Stashing money to leave.........

Mrs_Weasley

well i've got finally got over the trauma of my post disappearing:rotfl:

Things are still going well in the house of mayhem!! I can't believe how calm everything is :T

The trouble is now though after 7 years of living a whirlwind life (as bertie put it), the kids are still shall we say uptight, i have spent so long rushing about, stressed, feeling like a single parent etc, all i seem to have done is shout and scream at them, since i 've calmed everything down i have taken time to watch them.. and i have to say its scarey, my daughter inparticular seems to be copying the way i was she shouts at people, screams at us over the simplist things:eek: and yes i do feel really terrible about this!

I don't know if thers a easy solution to remedy this.....so far i am just remaining calm explaining that there is no need to shout and scream at us i am hoping its not too late (she is 6)

any suggestions on how i can help her please

Right oh off to work...sorry it always seems short and not so sweet doesn't it?:rotfl:

Savvy_Sue

I'm quite sure if she's only 6 then it's not too late. 16, on the other hand ... so don't leave it!

And I'm also of the opinion that at 6 she is old enough to have a 'sensible' conversation with. Well, you know her best, but I would be thinking of taking her out for a girly treat - hot chocolate and marshmallows, knickerbocker glory, whatever floats your boat - and a little chat. "Maybe you've noticed just recently that Mummy and Daddy are getting on better and not shouting at each other so much, and I am sorry that while I was unhappy with Daddy I used to shout at you a lot as well. I don't think that was a good thing to do, and I hope you feel happier now I'm not so shouty. So do you think you could be a bit less shouty as well, and we will try to talk about the things which make you unhappy?" That kind of thing ...

Not having had girls, I have no idea how that would pan out. Others may have better advice - and of course she may just gradually realise that shouting doesn't help, and is no longer necessary, and isn't what you do any more!

Zoetoes

Mrs_Weasley wrote: »

OK background info needed then you can make your own up your own minds as to whether i am 'off on a jolly'!


8wks after having DS i found out he was planning to throw me out so he could move in with my 'friend' who's house i had stayed at..they never slept together but had become very close and concocted a plan!

should have left then!

moved house DD arrived 13 months after DS

got computer and then found he had been on porno sites!he didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with that


he goes to bed between 7 and 8am gets up at 3.25pm when i come from school with kids, i go to work he feeds the kids everyhting has to be ready for their tea cos he can't cook! I come home from work and make our tea, he then spends rest of evening laid on settee til 9pm when he gets ready for work, its like that 5 nights a week. weekends saturday he is at home with kids while i'm at work but he doesn't take them to the park or anything
i come home play with kids etc make tea, he then spends evening laid on settee watching tv, sunday i go to parents with kids he stays in bed til i wake him at 1pm ish but doesn't get up til 2ish! i make tea bath kids he goes to work etc.

he can't drive, doesn't decorate, can't diy, doesn't do gardening although he does cut grass! he can't cook, has only been bathing kids 1 night a week:eek: (they are in bed when i come in from work) i do weekend bath.

Is that enough so far:o I am sure other things will spring to mind later off to get him up now its monday he has an eaxtra lie in:mad:

A lot of this sounds like my OH, although I can't even get him to cut the grass.

He also runs the bar at his cricket club, so for example, this weekend he'll be there Friday night, Saturday night and all day Sunday, he works full time in the week, as do I, so when does he have time with the kids? He doesn't get paid for it, he just likes to do it as it's a social thing, he plays there and spends the whole season (April - Sept) down there Thursday nights, Friday nights, Saturday all day until early hours and Sunday all day and night (although the kids are there a lot in the season too).

I feel the same as you, been plodding along for long enough now and I'm bored of it.

I might even start a little stash of my own, I hadn't thought about that.

Good luck, I hope you do whatever is best for you either way.

Mrs_Weasley

thanks savvy sue, i think what you said about a girly treat is a good idea.....not being very maternal (34 when i decided to have kids) i do struggle with motherhood......if it weren't for bertie i would have given up a long time ago, she must get sick of me phoning her:rotfl:

She is very much like me, and thats without her copying me:eek:

thanks mrs w xxx

Pssst

Can i just ask whos money is being stashed here? Also lets not forget that;

(1) Some men might like to stash cash and do a runner also

and

(2) In some cases,if you simply ask your husband,he might pay you to go..!

Mrs_Weasley

psst!!! did you read the end of the thread? I AM NOT LEAVING:D

everything has been sorted out and we are all loved up(!) now!!!

stashing money to has changed...........save for a new car!!!!

bertiebots

Mrs_Weasley wrote: »

thanks savvy sue, i think what you said about a girly treat is a good idea.....not being very maternal (34 when i decided to have kids) i do struggle with motherhood......if it weren't for bertie i would have given up a long time ago, she must get sick of me phoning her:rotfl:

She is very much like me, and thats without her copying me:eek:

thanks mrs w xxx

.....and what is that supposed to mean??? I thought I was such an organised:cool: , sensible:p , level headed:rolleyes: individual you were copying me:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :beer: !!

You phone me anytime you like hun;) :A

Pssst

Mrs_Weasley wrote: »

psst!!! did you read the end of the thread? I AM NOT LEAVING:D

everything has been sorted out and we are all loved up(!) now!!!

stashing money to has changed...........save for a new car!!!!

Thats great Mrs Weasley and I'm glad you've had a good chat about it and are now luvdup again. Mine was only a general comment and not specific to you.

aitch-aitch

Mrs_Weasley wrote: »

well i've got finally got over the trauma of my post disappearing:rotfl:

Things are still going well in the house of mayhem!! I can't believe how calm everything is :T

The trouble is now though after 7 years of living a whirlwind life (as bertie put it), the kids are still shall we say uptight, i have spent so long rushing about, stressed, feeling like a single parent etc, all i seem to have done is shout and scream at them, since i 've calmed everything down i have taken time to watch them.. and i have to say its scarey, my daughter inparticular seems to be copying the way i was she shouts at people, screams at us over the simplist things:eek: and yes i do feel really terrible about this!

I don't know if thers a easy solution to remedy this.....so far i am just remaining calm explaining that there is no need to shout and scream at us i am hoping its not too late (she is 6)

any suggestions on how i can help her please

Right oh off to work...sorry it always seems short and not so sweet doesn't it?:rotfl:

I have an 11 year old DD and 2 DS (10 & 5) so know where you are coming from. I think you really hit the nail on the head when you said she seems to be copying you. Best solution then would be to lead by example the other way - stop shouting and approach anything you say to her in a calm manner. Also girly day out sounds gr8.

I went through a stressful time in my life about a year ago and found myself shouting at the husband and kids all the time instead of telling them how I feel. Kids started acting the same way. Took me a while to accept that they were just copying how I dealt with things.

Things have calmed down now and I took myself out of the situation I was in for the sake of my family (basically changed jobs). I'm a lot calmer now and so are the kids.

Kids learn by example - good or bad - so try to be good (easier said than done sometimes I know, especially when it's TOTM!!).

Really pleased for you that you have worked out issues with OH. Good luck for the future.

H

Savvy_Sue

BTW, I can't hear anyone who's shouting at me. Never have been able to. Sometimes I whisper back to say as much.

Just like I can't hear anyone who doesn't say Please and Thank you. Certainly can't hear a teenage boy who shakes his (long) hair over his face and then mumbles into the remnants of his facial hair ... :rotfl: