Leaving abusive relationships (merged)

chocomonsta

Good Luck and hugs to you. I am sure it will be hard for you over the next couple of days and maybe even weeks but I am sure you have done the right thing for you. Now you can get on with living your life instead of just existing ....well done X

sparklymessygirl

Hi Vik,

Although it is sad - at least you have made a decision rather than just drift along. You are choosing a happier life for yourself and your son.
Come back tomorrow and let us know how you are.

Sparkly x

vik6525

hi all! well, it didnt work out how id planned it thats for darn sure! he actually ended up going last night (we started rowing, and i just flipped, i mean went proper mental (im not proud, but it just came to a head))and i kicked him out. i was in such a stinker of a mood that i dont think even i would have stayed round me! so, about one oclock this after noon the door bell goes. huge bunch of flowers (from him). not once in three and a half years has he ever sent me flowers. ever. at about three this afternoon, door bell goes again. its him. he didnt say anything, just handed me a letter and left. Thing is, I havent actually opened the letter yet. im a bit scared too to be honest, cause im afraid its just going to be empty promises and declarations of love.... so now im just as confused as before!

Night-Owl_5

It's obviously given him a shock and he probably didn't think you would go through with your threat of kicking him out.

Now he's had a kick up the a*se you have made him realise!.

Be brave and open the letter, but whatever happens you need to tell him that he MUST talk to you

good luck with what you decide to do

tru

I've been thinking about you all day.

Open the letter, but before you do, tell yourself that no matter what it says, you're sticking to your decision and he still has prove himself, no matter how long it takes.

vik6525

the letter is just sitting there, staring at me! i feel like its got teeth and its gonna bite my hand off if i go anywhere near it! lol

tru

vik6525 wrote:

the letter is just sitting there, staring at me! i feel like its got teeth and its gonna bite my hand off if i go anywhere near it! lol

:rotfl:

Just leave it then, cover it with a book or something so it can't see you :rotfl:

Open it when you're ready.

GardenMillie

Vik

So sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. You say you don't want to give up after being together 3 1/2 years but have things got worse recently or has it always been like this? If not when did things change?

It sounds like things aren't going to change. Maybe you could try counselling (Relate) but if he wont acknowledge the problem with you it's unlikely he will with a stranger.

Hugs to you - you need them.

sparklymessygirl

Hmmm - blimey!

I agree - wait until you feel strong enough and calm enough to deal properly with what is in the letter. Actions do speak louder than words so what is in the letter can only be a very small beginning (if it is at all).

Do you feel bold and excited today or just exhausted?

You are a strong woman - don't forget that!

Sparkly x

wigginsmum

You're well within your rights to sit on the situation for a few days; don't be pressured into replying immediately.