasons for not doing that at the moment;
1) we live at my mum and dads second house so if anyones going it sure as hell aint going to be me
2) we work at the same place - therefore came together in his car so I couldnt get home anyway. xx