Hubbie cheating

Loretta

Poppykins wrote: »

Thanks Loretta. I will see if I can book an appointment with a solicitor as I do need to know my position. I guess as the major breadwinner and the one that pays for everything I could lose alot.

I doubt if you would lose anything, I don't suppose that you earn so much that you could run your house and support your child and have enough left over to support another adult! I don't know how long you have been together but I suspect not that long as your child is so young. Perhaps this man of yours could start supporting himself, I don't suppose he would consider paying towards his child's keep if you seperated. Presume that you will be on your own and plan for the worst scenario.

Do you have your own bank account? if not open one now just in case, make sure he can't empty any joint account

All these sort of men say all this about going for custody, they also say that you could never manage without them, no one else will want you, you are a bad mother because you are always at work etc I am sure other people will add a few of these too!

Make sure you have everything in place before you say a word, proof which he cannot wriggle out of and knowing what your legal and financial position would be. You will feel more confident when you confront him

Ms_Chocaholic

Poppy, sending you some hugs and thinking of you.

Have you any friends you could confide in who would be able to keep an eye out for him and play private detective.

ailuro2

Gather more proof.

Then...


Swop your number for hers in the phone so when he texts her he will actually be texting you....? Reply fairly blandly, nothing to make him suspicious. Repeat phrases of previous texts etc.

Then you'll have more evidence, and when he asks why you did it say you knew he'd accuse you of being paraniod, and that's why you have photocopies of bank statements etc. and have them stored online where he can't dispose of them.

If you see no return from this, then take legal advice on one of those 'free time' periods he is offering you.

It has to be said while your DD is under a year old that thigns do get really tough and if you can come through this as a couple then there is hope for a long term future. Some men have fragile egos and feel shoved out etc. That's not you or your DDs fault though, he needs to get over it and grow up!

Best wishes to you, hang in there, and remember you are the one with the earning power, not him!!

shellsuit

ailuro2 wrote: »

Gather more proof.

Then...


Swop your number for hers in the phone so when he texts her he will actually be texting you....? Reply fairly blandly, nothing to make him suspicious. Repeat phrases of previous texts etc.

Then you'll have more evidence, and when he asks why you did it say you knew he'd accuse you of being paraniod, and that's why you have photocopies of bank statements etc. and have them stored online where he can't dispose of them.

If you see no return from this, then take legal advice on one of those 'free time' periods he is offering you.

It has to be said while your DD is under a year old that thigns do get really tough and if you can come through this as a couple then there is hope for a long term future. Some men have fragile egos and feel shoved out etc. That's not you or your DDs fault though, he needs to get over it and grow up!

Best wishes to you, hang in there, and remember you are the one with the earning power, not him!!

Good idea in theory, but if she texts him first after Poppy has done this, her hubby will know straight off that something odd has happened with his phone.

ailuro2

Ah, good point!

never thought of that, maybe I'm not such a good spy after all!:rolleyes:

sorry!

shellsuit

ailuro2 wrote: »

Ah, good point!

never thought of that, maybe I'm not such a good spy after all!:rolleyes:

sorry!

Don't be sorry!

I thought it was a good idea at first until I thought about her texting him first!


Annie, are you still there? How are you feeling this evening? x

headoutthesand

Hi poppykins

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through - I am going through the same thing just now.

I found out last Thursday but have yet to confront my Husband. We have 2 boys so I am taking my time to get as much as possible so that I have good reason for throwing him out

I checked him phone bill - 294 messages to her in 1 month
calls to a B&B on dates where he lost a days pay
deleted calls list and msgs on his phone
phone bills going missing

Then I noticed that he had swapped her number round with a friends number so avoid suspicion.

I am still doing more digging but this week I...

made and kept an appointment with CAB
arranged a new deal on our mortgage with same bank to avoid a long,drawn out process
transferred the odd £5 etc to my own saving each day
trawled through various websites to get more ideas on how to catch him
drove round his work car park to get a note of the girls car registration

An idea that might work for you and I am planning on using it tomorrow.....leave the babymoniter plugged in/on but hidden in the room where he is most likely to go on the phone then listen in from another room.

I bought a sim card reader too for £50 and it doesn't work.

My advice is to get as much proof as possible and write everything down in a diary so that if things do get heated or he started giving excuses, you can look at your notes and keep on track.

Good luck - and take it one step at a time

ailuro2

Can you run out of credit on your phone and say you need to take his with you shopping or whatever, see how he reacts when you ask to borrow it?

shellsuit

headoutthesand wrote: »

Hi poppykins

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through - I am going through the same thing just now.

I found out last Thursday but have yet to confront my Husband. We have 2 boys so I am taking my time to get as much as possible so that I have good reason for throwing him out

I checked him phone bill - 294 messages to her in 1 month
calls to a B&B on dates where he lost a days pay
deleted calls list and msgs on his phone
phone bills going missing

Then I noticed that he had swapped her number round with a friends number so avoid suspicion.

I am still doing more digging but this week I...

made and kept an appointment with CAB
arranged a new deal on our mortgage with same bank to avoid a long,drawn out process
transferred the odd £5 etc to my own saving each day
trawled through various websites to get more ideas on how to catch him
drove round his work car park to get a note of the girls car registration

An idea that might work for you and I am planning on using it tomorrow.....leave the babymoniter plugged in/on but hidden in the room where he is most likely to go on the phone then listen in from another room.

I bought a sim card reader too for £50 and it doesn't work.

My advice is to get as much proof as possible and write everything down in a diary so that if things do get heated or he started giving excuses, you can look at your notes and keep on track.

Good luck - and take it one step at a time

Aww hun, you too?

There must be something in the water! Have to say though, I take my hat off to you for playing it cool (so to speak). Hope you and the little ones are OK xx

shellsuit

ailuro2 wrote: »

Can you run out of credit on your phone and say you need to take his with you shopping or whatever, see how he reacts when you ask to borrow it?

Good idea!