Leaving abusive relationships (merged)

Ivrytwr3

i fear that someone is going to say get a grip

You have every right to be happy and no-one should come between you and that!!!

---

It sounds ike you've already made up your mind. Like what has already been said, this thread has escalated from its original query.

If this guy is "psycho" and you do intend to ditch him. Think about how you are going to break it to him. Also let a friend/family member know what you are doing and either tell them you will call them by a certain time, or even better have them close by, upstairs, next door, somewhere you can easily reach them if things turn nasty.

But we are looking at the 'worse case scenario'. He may be ready to break up himself and not had the courage to do it. There are 2 sides to every story.

As i said earlier, good luck and you will get through this i'm sure.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Hi djdido,

What ever you decide to do and however it pans out, keep posting here, let ppl know how you get on.

I will keep an eye on this thread over the coming weeks / months etc.

There are a lot of ppl who have been in similar situations / scenarios, so don't hesitate to ask for opinons and you can always PM ppl directly if need be.

I wish you well:beer:

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Here is a link to aposter Black Saturn who has experience in this area.


http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=236839

djdido2

how do i pm somebody??? complete newbie even to the computer. god no he is not ready to break it off. if i even approach we have a problem he cries and pleads "please dont leave me etc". almost obsessed with me in a way. will have to go soon as he is due anytime and will be checking pc for what i have looked at. is there any way he cd find out what i have been looking at on pc????

lisele

djdido,

I think it takes amazing courage for you to face the situation you're in. He sounds scary and abusive to me. For me, I know I'm doing something wrong, if I would be ashamed or upset for my mother to know about it. There's probably a very good reason why your mother would go ballistic if she knew what was going on with you and your boyfriend. It doesn't sound healthy. You deserve a loving and healthy relationship, and your children deserve the example of seeing their mum in a loving and healthy relationship. You deserve to be happy. Your kids will only want for you to be happy. In your heart, you know the right thing to do.

It isn't right that you should be afraid of your partner. His manipulations or convincing arguments can't take away from the validity of your feelings. If you're afraid of him, then there's a serious problem. Life's scary enough--who wants it in a relationship?

((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Take care. lisele

djdido2

please leave posts for me and i can check them tomorow when he is at work. thank you so much to each and everyone of you.

xx djdido

Penny_Watcher

((((Hugs))))

I've just read through this thread from start to finish. Bless you love, but things need to change. It's sooooooooo hard to find the inner strength to do it though, isn't it? Do you have a womens aid organisation near you. They can offer you support and advice.

Keep posting here so we know you're safe and well (if you don't mind that is). Sometimes just writing things down can help to sort things out in your own mind.

All the very best. X

Bestthingsinlifearefree

djdido2 wrote:

please leave posts for me and i can check them tomorow when he is at work. thank you so much to each and everyone of you.

xx djdido

To PM (private message) someone, click on their name and the second option is PM.

I will send one to you now to test the system.

djdido2

i'll definitely be posting again. back tomoro as he who pays nowt is on his way

xx

back tomoro

djdido

msmicawber

As regards the PMs, I haven't done it either, but if you look at the User CP tab up above, there's an option to send a private message.

A good way of looking at the fact that he gets so hysterical at the thought of you leaving him, is that he needs you more than you need him. You might draw some strength from that.

If you're worried he may read your posts, clear your cookies, temporary internet files and internet history, then even if this site comes up, you won't be logged in, so he won't know it's you (if he even finds his way to this thread).

Best of luck to you djdido2.