Hubbie cheating

Bungarm2001

Well done Poppy...that took a lot of courage and fortitude!!

I know your emotions will be all over the place right now so just take time to have a bit of a breather..time for yourself, then all the answers to all the questions you have for yourself will come.

Although it doesn't feel like it now, you will get thru this.

Maybe have a short break, away from him so you can think clearly without his influence. You hold all the cards..make him sweat.

He HAS to understand how hurt you are, so make it clear to him how close he still is to losing you, and everything that goes with you. Zero tolerance from now on until you can learn to trust him again.

I truly wish you ALL the luck in the world and for whatever you wish for yourself.

Take care x

headoutthesand

something_girl wrote: »

I like that booking a Travelodge and coming back at 6am... that sounds exactly what I would do!

Knowing my luck I'd do this and meet him and her there :rotfl: :rotfl:
One of the phone calls on my OH phone bill was to a travel lodge 15 miles away

Well done on confronting him. Do not take everything he says at face value. Remember he will be saying what you want to hear. Also to echo what OP says - why were they arranging to meet up .

I'm sorry to hijack your post but there are lots of lovely people giving advice and comfort on here that I feel enticed to post.

I sat last night and waited on him coming home so that I could get a note of the registration of her car only to see that her husband dropped him off.

I found out loads about her though and will be using my big plan in the morning.

Unfortunatly (and I swear it never rains but it pours) I think my beautiful, loving, much loved nana will be visiting heaven in the next day or two and I feel that I may end up confronting him when I am at my lowest. I would rather wait but to know that he will be acting all sorry etc when he is being so decietful is too hard to take. It is also DS1 birthday tomorrow so that'll be fun.

Thanks again for everything people are suggestions and for all the words of encouragement:T :T :T :T

annie_d

Poppy, Thankyou. You need more help than me, you have a baby. The pressure from all sides is tremendous.

How amazingly, wonderfully kind of CB1979.

Good luck Poppy, that's all I can say. It often comes down to luck.

I haven't spoken for a day now. I have no words to say. I just shut down, i Ithink it must be a a "saving" mechanism so i don't suffer. Things pass, que sera sera, time heals, all those cliches.

I have a very responsible job and i cannot afford to falter there so i have to keep head down and keep going. We shall see. x and good thoughts to all those who needs them.

Ms_Chocaholic

shellsuit wrote: »

Don't be sorry!

I thought it was a good idea at first until I thought about her texting him first!


Annie, are you still there? How are you feeling this evening? x

Depending on what name her number is stored under in his phone, could you add a full stop at the end or change a letter for a number, ie a I for a number 1, or an 0 for an O you might get away with it that way.

k1mmie

Well done on confronting him. I know how hard that is. Listen to what others say and don't believe him completely at this stage. He will have been caught on the hop and may not have given you the entire truth. I know my husband panicked when I first thought I had proof and he lied through his teeth to cover it up. I did not believe him but needed further proof. It is the emotional heartbreak that is caused through all the lying and deceit. I don't think men understand how much this hurts. They think if its not physical then its nothing major.

Even after this is all out in the open and you have made your decision on what you want to do, the after effects stay on for a lot longer. I am certainly more emotional, not sure if I will trust him completely again,.

One thing is for sure it made me realise not to be so complacent about my marriage. I never saw this coming at all.

Scarlett1

Poppykins wrote: »

Thanks to you all for the support. Update is I confronted him late last night - told him I had looked at his phone and wanted an explanation. He said that it was just a flirty text message scenerio. He is very upset and answered any questions I had.

This morning I texted the lady concerned and she replied. She could not apologise enough (aparently she also is married and has teenage kids).

I have decided to take some time to think over things as my emotions are all over the place. I would like it to work with my hubbie but things will have to be VERY different!

thanks for all the bank account/CAB advice. We do not have any joint accounts, thankfully.

Thanks again - the support has been overwhelming. Annie really hope you are ok.x

glad you are feeling a little more positive but I would still keep an eye on things as I think he has fobbed you off a bit, its not called flirting when you tell someone you are unhappy at home, I think thats an insult to your marriage as if he has any issues he should be talking to you about them, as it stands I think he has a lot more to lose than you have if things turned sour between yourselves

BallandChain

Headoutthesand, sorry to hear about your nana. It's all happening at once for you and my thoughts are with you. Please keep us updated on what's happening.

To the other ladies suffering with a cheating spouse, I've not been on the receiving end (or cheated myself) so I can only imagine what you are going through. I really hope things work out and there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I'll carry on reading this thread as it has made interesting reading especially some of the detective work going on. I wouldn't have thought of half the suggestions on how to catch him out! I like the way you think.

loftus

BallandChain wrote: »

To the other ladies suffering with a cheating spouse

And to the men too!

BallandChain

Sorry I was talking about the ladies on this thread with a cheating spouse, but yes I do feel for the guys too.

loftus

Yeah I realise that - and having been on the wrong end, I feel for all the people on here going through it now. Whatever the outcome life can get better. I remember how I felt immediately after and never thought I would come out the other end.
Thoughts with you all - good luck.