Whiffy In-Law

Financial_Novice_2

Why not ask Kim & Aggie, them of the "How Clean is your Minge" show, to pay her a visit.

miserly_mum

skintchick wrote: »

this is the news story people were talking about

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30100-1311075,00.html

Makes you wonder where the kids and grandkids were when all that was happening? They obviously didn't visit or they'd have seen how bad it had got

miserly_mum

Mojisola wrote: »

I think this is awful - you might have to put up with her for a day - the residents have to cope with the smell all the time! If I had a relative living there, I'd be making complaints all the time.

I agree with you. But on a serious note most Nursing homes do that "certain smell" and I suppose SIL then doesn't stand out quite so much as say in an office enviroment. Which is probably why she has got away with it for so long.

Progress report........

OH was on the phone with his Mum last night and told her to make sure SIL is clean on Saturday or else she won't be getting into the car.

This was after we had a heart to heart. I told him I felt it was an insult to us to come to our home (which we've spent a lot of time and money on making it nice) smelling the way she does.

That I also would not be happy with helping her financially or any other way until she'd cleaned up her act, quite literally. She expects everyone do do everything for her.

Prime example was a phone call to OH telling him her Freeview box wasn't working (we'd given her the box and freecycled the TV for her). Now bear in mind we live 30 odd miles away. Turned out to be a loose scart lead, but obviously it was our responsibility as we gave her the box :mad:

noonesperfect

Let us know how you got on wont you.
I hope the message gets through this time and she maintains an acceptable level of cleanliness.

Without wanting to be offensive, it sounds like your SIL is incapable of taking any sort of responsibility (still lives at home/hygiene problems and no doubt has your MIL running round her in small circles) yet she can hold down a job OK. I know its not exactly a job which stretches her intellect, but it's not an easy job caring for people in a home, whatever their affliction may be. I couldn't do it.
I can only think she has reached the conclusion that "if they can smell like that, then it's OK for me too". No offence to either parties intended.

Sassers

I was just wondering if low self esteem started when your SIL was a teenager? It can become something like a self-fulfilling prophesy over the years.. Sorry I don't mean to be rude, perhaps she was teased at school early on about smelling and thought right if you think that then it must be true....
For many years I was told I was thick - and believed it. Then I discovered I wasn't and it was quite a revelation when I went to college and did other things.:D
I really feel sorry for you all - it's not easy! Maybe one way of getting her to think differently is for you to book a day at a health spa? Perhaps if the family are concerned too, you could all chip in with the cost?
And just drop the news on her - right we're off to so-and-so when she arrives. So she can't wriggle out of it.
Pool, sauna, massage, hair,make-up and nails done....
Might actually make her have a light-bulb moment.

I dunno...? what do you guys and gals think?

Please let us know how you get on OP...

elop_htuos

Say you have a new bathroom suite and you would be overjoyed if she tried it out....

If this doesnt work just tell her, if she doesnt like it you will guarantee her not coming round again!

miserly_mum

noonesperfect wrote: »

Let us know how you got on wont you.
I hope the message gets through this time and she maintains an acceptable level of cleanliness.

Without wanting to be offensive, it sounds like your SIL is incapable of taking any sort of responsibility (still lives at home/hygiene problems and no doubt has your MIL running round her in small circles) yet she can hold down a job OK. I know its not exactly a job which stretches her intellect, but it's not an easy job caring for people in a home, whatever their affliction may be. I couldn't do it.
I can only think she has reached the conclusion that "if they can smell like that, then it's OK for me too". No offence to either parties intended.

SIL has lived on her own and supported herself for 20 years and lives in a lovely 3 bedroom house rented house. Well it was lovely when she moved in. Suppose it still is under all the dust and mess.

She has been promoted up the scale twice in her job and isn't just a "bum wiper" if you know what i mean.

miserly_mum

elop_htuos wrote: »

Say you have a new bathroom suite and you would be overjoyed if she tried it out....

If this doesnt work just tell her, if she doesnt like it you will guarantee her not coming round again!

Funny you should say that, we have just had a new bathroom put in.......

Hmmmmmmm where can you legally buy chloroform?

I also cringe at the thought of her sitting on my new loo aswell

GAWD MAYBE ITS ME WITH THE PROBLEM :rotfl:

morganb

miserly_mum wrote: »

OH was on the phone with his Mum last night and told her to make sure SIL is clean on Saturday or else she won't be getting into the car.

What did MIL say?

morganb

Sassers wrote: »

And just drop the news on her - right we're off to so-and-so when she arrives. So she can't wriggle out of it.
Pool, sauna, massage, hair,make-up and nails done....
Might actually make her have a light-bulb moment.

I think if MIL hasn't done anything or said anything since OH spoke to her yesterday, then this might be your only option; and if this fails then you really have done EVERYTHING reasonably possible (and more) to support SIL. I would then bar her from my house.