Hubbie cheating

annie_d

U ok Poppy? I am strong...i will survive! LOL I am living on cliches!

Poppykins

Annie-d I am ok. I too am strong. I guess life is full of ups and downs and we have to take each day as it comes.

Everyone else, thanks so much again. Headoutofthesand - my thoughts are with you.

I am going to have a break from these boards for awhile - see if I can make my best attempts at getting it all sorted.

Best wishes to you all.x

headoutthesand

BallandChain wrote: »

Headoutthesand, sorry to hear about your nana. It's all happening at once for you and my thoughts are with you. Please keep us updated on what's happening.

Evening folks. Time for update...

OH was working night shift friday night so I took his phone yesterday morning and text a very simple msg to see what type of reply I got. It worked - hook line and sinker :T

It ended up with me sending a few to see what replies I got and she ended up asking to meet up.

OH then got up and started looking for his phone in a panic so I fled the house with his phone in my bag - hair not combed, teeth not brushed :rotfl:

I then phoned him from my sisters house and told him I knew everything. He did try to deny it but I told him that I had the pshyical proof I needed and that I knew he knew I knew :rolleyes:

He admitted everything. I then called her and told her that he had admitted everything but she still denied it. I told her that she had been texting me and not him - she hung up :rotfl:

I then called his parent to inform them of the situation (it felt good)

I have told him that I want him out within the week as I do not want my mum to know what has been happening...my nana passed away last night so my mum really doesn't need this at all.

He is extremly sorry and is begging for forgivness but he aint getting any. He says it wasn't an affair as he only had sex with her 5 times (once in a travel lodge, 4 times in her car).

I want him out but I am surprised at how calm I have been. I've been joking about it. We had DS1 bday party today which was a bit rubbish but I was able to be very civil to him. He is now in bed worrying about what he is wanting to do and where he is going to go.

I feel like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I think because of what has happened with my nana it has given me more important things to worry about and in a way it seems like things aren't really happening. All in all I was starting to feel as though I had been messing around.

I hope everyone else in this situation acts on the info they have because living with a cheating partner is very hard and I found that I was starting to resent everything he did. I just felt like screaming - I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU

HOTS

Voice_of_reason_5

I do feel for you but everyone will have a difernet opinion on here and you'll end up really confused. I really agree with Pandora that Relate is your best option and you can go alone too.

Best wishes and a hug.

Voice_of_reason_5

headoutthesand wrote: »

Evening folks. Time for update...

OH was working night shift friday night so I took his phone yesterday morning and text a very simple msg to see what type of reply I got. It worked - hook line and sinker :T

It ended up with me sending a few to see what replies I got and she ended up asking to meet up.

OH then got up and started looking for his phone in a panic so I fled the house with his phone in my bag - hair not combed, teeth not brushed :rotfl:

I then phoned him from my sisters house and told him I knew everything. He did try to deny it but I told him that I had the pshyical proof I needed and that I knew he knew I knew :rolleyes:

He admitted everything. I then called her and told her that he had admitted everything but she still denied it. I told her that she had been texting me and not him - she hung up :rotfl:

I then called his parent to inform them of the situation (it felt good)

I have told him that I want him out within the week as I do not want my mum to know what has been happening...my nana passed away last night so my mum really doesn't need this at all.

He is extremly sorry and is begging for forgivness but he aint getting any. He says it wasn't an affair as he only had sex with her 5 times (once in a travel lodge, 4 times in her car).

I want him out but I am surprised at how calm I have been. I've been joking about it. We had DS1 bday party today which was a bit rubbish but I was able to be very civil to him. He is now in bed worrying about what he is wanting to do and where he is going to go.

I feel like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I think because of what has happened with my nana it has given me more important things to worry about and in a way it seems like things aren't really happening. All in all I was starting to feel as though I had been messing around.

I hope everyone else in this situation acts on the info they have because living with a cheating partner is very hard and I found that I was starting to resent everything he did. I just felt like screaming - I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU

HOTS

Stay strong. Sounds like you were too good for him anyway (paying all the bills and everything).

BallandChain

Thanks for the update Headoutthesand. I've been thinking about you today and hoping you are ok. I'm sorry to hear your nana passed away and you have had to deal with a birthday party (I know it would have been more enjoyable in more better circumstances) and cheating husband all at once.

You sound like a strong lady and I really don't know how you are keeping it all together the way you are. I'm glad you got your proof as without that, like others have said, he would deny and play mind games. I don't know where he gets off thinking having sex 5 times (and the rest!) is somehow better than admitting to an affair.

I just wanted to say my thoughts are with you and you are one helluva lady! Good luck with everything and please let us know how you are doing.

skintchick

headoutthesand wrote: »

He is extremly sorry and is begging for forgivness but he aint getting any. He says it wasn't an affair as he only had sex with her 5 times (once in a travel lodge, 4 times in her car).

:eek: :eek: :eek: :mad:

!!!!!!? OF COURSE it was an affair!!! What planet is he on?

You stay strong and boot him to the kerb hon.
:A

k1mmie

Hugs to you. I know how hard this is must have been to confront him.

The trouble I have understanding is where do men draw the line and classify it as cheating.

This must be so hard for you, when I found out my husband was just talking and emailing someone, the emotional trust was gone.

We are trying to build on our relationship and the only thing keeping me from kicking him out permanently was the fact that I know he did not sleep with her or any physical contact. I could not live with that.

I send you best wishes and whatever your decisions, lots of support.

Mojisola

headoutthesand wrote: »

He says it wasn't an affair as he only had sex with her 5 times (once in a travel lodge, 4 times in her car).

If this is his attitude, he needs to go! Caught redhanded and he still can't see that he's done anything wrong!

Be strong - you've got a lot to cope with. I hope you've got some good friends/family to support you through this.

Rob_The_Bantam

k1mmie wrote: »

1. The trouble I have understanding is where do men draw the line and classify it as cheating.

2. This must be so hard for you, when I found out my husband was just talking and emailing someone, the emotional trust was gone.

3. We are trying to build on our relationship and the only thing keeping me from kicking him out permanently was the fact that I know he did not sleep with her or any physical contact. I could not live with that.

1. Not to speak for all blokes, but anyone with a bit if intellect knows he's doing something wrong if he won't tell the OH about it. It's just that blokes are more inclined to try to lie their way out of situations and, if the excuse that it meant nothing might work, it'll get used. Been there before myself, hated myself for saying it, but did it anyway to save my own skin. Whatever you're thinking of me, I'd most likely agree.

2. Not that easy, but if he's done it once and been forgiven, he may see it as a pass to do it again. Only you know the ins and outs of your relationship and you catching him out may have given him the kick up the proverbial to wise up, but some blokes will take it as a green light to do it again if they can get out of it - again, talking from first hand experience.

3. As above, I don't doubt that you have things back on track in your relationship, but this may be the exception rather than the rule. Chances are, if a bloke gets a shot at having sex with the other woman, he'll do it and worry about the consequences afterwards.

I know the above doesn't make me sound good, but it brings a bit of balance to the discussion. If you suspect something's going on, you're most probably right. And it can (and maybe will) be denied again and again, to the point where he will look you in the eye and lie rather than risk everything falling apart.