Hubbie cheating

Bungarm2001

OP...PLEASE, I repeat...do not under any circumstances confront her. You'll put yourself in a very vulnerable position, and as I said, its HIM you need to deal with. HE is the one that is married to you and doing this to you. She might not even know hes married. Don't worry, she'll get her comuppance one day, but for your sake, keep your distance.

What good would it do for the OP to confront her with her child?? All this will do is provide an outlet for all the anger and hurt to come out at the wrong person, when it should all be aimed squarely at the cheating bloke. To have her child witnessing it too...NOT good...a terrible idea in fact.

Paparika

I'd discretely get his mobile and text her telling her not to break up your marriage and then delete the number

pinkshoes

Bungarm2001 wrote: »

OP...PLEASE, I repeat...do not under any circumstances confront her. You'll put yourself in a very vulnerable position, and as I said, its HIM you need to deal with. HE is the one that is married to you and doing this to you. She might not even know hes married. Don't worry, she'll get her comuppance one day, but for your sake, keep your distance.

What good would it do for the OP to confront her with her child?? All this will do is provide an outlet for all the anger and hurt to come out at the wrong person, when it should all be aimed squarely at the cheating bloke. To have her child witnessing it too...NOT good...a terrible idea in fact.

I think you'll find it's down to personal preference. If I found out my OH was cheating and we had kids, I would love to confront the woman who thinks it's OK to destroy a family. If she didn't know he was married, then what a good time for her to find out!! If I found out she had a husband, I would probably confront him first/instead. It would make me feel a lot better!

I only said take the child as she can't exactly leave the child with him, and child is too young to understand what's going on.

Believe me my OH would also be severely punished.

annie_d

I don't blame the other woman at all. She isn't the one who made the promises, the husband(s) did. They are the ones in the wrong. The women are just chancers, they could be anybody.

brownbabygirl

pinkshoes wrote: »

, and child is too young to understand what's going on..

Wrong. I believe children can sense a lot of what we think they miss.

something_girl

I like that booking a Travelodge and coming back at 6am... that sounds exactly what I would do!

Bungarm2001

Personal preference would come into it, yes, and a knee-jerk reaction such as confronting the other woman in these circumstances would be completely expected, but look at it this way...if this lady went to confront the other woman, not only would this meeting deflect the anger away from the person who caused it and deserves it, (in other words the husband,) it would also cause him to jump to the other womans defence giving the cheated wife even more pain and despair...believe me, I know this.

Could you imagine how the OP would feel when that happened?

Men are so predictable in these situations. He would definitely defend her, and the wife would be an easy target for the bloke to shift the blame to.

He might even use that meeting and the results of it as an excuse to leave (probly not such a bad thing, but...)

The actions of her husband, by defending the other person would cause so much pain and misery that will go on and on, and all on top of what he has already done. Her self esteem will hit rock bottom, and far from making her feel better, feel somehow that justice was done, she will feel again like somehow it was all her fault.

No, far better to collect enough irrefutable evidence, then hit HIM with it when he's least expecting it, and there's no place to run.

I can't emphasise enough the true worth of the element of surprise.

It's priceless.

Poppykins

Thanks to you all for the support. Update is I confronted him late last night - told him I had looked at his phone and wanted an explanation. He said that it was just a flirty text message scenerio. He is very upset and answered any questions I had.

This morning I texted the lady concerned and she replied. She could not apologise enough (aparently she also is married and has teenage kids).

I have decided to take some time to think over things as my emotions are all over the place. I would like it to work with my hubbie but things will have to be VERY different!

thanks for all the bank account/CAB advice. We do not have any joint accounts, thankfully.

Thanks again - the support has been overwhelming. Annie really hope you are ok.x

shellsuit

Poppykins wrote: »

Thanks to you all for the support. Update is I confronted him late last night - told him I had looked at his phone and wanted an explanation. He said that it was just a flirty text message scenerio. He is very upset and answered any questions I had.

This morning I texted the lady concerned and she replied. She could not apologise enough (aparently she also is married and has teenage kids).

I have decided to take some time to think over things as my emotions are all over the place. I would like it to work with my hubbie but things will have to be VERY different!

thanks for all the bank account/CAB advice. We do not have any joint accounts, thankfully.

Thanks again - the support has been overwhelming. Annie really hope you are ok.x

Well done you for confronting them! :T

If it was just a texting scenario, why were they planning to meet up & did he mention how he had 'met' this lady? That's the most important thing as you need to know if he is likely to bump into her again and again so I hope he isn't lying to you :rolleyes:

It sounds as though the lady crapped her pants when you text her, hopefully they will both realise how stupid they have been and what they could lose/have lost if they had kept it up.

Good Luck with it Poppy xxx

CB1979_2

if you're based near surrey/croydon area, i'd happily act as Private Detective.